Somebody please remind me how to deal with tantrumming 3 year olds before I scream...!

[GoofyIsACow]

I have 3.5 year old twins, they have always been a nightmare to feed, i am currently listening to one of them have a screaming meltdown because he wants a yoghurt, he hasn't even touched his tea... Well, that's a lie, he picked up the fork and threw it at me :(

I have absolutely no idea how to deal with them on this, they have a speech delay and don't respond in the same way a normal 3.5 year old would, i cannot reason with him, I cannot explain to him that he cannot have a yoghurt because he hasn't eaten his tea. He doesn't understand.

I am going out of my mind, my eldest Ds was never like this, I know it is largely due to the speech, I could explain to him which would explain the situation, one of the DT's particularly just screams louder and louder until he is hysterical.

In between typing he has calmed down and I have cuddled him, i have explained about the food thing, however he doesn't understand and he is still moaning for a yoghurt.

Any hints and tips welcome because i need some perspective. :(

Just to add, they are like this about everything, not just food, the scraming and shouting is horrific...