I have a beautiful baby boy. He is now 2 years old. I love him whole-heartedly and would never be able to live without him, but sometimes I wish I could just run away. I wasn't ready when I found out I was pregnant at 24. I just graduated university (actually gave birth 2 days after graduating). I was excited to finally have my own time but my boyfriend (now fiance) believed having this child was best. Its been two years and I do love my son, but I'm still unhappy. I miss my old life so much. I miss seeing my friends when I please, just having time to be lazy and do nothing. My fiance is helpful in some areas but overall, he works odd hours and it's always my son and me. I work full-time and fiance works every weekend so there's no family time and limited "ME" time unless I plan with my mother or fiance mother.
I guess I'm seeking reassurance. I'm scared that this gloomy feeling doesn't go away. And to be quite honest, I'm unhappy with my fiance. I've debated leaving him for almost a year but the fear of being a single mom is even more crippling of an idea than anything else. I'm not in a happy and loving relationship so I assumed that had something to do with the feeling of missing my old life? I have no idea but I never thought I would feel this way when having a child. I always wanted children and wanted to be a mother. And now that I am a mother, I miss everything I had-especially my freedom.
:( I just want to know I'm not alone in this battle. I do everything for my son but I just can't help feeling down.
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Love my son but missing my old life before motherhood
13 replies
kaykeets · 29/09/2014 19:10
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