After school activities with 2 kids of different ages.

[Stumbelina]

I'm having a bit of a hard time trying to meet the needs of both DDs and was wondering how others managed. DD1 is 5 and has just started school, DD2 is 1. DD1 wanted to try Rainbows but it is at 4.45 until 5.45 which involves waiting around after school then managing DD2 who is overtired and screamy while DD1 attends the group. It wouldn't be so bad but DD1 is shy and won't join in unless I do everything with her which is impossible with DD2 running around and I end up getting really frustrated with D1 rather than supporting her. My DH isn't home until 7pm and I don't have any family help.

How do you prioritise the needs of both children? Should I just hold off with the Rainbows for another year as DD seems overwhelmed by it all? Should I prioritise DD2's need for a good sleep routine? I think I know the answer but just wondered if anyone else was in a similar situation?

[nousernamesleft]

I've not found the answer yet, I have dd1, 11, who does swimming, drama and guides, ds1, 8, who does cubs, football and home ed group, and dts (9 months) who have to be dragged along to them all.

Swimming is the worst, 2 mornings before school (6-7.30) and teatime on Sunday, but drama is teatime on Wednesday and cubs and guides are bedtime on Wednesday.

I don't think it's fair on the older ones if they miss out, but on the other hand it's not fair on the babies to be dragged from pillar to post all the time.

However, if your dd is struggling a bit with rainbows, especially if she won't stay without you, I'd be dropping it for a year or so until she's more confident and ready, which means Dd2 will be better able to cope with it.

[werenotreallyhere]

What time does your partner get home from work? Could he leave early once a week and pick up your daughter from Rainbows on the way?

[werenotreallyhere]

Whoops, you did write that he's back at 7pm...sorry, it's too early!

[scrappydappydoo]

Does she have any friends that do rainbows? Someone she could hold hands with and you can share drop off/pick up with.
It is a juggle I've always had a backpack full of activities for the waiting child and lots of snacks. I just find a corner or coffee shop somewhere and wait it out.

[amistillsexy]

I thought the whole point of children going to clubs like Rainbows is that they go alone and build their independence?

If she's not ready to go alone, she's not ready. Since she's only 4, just started school, and you've got a baby, I would leave it till she's more confident and the baby's older, then she can go...and stay by herself.

Meanwhile, bring her home after school and play with her. She'll learn far more from you at this age and stage.

[hippo123]

Unless she's able to go by herself, or with a friend, she's not ready. I doubt the leaders would to be happy with you hanging around with a 1 year old.
Once she's more confident stick to local things were you drop and go, therefore actually getting to enjoy some 1:1 time with your baby.
Swimming lessons are the worse though as they tend to only be 30 mins and you have to hang around to help them change. That's not easy with a 1/2 year old who's stuck in a buggy also desperate to go swimming.
Some things happen at a weekend, ballet, gymnastics, drama etc. could your dh help you then?

[Stumbelina]

Thank you for your responses. I thought that her being 5 she would be happy to go in by herself but have underestimated her lack of confidence. It took nearly a year of me attending swimming lessons and having to get in the pool with her for her to finally have the confidence to get in. Now I get to swim while she does her lesson which is bliss. As for Rainbows I think she is finding the whole starting school quite enough for now so may hold off for another year until she is used to it.