need to devise reward charts/systems for a 3 and 5 yo. Something simple and effective!

[sunshine05]

Anyone have any successful reward chart systems they use for 3 and/or 5 year olds?

I want them to do certain things each day and then link this with their pocket money at the end of the week. I tried a star system where they got 4-5 stars a day for doing different things then added them up and at the end of the week if they had enough they'd get their pocket money. It was a system of squares on paper and they'd stamp or colour in the stars but it failed! i kept forgetting to give them their stars then my eldest decided he wanted to colour in the stars and spent hours doing intricate designs on them and couldn't keep up with how many he needed to colour in!

I need a simple system with a few things they need to do each day like tidy their rooms, play nicely, eat dinner well etc.

any ideas would be greatly appreciated!...

[littlemonster]

Something simple like 5 stars in a day and an extra story at bedtime, or an extra 10 minutes TV or whatever depending on your routine. An extra story was a huge carrot for one of my DC. We also had great success with a 15-20 minute stay up for our eldest DC, after younger sibling was in bed. Depends on your routine and how it can be adapted.

I find charts based on a weekly tally, especially for a 3 year old, are very hard to be consistent with as if they have a bad Mo/Tues/Weds they have no idea how they can make it up and no concept of time and it just ends up with them either feeling rubbish or ignoring it, and you feel guilty because undoubtedly at some point you'll feel you've been too harsh or whatever.

[Givemecaffeine21]

My sister has a magnetic reward chart which already lists the sort of things you're talking about and when they achieve the task they get to stick a magnet on the chart. No colouring in required! She got it on amazon.

I'm currently encouraging my toddler through a potty training regression and have designed my own chart which has a photo of her, the toilet, spaces for stickers, and above it a photo of a Peppa pig DVD which I will buy her when she fills the sticker chart (I.e. Had stayed dry for a good period of time). It's pretty blatant that way what the chart is about - you could always do a picture of a money box or coins or something above the chart.

[Iggly]

Bin the charts. Honestly, you don't want them to do things for payment, you want to instil good behaviours full stop.

With mine, I tidy their rooms and get them to help me to show them how to do things like make their beds. I teach them to play together or at least not fight by telling them how to manage conflict. Eat dinner - er if they're hungry they eat. If not they don't. You can't do a reward chart for everything.

[LiverpoolLou]

When my DD was little we used reward charts but the charts themselves were the reward. They were only used for 1 behaviour at a time to keep it simple. So, for example, she'd create an 'under the sea' background picture and then everytime she came the first time she was called she'd get to choose a fish sticker to stick on her picture.

[Bothofyou]

Wooden jigsaws are good - choose one with the correct number of pieces and give them a piece for their puzzle as often as you like. When the puzzle is complete they can choose a "mummy and me" activity like baking/art/playing dress up together/ an outing etc etc.

[sunshine05]

littlemonster that's a good idea- we've been letting the 5 year old stay up later than our 3 year old then threatening him by saying he'll have to go to bed the same time as the younger one if he doesn't behave, but turing it around so it's more positive sounds like a much better idea- i.e. you can stay up later if you do this, this and this! (DH finds it hard to be 'positive' -he's more of a disciplinarian so will have to convince him of this!)

givemecaffeine21 I'll have to look for that reward chart- sounds like a great idea. Have tried various charts that we've printed off the internet but they either get lost or ruined and it means I have to keep doing new ones once the old ones have been used.

Iggly I see your point but I do think reward charts have a place and purpose if they're used correctly to reinforce positive behaviour. Maybe some children will just 'be good' but others are more strong willed and I think that's when behaviour charts come into their own. And with regards to dinner, my middle one simply complains about dinner every night and won't eat unless encouraged- not because he's not hungry, he's just trying to assert himself so we have to use rewards or he'd never eat!

thanks for the ideas everyone!