DD just turned 1 - am I mad to be considering a second?

[Poppytime]

That really! Seen a few discussions recently about age gaps and also feeling quite broody, despite knowing how hard the newborn stage is and DD is still really a baby...am I mad to be considering it?! We were going to wait until April next year, possibly after Christmas as we both really want a second. But I seem to be stupidly impatient! DD is so cute right now but still hard work sometimes so maybe I should just leave it for a bit..but in 9 months she will probably be so different right? I am also nearly 32 so don't want to wait toooo long. Any experiences of 2 under 2 (just!) gratefully received, be it to tell me I'm better off waiting till DD older or to just get on with it!! Also just returned to work 7 weeks ago...would feel a little guilty going off again so soon but it wouldn't stop me I guess...

[poshfrock]

Ask Kate Middleton.

[Poppytime]

Ha my DH did joke we could just follow the royal pattern...however she has significantly more help than I will I suspect!

[greensnail]

I would say go for it. I have a 17 month age gap between my girls and it worked really well for us. I think pregnancy with a one year old to look after is probably easier than with a two year old as at least they still generally will have a daytime nap so you can rest. It was hard work when they were both tiny but now they are 4 and 5 and best friends which makes our lives much easier as they keep each other occupied.
I was already pregnant when I went back to work after first maternity leave. My boss and colleagues were absolutely fine about it although I worked with lots of women of childbearing age and there were always one or two off on maternity leave at a time, my boss said it made no real difference that it was me twice in a row.

[middlings]

16 months between my pair and DD1 wasn't walking when DD2 arrived. First six months were hard - DD2 was a bit of a revelation. DD1 had settled into two night feeds within a couple of weeks and slept through from 13 weeks (and yes, I mean 7 to 7). DD2 was a nightmare to settle until 6 months and used to wake for up to three hours in a stretch at night. She'd then co-sleep from 4.30 or so. She now sleeps (11 mos) but still gets up at 6. Wasn't too bad when I was still BF as I'd bring her in with me for another 45 minutes or so but she binned that as an idea about four weeks ago.

It is hard and frenetic - rebuilding our house for the last six months hasn't helped but watching pregnant friends now running around after toddlers, I'm glad we did it this way.

Watching the girls together is already quite sweet. They get on quite well :) Although there's a lot of "No DD2, MY toy, you no play!" DD2's reaction tends be a giggle and a hair pull....so we're working on that .

I too went back to work pregnant, although only just as DD1 was 8 months. I was back at work for just over six months. It is definitely NOT the done thing at my place, and it did provide a source of amusement. I think it did affect the way I'm viewed and, as I've also come back part-time this time, I've had to work very hard to rebuild a reputation but I'm getting there as I'm getting things done. I have actually worked out that, had I taken all my ML, and my holidays at the end, I could have come back to work for just two weeks before going off again! I'm glad I didn't do that!

[Poppytime]

Thanks both! It's very tempting. I was also lucky and enjoyed being pregnant...can't help feeling like I am being a bit rose tinted and naive though..!

[AnnieLobeseder]

No, it's sounds like a very normal gap. Most siblings I know have 18 months to 2.5 years between then, which your gap will be. Don't forget it's unlikely you'll conceive immediately.

[Zara8]

I'll tell you in 5 weeks when DC2 is born. DS is 2 in October.

Alternating between shitting myself and looking forward to it all. At this point in time I don't regret deciding to go for a smallish gap.

[Zara8]

I was also very broody from when DS turned 1... So nothing unusual about what you're feeling OP!

[TravellingToad]

Go for it. Very normal gap. We have 20 months between ours and its been fantastic. DS1 was too young to be jealous, and now they are 7m and 27m and best of friends.

The older one will still take naps and you can eventually co-ordinate nap time so you get a break.

When the children are 7 and 8.5 (for example) you'll hardly notice the gap and they'll be at the same stage at the same time. Makes days out easier. Imagine trying to think of an activity to appeal to a 7 year old and a 13 yr old. Much harder.

Anyway, I'm biased but your little one will be so different in 9 months time, it's hard to imagine now.

[middlings]

YY to coordinated nap times. After lunch in our house, everyone gets a sleep!

[Poppytime]

Ooh good luck Zara! How exciting! Well yes 20 month age gap doesn't sound so scary once written out...and I am liking the sound of post lunch naps for all! Mmm am going out with DH for wedding anniversary dinner tonight (DD with babysitter) - perhaps an item for conversation?!?

[Pregnantagain7]

I think you will be fine and it's lovely to have them reasonably close together, I, on the other hand am slightly mad as I'm due in 4 weeks and Ds turned one on Monday oh well that will teach me not to listen to the hv's talk on contraception

[Poppytime]

ahh pregnantagain you will be fine :) congratulations on your pregnancy and hope all goes well!well we decided January is the most sensible earliest, but neither of us would worry if it was sooner!

[DIYandEatCake]

I'd say go for it too. We started ttc when dd was 1, but have a 2.9 year age gap - it took 6 months to conceive, I miscarried that baby, then it took another few months to conceive again. Hopefully you'll be lucky and it will all happen when you want it to, but you can never tell how long it might take.

[verybigsigh]

I say go for it! I speak from bitter experience.

[Poppytime]

You are right of course DIY, I can't expect to conceive straight away...aargh have been thinking about it since I woke up, why does nature make you obsess over such things?!

[Poppytime]

Verybigsigh - it's the bitter experience I'm afraid of!!

[Poppytime]

Well we kind of backtracked and decided to see where nature takes us as of this month! Eek! May wreck a few holiday plans but this is more important right?! Am excited and nervous at the same time!

[TravellingToad]

Yes, DO IT! Unless you're worried about a summer birthday from the school point of view?

[Bedsheets4knickers]

I got broody after my sons 1st bday, 26 months between mine. So worth the few rocky moments in the early days. X

[MotherOfInsomniacToddlers]

If you want to then go for it! When my dd turned 1 I was 6 months pregnant with ds. We have no family support, and neither were easy babies but I still love the age gap. They are little friends (now age 2 and 3)

[whyhasmyheadgonenumb]

19 months between mine, if I had the choice I would of made it a smaller gap - get the baby bit over with and let the toddler madness begin :)

[MotherOfInsomniacToddlers]

I should also add that we were going to wait til January to ttc for dc3. I got really broody around April. Decided why wait. I will have 3 children under 4, many say I'm crazy but we are happy :-)

[Mrsgrumble]

I am in a similar boat to pregnantagain

Will be rushed off my feet, no doubt