Talk

Flip

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

I REALLY don't get it

6 replies

Moomin · 22/09/2006 10:47

I teach secondary kids and one of my classes is a low ability Y9 class who are lovely. Yesterday one lad who is a bit of a rogue but really nice and obviously after a bit of attention a lot of the time was telling me at the end of the lesson about his auntie who had died last year. I won't go into the details for reasons that will become obvious in a minute. She died pretty tragically and even though he was fine when we were talking, a minute later I looked round and he was in floods of tears, really sobbing.

I took him into a quiet place to comfort him and he said he never cried at home because he didn't want to upset his parents. He then revealed that the story has been sold to one of the national weekly 'Real tragedies' and gossip magazines by his mum and the story appears this week. He was very cut up about it all and dreading other kids seeing this magazine over the weekend and asking him all about it.

I can't really comment about what the rest of the family must be going through - I'm sure they are all gutted about the loss of this family member, but FGS why sell your 'grief' story to a national magazine??! This lad is in a terrible state. I feel really and quite about these magazines and if I'm going to be honest, the need by some families to air their tragedies in public in this way. Why do it?

OP posts:

Report

ginmummy · 22/09/2006 10:50

If she died tragically and she thinks someone is responsible but they will never be held to account for it then maybe it's a cathartic way to get it out of your system?

Feel sorry for the rest of the family who have to read it knowing that she's profited from their misery.

Report

DelGirl · 22/09/2006 10:54

gosh that's so sad, feely really sorry for the poor lad

Report

DelGirl · 22/09/2006 10:56

About 4 women in my situation 'sold' their story to the papers and one wrote a book about her experience. The only time it crossed my mind to do so was if it. But I couldn't do it, I don't want to profit from loss, though the thought had crosed my mind that any money could be put in trust for dd.

Report

DelGirl · 22/09/2006 10:58

must have deleted part of my post. The only thing I considered was if it gave hope to others in the same situation was what I meant to say

Report

hunkermunker · 22/09/2006 11:00

Oh blimey, poor lad Glad he has you as a teacher - can you head off the other children asking him about it somehow? Tricky though

Report

Moomin · 22/09/2006 11:46

Difficult. I only work 2 days a week so won't see him til Tuesday now. I told his form tutor and head of year so they're aware of the situation. He also sees the school counsellor from time to time so she said she's look him out today and check he's feeling ok.

I don't think his parents have a clue how he feels. Admittedly if he's not crying in front of them it might be easier to forget about him but he's only 13 and was very close to his auntie from what he told me.

... and yes it looks like there was negligence/blame attached to the death.