How do you whittle down guest list for kids birthday party without offending anyone

[voluptuagoodshag]

My ds will be ten and wants to go camping so it'd just a bare minimum of pals (3) we can fit in the car.
He's a popular chap and gets invited to loads of parties. We've done biggish ones in past but trying to move on a bit. He seems happy to have a small one.
My problem is working out the dynamics so that all the kids get on and muck in. Given that this will be an overnighter with lots of boy type rough and tumble play I want to make it as easy on myself and DH as possible without having the group split making it difficult to keep an eye on everyone. Ds and his best friend are very sociable and similarly natured

Another is the son of a friend of mine. Ds doesn't really want to invite him as he said he wasted his previous parties for various reasons. However an invite will be expected.
All UN envoy tactics and tips welcome

[feelingmellow]

Get him to put names in a hat and do a lucky dip - leave out the boys name. Then you can tell the boy and parents that his name didn't get picked

[QTPie]

To be perfectly honest, if your son is restricted to 3 pals, I think that he should choose all of them. If it is a much bigger party, then slipping in the son of a friend is ok, but at a very restricted event, it should be up to your son (it is his birthday).

I would explain to the friend that you are really sorry, but it is only 3 being invited and your son had 3 bestest pals that he just couldn't choose between.

Good luck.

[itiswhatitiswhatitis]

I agree you son should get to choose. If your friend gets snarky about it that's her issue

[voluptuagoodshag]

Seems sensible. Will go for that.