DS only wants 'boy' things

(15 Posts)
kiki0202 Sun 31-Aug-14 09:20:18

DS is 2.5 has had a thing about boy things and girl things for a while now it started just the odd thing but it's now becoming and issue and I have no idea what to do about it. I don't want to tell him off for it but i've tried to explain that everyone can share everything and shown him mummy wears all colours so does daddy but he's still stuck on boy/girl. I've also tried to figure out where he is getting it from but no one seems to be telling him I've watched very carefully and have not seen anyone mention anything.

It's went from only wanting the blue plate from last night telling me that I couldn't play a game with him because it's a boy game when it wasn't even what would be classed as a boy game. I don't want him to think like this any ideas how to get him out of it would help.

So as not to drip feed he has toys ranging from a tool box to a buggy, girl and boy friends and no one he is in contact with has any particular issues with gender stereotyping.

ChunkyPickle Sun 31-Aug-14 09:54:53

Does he actually know what boy and girl things are supposed to be (if society is to be believed) or does he randomly assign?

I ask because my DS (4) uses the word 'boy' as a synonym for 'child' because that's what he's always been called (good boy etc) - he doesn't really know what the difference is, and will often use the wrong pronoun when talking about other people.

What he does do is decide that some things are just for him and his brother rather than me/dp and so says they are for boys, or split us into two teams and say what we're allowed to play/do.

I think it's probably normal us and themming, rather than gender stereotyping - he just happens to have zeroed in on people being split into boys and girls and is using that as a handy team definer iyswim

AnguaResurgam Sun 31-Aug-14 10:10:18

Well, someone has shown him gender stereotypes, or else he wouldn't be conforming to them in a way that concerns you.

Knowing where this conditioning is coming from might help you make the changes you want.

What television does he watch? Does he go shopping with you? There's a heck of a lot of unnecessarily gendered marketing around.

ArabellaTarantella Sun 31-Aug-14 12:06:13

My son also did this - he discarded the doll and pushchair I bought for him. I was soooooooooooo upset. He became a boy 'naturally' - nothing was forced on him grin

SoonToBeSix Sun 31-Aug-14 12:09:56

Just let him at with what he wants to play with . If he only wants to play with cars and trucks and call them " boys" toys what is the problem. You are looking for an issue where there isn't one.

ladybirdandsnails Sun 31-Aug-14 12:14:50

My DD picked up on boy girl about the same age and I never figured out where from. Mine only ever watched Cbeebies at that age or DVDs of fireman Sam / Thomas. Nursery was non gendered as far as I saw. DD refused to wear girls clothes or toys and in a shop (didn't go often at all) she would head straight for boys section and state so. Mystery.

kiki0202 Sun 31-Aug-14 13:15:45

He is sort of making up boy/girl things as he goes along the game he told me I couldn't play a game last night he was happy to play the sam game with BIL girlfriend earlier on. He loves to push his pink doll around in his blue buggy and also loves to play at spiderman and has a pink hand me down innotab. It seems a bit random he's pretty sharp so I think maybe he's just looked around and seen the differences in gender that's everywhere and clung on to it without actually knowing what is a girl toy and what's a boy toy so he just makes it up.

The thing that worry's me is that he will go to nursery and tell some poor little girl she can't play with something because it's a boy thing.

ladybirdandsnails Sun 31-Aug-14 13:28:40

And that happened to DD ... Boys telling her she couldn't play with x at age 4 as she was a girl. She gets very upset and confused

kiki0202 Sun 31-Aug-14 13:38:29

that's exactly what I want to avoid ladybird and I don't want DS to limit himself to certain things but not sure how to stop it. So far I've just said there are not girl or boy toys/colours everyone can like/play with whatever they want.

ladybirdandsnails Sun 31-Aug-14 13:47:45

I think you just keep repeating that message as do we

catkind Sun 31-Aug-14 17:17:29

DD is the same age and has also started noticing what the "big gurls" are doing since a few months back. We just calmly correct any misunderstandings, like we do with all the other things they get wrong. And point out counterexamples among her friends. "No, that's a game for everyone." "Well my favourite colour is blue, lets ask daddy what his favourite colour is." It seems to be getting through. It's strange though, her brother was entirely oblivious of all this till he started school, and didn't give it much credence when he did notice it - his favourite colour is still pink at the end of reception.

PiratePanda Sun 31-Aug-14 17:24:27

They start gender policing around this age; it's a normal stage, so don't sweat it. You also can't stop them mixing with children whose parents do prefer gender stereotyping, and unless you remove your family to a commune, there's nothing you can do about them coming home declaring pink to be for girls and waving imaginary guns. Just continue to point out the stereotypes are wrong, and he'll eventually get it.

BackforGood Sun 31-Aug-14 17:25:49

What catkind said - you just correct them when they get confused as you do with all the things they get mixed up about at this age. You don't need to tell anyone off, but just put the correction in your next sentence. He's just learning all about the world, and will continue to learn for a while yet - no need to make a 'thing' out of it.

superstarheartbreaker Sun 31-Aug-14 18:03:29

I think it's pretty normal. Dd was ultra girly but suddenly getting into jeans etc.

superstarheartbreaker Sun 31-Aug-14 18:04:32

It's very confusing as I read an article about a woman who brought up her to gender neutral and I found it very odd.

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