Son (4.5) a little too sociable...

(6 Posts)
QTPie Sat 30-Aug-14 22:08:28

Please tell me that DS is not the only one.

DS, a late talker, has really blossomed and will talk to anyone and everyone. Favourite conversation starters are showing people his flashing shoes, his Batman pants or his tummy. Also prone to giving complete strangers a big hug (normally his face in their groin). It is just lovely and some people ( particularly women of a certain age - 40s/50s/beyond) tend to really respond to him, which is lovely. I thought that my neighbour's stepmother was going to take him home and adopt him... He does bring joy to some people with his friendliness. However, some people don't respond too well and some are uncomfortable (especially with the hugs - understandable).

How can I "reign him in a bit" without trampling on his friendliness and enthusiasm?

DiaDuit Sat 30-Aug-14 22:12:10

sounds just like my 5yo DS. he knows more of the neighbours than I do and is so sociable it can be awkward when he talks to people and I have no idea who they are but they know him. it is lovely. I'm no help to you though. sorry! grin

fairgame Sat 30-Aug-14 22:16:04

Maybe give him a list of who it is ok to hug e.g family, friends. Explain that it's not ok to hug strangers. If he really wants to interact with people outside the list of those he can hug then maybe teach him that he can shake hands instead.
I have a similar problem with my 9yo who has SN and this is the approach school are doing with him.

Yoruba Sun 31-Aug-14 13:40:54

I have a dd just the same, in fact I posted about it a year or so ago. She's got better as she's aged but only a little..!

She sometimes does a thing where she clearly wants to start a conversation but doesn't know what to say so she'll just say one word in a baby voice so the person just looks at me like this confused

Other times I can't get her to be quiet and let the stranger carry on walking their dogs / whatever..

Sorry no advice just wanted you to know you weren't the only one!

QTPie Sun 31-Aug-14 16:52:53

Thanks very much - great to know that DS is big alone.

He is trying so hard to be sociable and friendly, but some times it isn't appropriate... He has also started "roaring" at strangers: he means it in a friendly way (sort of a conversation starter), but it is rather wide of the mark sad

I am relieved that school is about to start again - most of his preschool are going up into reception - and he will be doing lots of socialising with his friends again (we have done quite a lot of play dates over the Summer - as well as a multitude of other activities - so he hasn't been unsocialised or bored...). He already has a good bunch of friends at school who are similarly outgoing when together. DS just hasn't worked out how to be gentle on social introductions.

Will keep working at it...

LittleLionMansMummy Sun 31-Aug-14 21:41:19

I've got one of these and i'm struggling with the same dilemma! He just loves talking and is really energised by interacting, a proper little extravert but in an endearing way. We had to have a little talk to him recently on holiday after he went into someone else's motorhome when our backs were turned. They were a lovely older couple who had grandchildren of their own, but it worried me. He thought because we'd spoken to them a couple of times that we 'knew them'. We had to try to explain the difference between knowing someone a little and knowing them well, and that if he knows someone a little he must always check with us before wandering off and talking to someone. As you say, it's a difficult line to tread as you don't want to scare them or stomp on their enthusiasm.

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