My dd has a habit of refusing to play with my very close friend's child. I think she does it as a way of gaining dominance and control. The other little girl who is about 6 months younger gets into a terrible state when ths happens. She has tantrums anyway but this seems to be. Pretty bad. Dd is 6. I can't force her to play but how do I get her to drop the control trip?
To be perfectly honest, I think that I would stop them seeing each other (at least for a while): as nice as it would be, we can't choose our children's friends... Can you see you friend without your daughter (ie oh out just the two of you)?
Oh, your poor daughter, you cannot choose her friends for her. It is so convenient for us as adults for them to be friends with our friends' children that we forget that they have their own tastes in friends.
Boys can be similar too and sometimes it can be hot and cold. I would give it a break - you never know, in a few months, things may change (maybe arrange a very short park date to see). Also, at this sort of age, children (boys and girls) can be "contrary" for the heck if it.
Just enjoy some good, child free, meet-ups with your friend in the mean time.