Some of you may have read my thread last week that I was considering stopping my ex taking my DDs - age 5 and 6 on a holiday this week due to various issues, mainly trust and their safety (Not violence, just general bad parenting/lack of safety awareness etc).
Anyway, I ended up letting them go as his sister (who was also going on the holiday, as were all his family) phoned me and assured me that she would make sure everything went smoothly, that I could contact her instead of dealing with him, she would ensure the children were safe and they would phone me daily.
I dropped them off on Friday night and since then have discovered:
- I was lied to about where they were going
- I was lied to about who was going with them
- The phone calls have been massively limited, having a 1 min conversation with the girls with the adults constantly butting in telling them what to say. I have spoken to them twice, since friday, despite being promised daily phone calls.
- DD1 tried to tell me today about something that happened with DD2 involving "something dangerous" at the back of the caravan. My Ex told her not to tell me and she was then too scared to talk about it. I asked her if Daddy had told her not to tell me and she said yes but was then just saying "forget about it" "let's pretend I didn't say anything"
He eventually, after lots of probing admitted that DD2 had gone near the electrical supply thing that's on the outside of the caravan, she was round the back UNSUPERVISED. He then went on to say that he didn't tell DD1 not to tell me (which is bollox) despite the fact she was sat next to him listening to him call her a lier. She was clearly upset by this and I feel he put her in an awful situation. I am more pissed off about him telling DD1 not to tell me than anything else as this is so wrong in my opinion. I would never do that the other way round.
- My messages asking for an update of how they are/if I can speak to them, over the past few days have been ignored mainly. Therefore obviously I was concerned so would ask again after a good few hours - I am not silly and I know they will be busy but at the end of the day it's the first time they have been away from home and one of the conditions of them going were that I was kept in the loop and he had said he would send me "constant updates and photos" (His idea not mine).
I have expressed that I am unhappy about all the above and in doing so have had every member of the famiy who are on the holiday phone me shouting abuse at me down the phone. At one point yesterday he messaged me saying he was bringing the girls home cause it was too much hassle and I was pissing him off - I still have these messages. He then went on to tell the girls (and the rest of his family by the sounds of it) that I demanded them to come home. I have the messages saved to prove it was the other way round but even if it wasn't - why on earth would you upset the kids like that?!
Anyway, I am now being told that I have to leave them alone for the rest of the holiday or they will have me done for harassment!! Bearing in mind I haven't phoned them once. They have phoned me on numerous occasions shouting abuse at me. There are 4 adults there from his family, each one of them have had a go. But obviously I have no proof of this as it was by phone call so all i could prove is that he phoned but not what was said.
However I have admittedly sent texts. Nothing abusive though and not loads -just a couple of times a day asking if he would let me speak to them at some point that day when they got a min.
I did however message him about the incident today when I spoke to DDs - because he hung up on me with no explanation as to what had actually happened.
What on earth do I do? Obviously I have left it without contact since then but I want to know that my children are safe and happy and I want to be able to speak with them as I know the adults wouldn't tell me the truth.
I seriously wish I had listened to my instincts and not let them go
