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Housework & work(30 Posts)
Hi just wondering how much housework any FT working mums manage. Even tho DH tries to assist in the main bits eg cleaning kitchen, cooking, shopping, washed laundry (never puts away) the house is like an absolute tip. I have no time to organise /clear out anything to make room so it's just the minimum done eg beds changed clothes washed. Floors are done I want to say once a week but not really & upstairs you can barely move for boxes of books etc. we can't get into half the wardrobes but as we both work FT we have no time to clear out. Both of us tend towards clutter anyway & the kids rooms are ok ish.
When I get home from work usually around 6pm on average I'm so exhausted I can just about do minimum clearing up & once the kids are put to bed the last thing I can face is any housework. Do other mothers do an hour or so in the evening or even more than that ? During school term my routine consists of finding uniforms making lunches & falling into bed so it all builds up until the weekend. l also find that when I'm not in work I want to spend time with the kids who compete for my attention making it harder to get work done in the home, or we take them out meaning we're not there to tidy up other than the cycle of making dinners etc so no progress ever gets made on proper deep cleaning or clearing out ! I'm embarrassed when anyone calls other than best friends or family & we can never have anyone over as the work required in advance is too much.
Would really appreciate tips on managing time & energy for housework kids & work ! I subscribe to flylady but even 15 mins is beyond me some days !! Also money is tight so cleaner not an option at the moment.
All FT working mums I know have a cleaner. We did and when we lost her I thought we would cope. She ironed our work stuff too. Nope house is a bomb site and ironing in huge piles. I was off sick recently and finally managed to attack some boxes and cupboards. I am totally in the same boat
Al In at 5 -6pm. Cook tea for all, eat tea, clear carnage, baths, stories, try and get kids to settle, finish clear up, washer on, try sort urgent post / bills/ jobs. Make lunches, put out clothes for morning. Sort school stuff e.g. Requests, costumes etc Pour wine, 30 mins TV / bath etc fall into bed. Start again at 6.30am
When I was working full time, dh and I both did an hour of housework on evening. At weekends we took it kn turns to take dd out and the other did big cleaning jobs.
It is hard. Really hard! Feel like we both sacrifice our own leisure time and family time to keep on top of the house. No suggestions, only sympathy.
Cleaner, 3 hours a week. Utter godsend. And the fact she comes once a week keeps us vaguely tidy.
DH and I split all household jobs between us though. Why isn't yours pulling his weight? His attitude sounds a bit rubbish tbh.
I think you both just get less sleep tbh. Must admit I am looking forward to a minor op I need as it means 2 weeks off work, have a long list of jobs to get done!
Thanks for the replies. I've had cleaners on and off but apart from one who was brilliant I've always felt I was paying too much hard earned cash for a washed floor and a swish around the bathroom ! Maybe I should look into it then the basics would be done I could tackle the rest. Ah DH is ok in his own way better at cooking & tsking the kids out tbh but not great at cleaning up or anything big like taking boxes into the attic seems to put him into a panic. I'm beyond tackling his hoarding issues though I just clear around him when I can . If we had any sort of shape on the house it would be easier -, average house & kids getting bigger is the main issue !
Cheeryname I would be the same good luck with op imagine that's what us working mums have to look forward to I'm living for September when a day off means a half day free for me at home to box up rubbish,
I used to work full time as a teacher.
In order to run the house DH and I used to have to get up at 5am to do housework before we went to work.
We would then do about another hour each in the evening and then a few hours each at the weekend. This enabled the house to tick over until the school holidays when I could do a deepclean.
I'm a single parent now but when H and I were still together I did everything, including ironing his shirts, while he got to sit down and play games on his stupid playstation. All on the grounds that he worked longer hours than me (he did, but not many more and he often chose to stay late to dodge parental duties), and he earned more than me.
We do about the same and one does not sit down to chill without the other - we finish jobs at the same time. All shopping is done on line as there is no way I could get to the shops too
My thing with the cleaner is, I'm paying £30 for not just clean floors and bathrooms, I'm paying it for stress-free time with my family. And mine cleans faster than I do so I'm buying more than 3 hours!
Totally agree with Jassy. Now I have no cleaner we have to use valuable family fun time to clean. I am in search if a replacement ASAP. I also had to take a few days off post op recently and used to clear out drawers and kids wardrobes etc!
Jassy hits the nail on the head. For dh and I, the question wasn't whether we could afford a cleaner, it was whether we could afford not to have one.
Family time is so importance - I don't want our dcs to remember growing up with parents who could never do stuff with them because housework needed doing. I'll happily go without haircuts and new clothes to facilitate that.
Both dh and I are FT. We dont have a cleaner, but we manage to stay on top of jobs (laundry dishes beds and floors) but the big sorting jobs do get put on the back burner. Its just part of life. Having a cleaner wouldnt improve us doing the big sorts and we do the odd little bit of housework as we go, so 15 mins here and there.
I work full time and am a single parent. I don't have a cleaner, I just have a good routine and am very organised (don't have much choice if I want a clean house).
I de-clutter regularly. Have very few ornaments/tat or things out on shelves or work surfaces that I have to move. Comfy house but quite minimal. My DS who is 9 does a few jobs too.
Friday evening - dark wash and clean the kitchen
Saturday morning - light wash and clean bedrooms and bathroom
Sunday - clean lounge and when DS is in bed, do the ironing. Always iron on a Sunday evening, so it doesn't build up.
Wednesday - Hoover whole house
I have a neighbour who does my garden for £10 a fortnight.
Routine doesn't work for everyone, but it's what keeps me sane and keeps my house nice and clean.
The problem I have is 2 very boisterous children who never sit still - so create mess as they go. (Both under 5). They help tidying but not for long. Washer on 5x week. Both do gym and swimming and older one does football every week too to try and tire them out ... Little time left !!
Lucyccfc your routine sounds good - how many hours do you put in ? This I need to know cos I'm so bad at housework that even 15 minutes is torture for me. I wish I found it therapeutic I seem to find it the opposite plus with small kids as soon as you pick something up they want to play with it !
As for affording a cleaner we genuinely can't I haven't had a haircut in 18 months at least ! And I never buy new clothes unless total bargain in charity shop. We have no clothes budget for ourselves. A cleaner would be about 25% our weekly grocery budget so doesn't make sense to me. My kids will have to remember a messy house ! If I could force myself to put in a few hours ev week though it would make a difference to my mental health
! Problem too that I'm relaxed about mess which of course adds to it. I was brought up in very neat tidy clean perfect home
See when you say clean the kitchen we probably have very different ideas what that means
I would rather keep my expensive highlights than have a cleaner, even if it means less time with the children. I am clearly a very bad mother.
Lol I need a haircut but I'm saving for a better sewing machine to make my christmas presents
I saw a lovely parenting diagram. It said there are happy children, sane parents and a clean house. You get to pick two.
I suspect that most people have all three most of the time.
I'm finding it absolutely impossible at the moment. I write in the evenings and been preparing for the launch of my novel. Hubby is working shifts. I have Wednesdays off work but want to focus on my little girl then. So the house is a tip and I'm desperate to get a cleaner.
But hubby is so tight, bless him, and has said he'd rather do ALL the cleaning than get a cleaner. So I told him we'd do a 4-week trial (yeah, I'm trialling my hubby as a cleaner, ha ha!). He's been useless. He has no time! So I'm going to fire him and get a proper cleaner.
One thing I do do that seems to keep downstairs tidy is while my little girl is eating her brekki (she feeds herself) I clean the kitchen etc. I sing etc to her so we're interacting and get her to help me by giving her a wipe to clean her highchair.
Jesus Christ, I've just read back my post. I sound like I have slaves, my hubby and daughter cleaning for me, ha ha!
I work FT. We can't afford a cleaner.
Biggest help is doing all the everyday stuff everyday - ie when I am waiting for the kettle to boil in the morning, I empty the dishwasher and put a wash on. Before bed we clean down in the kitchen, put away leftovers etc.
I use a lot of the Flylady tips (like swish and swipe) - clean the bathroom and put away washing when the DCs are in the bath. We are quite ruthless about clutter though we do still have some!
Hoovering and bed changing gets done at the weekend - Sunday morning we set a timer and all 4 of us (including the 2 4 year olds) clean. That way we can get the hoovering done, beds changed, floor wiped down etc.
It's not perfect, but it works.
We have cleaners come once a week but they don't really do a deep clean, which annoys me. However, both my DH and I don't sit down and eat our dinner until washing is put away, floor swept each night, bills/papers sorted, kids bags packed for tomorrow. Our kids are little still (3.6 and 14 months) and they create a lot of mess. Weekends are spent cooking (mostly me) and work to keep the yard in shape (my DH). We really get no downtime apart from 45-1 hour at night to eat dinner and watch some tv. We both get up quite early (me 5.15am and DH rarely after 6am). This just allows us to stay on top of things. I am a neat freak though and like everything to be ordered and tidy.
It's hard slog though. I often wish I didn't work full-time so I could get a chance to cook during the week so weekends weren't always so hectic. However, for us, it's worth the sacrifice to have both of us in full-time employment and the rewards that brings.
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