I know they fight and bicker, but they have taken manipulation to a new level. They know I dont want to punish the non-culpable child, so they both deny their own part in what has been going on, as well as coming up with so many stories I cant see right from wrong.
We flew out to Norway on Friday evening.
I am so tempted to send ds1 back to Britain on a flight tomorrow evening, so dh can take him to a camp and bring him back with him.
But, the repercussions are going to be too big. Ds2 will then be treated to quality time with me, while ds2 have to fly home alone and go to a camp he will not enjoy, so that is disproportionate.
But, I have no control over them. They dont do as they are told. They are putting pressure on for me to buy them things, and the are not doing stuff I am asking of them. Ds1 told me this morning that he would have cleaned up his clothes, if only I had done as HE asked me, and ordered him a new phone cover that he had tailored himself on a made to measure website. His words "All that would have been avoided if you had only done as I told you" 
They started fighting on the pavement outside the shopping center, because they got impatient when my phone rang. It was a friend, and I was trying to arrange for her eldest to meet up with mine. They were not listening to me saying stop it several times. Ds1 said "It would not have happened if you were quick on the phone or had gone straight to the car". It is as illegal to talk on the phone here as in Britain!
Yesterday I could not get them to bed until past midnight. They currently share a room, and they were faffing about, in and out of bed, and generally being a nuisance. I was so wound up by their behaviour that I did not manage to fall asleep until 2 am. Woke up this morning by ds1 screeching at ds2. He had woken him up by climbing down from the bunk bed.
On the airport, coming here, I let them buy some sweets. I told them they could not have it all in one go, but to make it last. All gone. They even polished off the Hotel Chocolat that were treats, behind my back.
It seems to me that they are punishing me, or letting me have consequences for not doing as they want. The phone call and the fighting, the clothes mess on the living room floor (ds1 had emptied out the suitcase to find his phone charger) and the phone cover.
We were also late to leave the house yesterday because I battled so long with them over tidying the clothes (which they did not do in the end) that we were too late to buy shoes for ds2 before closing time.
It is so frustrating. I dont know where I am going wrong. I try so hard to be fair, but they are playing me.
After the shenanigans yesterday I told them if they were playing up at bedtime again, ds1 would sleep on the sofa of my sisters top floor flat, and ds2 in the sofa of my dads flat on the ground floor.
We are currently staying on the lower ground floor.
Of course they played up, and I had to stick to it. 
I am a failure.
For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.
Parenting
I cannot cope with my children, and I am tempted to put my eldest on a flight back to Britain.
QuintessentiallyQS · 27/07/2014 22:22
I have just spoken to Dh.
We will either send them both North to the Wall! 
Catholic youth camp at the far north of Norway, with prayer, youth ministry, river fishing, kayaking and hill walking, or send the older one to dhs mum in Poland. Could do them both some good.
Aside from that, taking away things is difficult, as we are on holiday and it is only their phones. I have to give them back if we go out, in case we lose eachother.
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.