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For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Parenting

HELP advice please: just about to have child No2 HOW WILL I COPE!

15 replies

RoRoMummy · 13/09/2006 10:39

I'm five weeks off having my second child and I'm in a sudden panic about how you cope, like getting No1 to school on time with a newborn as well (dd1 is 4 and just started school). When I had dd1 we never left the house by 11.30 am for at least 6 months!!! Are there any GOOD practical books with tips on the subject? Did you just let baby No2 cry a lot!? I'm convinced this will be as bad a first time round, but for different reasons. HELP!

OP posts:

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sleepinbeauty · 13/09/2006 10:47

you will find that you manage to create a routine, and with your first child at school at least you will get lots of time alone with the new one. its really hard at first (see my post) but you do get used to it. hopefully your baby will be a good sleeper as thats where i have totally struggled with having a 2nd child..good luck!!

satine · 13/09/2006 10:52

I reckon it's a bit like trying to work out if you can afford to have children. On paper it looks like a nightmare and if you try to work out a routine in advance, you'll scare yourself into thinking that it can't be done but it will just happen. Honestly! The baby may have to be left to his/her own devices for a few minutes longer than your first baby ever was, but this is a good thing as they learn that crying doesn't equal mum straight away and often by the time you get to them, they've stopped! I used to lie awake at night wondering how I was ever going to manage but it was much easier than I had feared. You probably won't be as worried as you were with the first, anyway, so you won't react to every sound or movement!

SoupDragon · 13/09/2006 10:53

You just do

Although at first it's more surviving than coping I think.

mummydoc · 13/09/2006 10:57

I felt the same as had dd2 5 weeks into dd1 first term at school, but amazingly it all falls into place, i did have the first 2 weeks organised with DH and grandparents doing the school run, but after that it was ok, don't think about it too much or you will be in a dreadful state, can you DH get dd1 up and dressed in the morning while you get the baby ready to go ?? i also used to often have to pull car over on way home from school for a feed ! LOL at people driving /walking by wiht me sitting in back with boobs akimbo !!! enjoy being with your LO at home during hte day...

Sophiev73 · 13/09/2006 10:58

I felt just like you before ds2 was born in June, but was amazed the way things just fell into place like he'd always been there. Also, didn't find things so time-consuming / daunting second time round... You'll be fine. Tired, but fine.

cardy · 13/09/2006 10:58

I think the fact that dd1 is at school is a bonus. Once she is there you have the day with the new baby and can take it from there.

Personally I was a lot more relxed with dd2 and she just had to fit into our routine, it seemed to work for us. For me dd1 was only 2.5 and at home most days, that was the main difficulty - keeping dd1 entertained whilst feeding/changing etc dd2. My only advice would be take each day as it come and don't expect too much of yourself.

Sophiev73 · 13/09/2006 10:59

sorry mummydoc, seems we have echo, echo...

anniediv · 13/09/2006 11:01

Get everything ready for school the night before (including what you're going to wear) and don't worry about baby doing the schoolrun in their jimjams.

RoRoMummy · 13/09/2006 11:02

Thanks for this (feel a bit better...I think), it's going to be a particular challenge in the morning for two reasons: 1) dd1 will not be full time at school until Easter (so drop off 9am, collect 12 noon) and 2)I'm having a c/s, I have help for first 2/3 weeks, but then left to my own devices. I do not have any reliable help locally (my parents live to far away). Would any of you advise using the buggy for all daytime naps, so I can guarantee getting out of the house?

OP posts:

Kittypickle · 13/09/2006 11:03

I had a panic as DS was born exactly one week after DD started school and I had an emergency section. It is so different from the first time round and the baby sort of fits in somehow. I was lucky in that school was round the corner so I could stagger round but had a nightmare with all the different things that needed to go in different places in the classroom so I bought a sling which was a huge help. I was back doing the school run after a week and DD was always on time, so it wasn't too bad really.

Sophiev73 · 13/09/2006 11:04

Not sure about the buggy question but I had a c/s too and I was fine by 2 weeks to do as I'd done before - ds1 was 22 months and was able to pick him up etc despite being told I'd be bedridden! Driving fine too...

anniediv · 13/09/2006 11:05

RoRoMummy, I think napping in the buggy is fine, I now have 3 dds that will all sleep anywhere, because at first they had no option other than to fit in with all the other activities that family life entails!

PinkTulips · 13/09/2006 11:22

i've just had my second 6 weeks ago and was just as worried as you before he was born... even started a thread on it. amazingly though ds has simply fitted into our lives with no difficulty at all.

as a second timer i find i'm sooooooo much more relaxed about stuff its hilarious things that gave me a nervous breakdown with dd don't faze me at all this time (feeding too much/too little, sleeping too much/too little, etc)

there are times that you'll simply have to leave the new baby cry as you deal with the older child but you'll find that 9 times out of ten they've stopped by the time you get to them and are happily looking around or fast asleep!

and watching dd interact with ds is the most rewarding, beautiful thing i've ever seen, she inundates him with kisses and 'cuggles' and is constantly showing him her toys.

try not to spend the last few weeks of your pregnancy worrying (impossible i know!) i'm sure everything will work out just fine and even if it is difficult at first you'll be surprised how quickly you'll feel like you always had 2.

PetitFilou1 · 13/09/2006 12:48

You will cope - because you have to! I have a 19 month gap between mine so didn't have the school run to cope with but did have ds to get to nursery and other issues. I found dd did have to cry for longer than I would have left ds and it was heartrending but got much easier as she got older. I was much more relaxed about managing no2 and a bit more chilled out about her routine etc (although not entirely!) the difficult part for me was managing the different needs of the two of them but you do find ways to manage. Also, the likelihood is you will recover much faster from the labour and feel more confident generally. Good luck!

Reet · 13/09/2006 13:53

It takes some getting used to, but soon becomes habit, getting around etc. Second baby is easier than first because he/she has to fit in - and they have more to amuse them - watching older sibling and they have more company.

www.chilledparent.com

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