How do your children make friends?

[quesadillas]

Hi,

I've just realised that DS (18m nearly) has no friends. How have your children made friends? I had a bit of a difficult start to motherhood (slightly traumatic birth, depression, moving areas soon after) so never really got into the whole baby group thing. Now I work three days a week and often have so much to do the days I have off that toddler groups are impossible to go to regularly to get to know people. And it's mostly grandmothers there.

How did your toddlers make friends? I keep thinking he's really missing out, and it's sad to think that as things stand, he'll have no little friends at his next birthday party. Or am I just being silly?

[TortoiseUpATreeAgain]

It's perfectly normal not to have friends at 18m. At around 2 they'd be doing parallel play (starting to enjoy playing next to other children, but not really interacting while doing it), then around 2.5ish they start interacting more.

My older two were at full-time nursery so had "friends" there at 2yo or so, but they didn't really start to develop into proper friends (i.e. preferring some children to others and actively seeking their company) until they were nearer three.

Do you plan for him to go to nursery/preschool at any point? If so then I wouldn't worry at all; so long as he's getting some exposure to other children now he'll make friends soon enough once he's at the right age and gets consistent exposure to one group of children.

[tumbletumble]

I agree with Tortoise to some extent. It's normal for an 18m baby not to have 'friends'.

However, I do find it a bit sad that you say you often have so much to do the days I have off that toddler groups are impossible to go to regularly. Isn't the main point of working three days rather than full time so that you have time to do fun stuff with your child? Some toddler groups / music classes etc only last for 45 mins, and others last for two hours but with a drop-in system so you don't need to stay for the full slot. My DC loved them!

Sorry, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. Maybe you just aren't a baby group person, and that's fine. But just because they haven't worked well for you in the past doesn't mean they won't work for you and your DS now. Maybe worth having another look at what is available in your area?

[quesadillas]

You're right tumble, I need to try and make more of an effort with the baby groups. I'm not a natural mother though, and always feel a bit inadequate with other mums!

He's with a childminder three days a week, so I suppose he meets a few littlies there. Good to know it's normal not to have actual friends at his age though!