How do I get him to stay in his room?

[IDontWantToBuildASnowman]

My DS(2.5yrs) recently moved to a bed. The first 3 or 4 weeks were amazing with him going straight to sleep (sometimes singing to himself first) and staying in bed until we came to get him out in the morning. Then the penny dropped that he could get out and leave his room! Since then we have had 3+ weeks of rubbish bedtimes (the yoyo effect) which is annoying given we have lots to do after he is in bed, but I think just a matter of time before he gets back to just staying in there. The bigger problem is that he gets up (anything from 5.30am) and is clearly still tired, but not enough to overcome the urge to get up, leave the room and wake up us and his older sister. We have tried a gate on his door, but that just led to him making a whole load of noise (intentionally) and then beginning to dismantle his room bit by bit. He is getting more and more whiney during the days because he is not getting enough sleep. He does still have a daytime nap, but when he was in his cot he would have this nap (varies from 1-2hrs) and still sleep 12+hrs at night and that was only 6 or 7 weeks ago so I don't think his sleep needs have dropped off the charts that fast.

Any tips or words of wisdom/experience to keep me strong?

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

What worked for us was a Gro Clock and a reward system. Dd was waking at 5.40/5.45 so we set it for six and if she shouted at the gate, she would be put back tobed and told she would get a treat if she stayed in bed til the sun came up (on her clock).

Once she was hitting 6 reliably we changed the clock to 6.20. Repeated. Then 6.40, repeated. She now has it set to 7am. She does wake before this time but knows she isnt allowed to shout for us until 7. If she does, even if itis ten mins to seven, back to bed sje goes.

[IDontWantToBuildASnowman]

Thanks for that thinkivebeenhacked, so you mind me asking how old she was? We have tried rewards but think he may be just a bit young and his impulsiveness stops him being able to wait for the reward. I do like the idea of setting it earlier then moving it forward - at the moment the reward is pretty much never achieved so he isn't really understanding what he's missing by not getting it. Might give that a go. Thanks again.

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

She turned two in late December and we bought it in the January Sales (JL was the cheapest we found). Took a little while to get her to "get" it but we just stuck to it rigidly.

[RitaConnors]

Have you got black out curtains and/or blinds? That might help with the mornings if not.

Could you put a book by your bed for him to look at when he comes in. So let him in but he has to be quiet? Not ideal though.

[odyssey2001]

I second both blackout blinds and a Gro Clock. A perfect combination. Should work from about 2.5 onwards but be prepared for it to take a good few weeks to work. This won't happen overnight!

[Jaffakake]

We tried ds (now 2.11) with the cot side off about 6 months ago & after 3 weeks of battles canned the idea. Now, we're thinking about it again, but leaving it till potty training is all sorted.

He's dropped his nap since & currently flakes out in thirty seconds. Before the nap was gone, he took much longer to fall asleep. But ds dropped his nap, rather than us making the decision.

Oddly, after we tried the cot side off a load of our friends went "what on earth did you do that for? Leave it till they can't fit anymore!"

I don't think reward charts work till they're nearly 3, but give it a go. But tbh I'd say, there's nothing wrong in taking a step back, if you can.

[Misty9]

We took the cot bed bars off when ds was 22 months, for various reasons. We then had 6 months of hellish bedtimes. Sorry. He's now 2.10, in a different house, and mostly sleeps through with ok bedtimes.

What worked? Reward chart to tackle his night waking and coming into our bed, used for a couple of months from age 2.5 (until he started focusing too much on the rewards, after which we quietly forgot it) and most recently to tackle his increasingly early wake ups, the gro clock. The latter seemed to work overnight pretty much!

It's still a work in progress but it does pass, eventually!

[IDontWantToBuildASnowman]

thanks for all responses. He actually has a groclock (inherited from older sister who it worked perfect for) and blackout blinds and curtains! I suspect it's just age and temperament really. I totally planned to keep him in the cot as long as possible but several trips over the summer and him being too big for a travel cot meant we made the move sooner. I think dropping his nap will help a bit for sure, but soooo reluctant as that's the one quiet time in the day . We've tried giving him books etc, but he is very vocal and just wants to tell you everything he's seeing or ask us questions. Pleased to hear others had this problem and that it did eventually improve!

[Heartsandspades]

My DS is 2.5 and he goes through phases of getting up really early! We just go with it for a few days and then he goes back to normal. However normal is 6.30

[lighteningmcmama]

Following as I'd love to know the answer to this question! Might have to invest in a gro clock though I suspect that will not help my 2yo dd, though unless think it will help 4yo ds

[Littleoaktree]

Ds1 was a bit older (2.10) when he moved to a bed but what worked for him was the threat that if he got out of his bed/messed around he would be back in a 'baby's bed'. He loved his 'big boys bed' so much that although I did have to carry through on the threat a couple of times in the first couple of months (by putting him in the travel cot) as soon as he worked out I meant it then he stopped getting out of bed/messing around. He's now 5.2 and still pretty good at staying in his room in the morning. I intend to do the same with ds2 (2.4) but will leave it as long as possible before I put him in a bed.

[odyssey2001]

Just come back to this thread. If you already have a Gro Clock and blackout blinds my question is how do you tackle it once he gets out of bed.

If you are letting him stay out of his room the the Group Clock is pointless You must put him back in bed. Take the Supernanny approach. Be nice the first time "oh your sun isn't up yet, back to bed" and take him. Next time "back to bed please" and take him. Third should be firm, something like "back to be now". From then on, don't speak just take him.

Be prepared for screaming and multiple attempts to get him to stay. Sit outside the door to block his exit if you have to but don't lock him in / hold the door shut. This may disrupt you and siblings in the short term but it will pay off in the long run. Good luck.

[LastTango]

^^ odyssey is absolutely right in all she says. Stay strong !!

[Jaffakake]

We tried the above approach. Supernanny to the letter, but after 3 weeks there was little improvement. He ended up staying in his room, but trashing it & posting books under the door! One of the reasons we canned it was we were worried he'd start climbing up the bookcase!

He's a bit older now & a reward chart is paying off fir potty training.

Any other hints as to how, when we try it again, he'll stay in bed? Or is age often the deciding factor?

[IDontWantToBuildASnowman]

Thanks for the suggestions. Like the last poster my DS also starts being destructive and climbing, luckily I have a video monitor as one morning he appeared crawling along the top of his changer! ! We do take him back every time, but he thinks this is incredibly funny not remotely upsetting. We have been super consistent and I think he might be showing signs of getting it now. Pushing on and trying to remember it's just a phase. Thanks all xx