Alternatives to shouting

[Icouldstillbejoseph]

My DS (3) told me this morning that I was his best friend but when I shouted at him it "made him jump and feel scared".
Quite obviously I feel like utter shit now.
I don't shout hardly at all (I thought), maybe once a fortnight. Normally when he's hurt his sister (17 mo) or done something I've specifically asked him not to. Sometimes I feel like he won't listen unless I raise my voice.
He is normally v well behaved and grasps the naughty step concept well and barely goes on it now.
I just wondered if demonstrating that sometimes mummy has lost her temper is ok? I'm thinking it's not... What else do others do? I've tried counting to ten etc but when DD is hurt it makes me quite cross

[linadee26]

Sometimes I find going the opposite way helps. Getting down to your child's level and lowering your voice in pitch and volume means that your child really has to work to hear you. Also if you get down to your child's level you can use your facial expression to show that you are unhappy with their behaviour.

[bonzo77]

I'm a shouter. It's embarrassing and I'm not proud of it. But less shouty than I used to be. I shout for two reasons. 1. Child not listening. 2. I'm angry. 2 is a crop excuse. About my needs and loss of control, not the child's. I count to 3, roll my eyes and then deal like I do for not listening. If they're not listening I make them listen. Get to his level, or get him to mine, tell him to look at me. Speak to him calmly, demanding his full attention. Get him to repeat what I said back to me, then thank him for listening. And I try to do this before I get the opportunity to shout, so if I want him to do something or to listen, I make sure I have his attention.