How long was your maternity leave?

[Writerwannabe83]

Can I ask how long you took off after your DC was born?

I had planned to take a year off and for the first 8-9 months I would be on various amounts of maternity pay and then the plan was I'd take 8 weeks unpaid leave and then use my AL entitlement to cover the final few weeks.

We have been putting a set amount of money aside each month since I was about 5 months pregnant (and still are whilst my MP is still good) in order to cover the 8 weeks of unpaid leave I will need.

However, we've had to dip into this fund over the last month for various reasons and now it's looking like I will have to go back earlier than I thought, probably when DS is 9 months. I know it's only 3 months difference but it feels like a lot to me.

I'm worried about doing it at 9 months as have concerns about him getting upset at being separated from me? Has anyone else gone back at this stages and found it troublesome?

Do any of you wish you'd gone back to work later? Or even sooner?

[twolittleboysonetiredmum]

I'm right at the end of my maternity leave with ds2, after,having twelve months off. I only took 8 with ds1. I think I should have gone back at about 9 months really, we are very very skint and I'm constantly fretting about money (we're in the last three months unpaid) and my son has,developed quite,bad separation anxiety recently so I'm worried about leaving him. I had none of these worries with ds1 though did,feel he was a bit young at the time. Your,baby will be fine either way, but I reckon 9 months is a good age really. Sorry for random commas, stupid phone.

[ThinkIveBeenHacked]

Last baby: a weeks AL and a weeks ML before due date, born a couple of days late. Had seven months ML then a months AL and went back 1st Sept.

This baby: three weeks AL before edd. Nine months paid element starts on due date. Then a months AL tagged on the end to go back 1st Sept again (not a teacher its just coincidence!)

I was desperate to go back last time, however my job is full time shift work so I figured being off is preferable to doing that with two.

[workingtitle]

I'm about to finish mat leave. I was planning 10 months but it will be 11 as DS came early. I personally am glad to have this amount of time as I've had pnd and am only now starting to enjoy life with him.

However, he is in nursery for a day a week and has been since 7 months so I can stagger my return to work (he'll be in 4 days when I return properly). Is this something you could do? We're using savings to fund these last few months.

I guess I would say wait and see. You don't have to decide now. I just gave a rough idea and then have negotiated things as needed.

[neversleepagain]

The plan was 12 months but 21 months later I am still at home. Financially it made sense for us.

[MissCalamity]

42 weeks with DC1, 39 smp & 3 weeks holiday.
Managed to negotiate 10 hours less, which was 4 working shorter days. Could have maybe stretched to a year money wise, but I wanted to go back for my sanity!

Currently on maternity leave with DC2 & am taking 44 weeks, 2 weeks hols at the start, 3 weeks after smp ends. I just don't want to take extended unpaid mat leave, really need to watch my pennies this leave & am relying on bonuses to make sure I have enough money!

I thought DC1 coped well when I went back to work, he was at a childminder for 2 days & family for the other 2 days, doing the same this time round for DC2 as well

[livingzuid]

I have taken just over two months and go back mid August as I start a new job. My husband has stopped working and will be a stay at home dad. We couldn't afford financially for me to stay at home and as I earn more I go back. I am glad I have had this time at the beginning with her and will miss her dreadfully when I go back but both DH and I are very excited about it.

We looked at cost of childminders, nursery etc versus what we had coming in on my old salary and his combined and it didn't make sense money wise. I guess I took the line of looking at the practical situation over emotional wishes to stay with my baby - it was either go into debt or stay at home and in the long term that's not good for us as a family. Money stress would have ruined the pleasure of being with her.

It's what matters to you more if that makes sense? If you can make it work and economise elsewhere then take the time. If it will cause a problem long term with money and that would have an impact on you then it may be helpful to return early.

[rattlesnakes]

I started working 3 days a week when my daughter was about 9 months old. It was tricky at first, because I was breastfeeding and she had to get used to a bottle, but apart from that it was absolutely fine. By the time she got to 7 or 8 months, I felt that she'd had a good start and didn't necessarily need me around 24/7. I was also ready for a bit of variety!

[Jemimapuddlemuck]

Went back FT when DS was 6 months, that was really hard but he was with my DM so that helped a lot. With DD we were better placed financially, saved more during pregnancy and gave up one of the cars while I was off, so I took 11 months (six weeks of that was AL as it went across 2 leave years). DD was just under10 months. Much better as she didn't seem so tiny and helpless as DS had and I felt much more ready.

[mrsmugoo]

I'm going back in October - DS will be 7 months and I had a week off before he was born.

I won't be putting him in nursery until he's a year though - we'll muddle on through with grandparents and flexible working until then.

[Mrsgrumble]

Just under six months. It was fine. Needed the income and didn't see any point in putting it off.

[IShallCallYouSquishy]

Full 52 weeks with DD plus a load of leave on the end so she was about 14 months when I actually went back.

Will be doing exactly the same for DS (he's 18.5 weeks now)

[Jbck]

12 months both times.

[airplanesandsun]

6.5 months both times as needed the money. It was fine and both went to FT nursery and loved it

[Diamondsareagirls]

I will be going back when my DTs are 8 months old. Had to finish work at 32 weeks so had over a month off before they arrived. Will be just over 9 months in total. Mainly financial reasons for returning at this point.

[TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams]

7 months (6 fully paid mat leave plus annual leave) and 3 months (maternity allowance only), then 3 months part time then full-time. Got preg between jobs with DC2 so only had the state 128 a week - didn't stretch too far !!!

I think 9 months is about right actually especially if they can start a few hours/days a week with the new carer in the final month.
a) it gives them time to settle
b) it gives you some actual time to yourself to get a haircut, shop for work clothes that fit, read a book, stock up the freezer and figure out how you are going to manage life working with a small child.
c) you avoid the real separation anxiety phase
d) they are three months into being weaned and you are more comfortable leaving them when they'll eat a reasonable amount of puree'd veg especially if you've been BFing and they suddenly start a bottle strike at 6 months (v common) when you try to move them off the boob

I'm sorry that your mat leave is shorter than you would like. To be honest, there is no good time to do it - they all have their challenges whatever time you go back. There will be days where your child is visibly upset when you leave at any age, and you will always get a GREAT welcome when you come for pickup. It doesn't mean that they are miserable all day and pining for 6pm to come.

[splendide]

I was planning to go back at 12 months - do people think 9 is better for separation? DH is going to be looking after him so I'm hoping there shouldn't be too much trouble.

[GiantIsopod]

DD was 7mnths, DS was 4mnths. with DD (she went to nursery), I did find it was easier than some of my friends who had their DC in nursery a few months later, she adapted much quicker. When they become more mobile, they'll become more wary usually, I think that age was a good time for DD, although I'd love to be able to SAHM if I could afford to.

[Writerwannabe83]

Thanks everyone - nice to see so many varied replies.

I would also love to be a SAHM parent but only because I can't bear the thought of him being with someone else all day

[wonkylegs]

7 months - I was ready to go back then (emotionally & professionally) & it coincided with everyone starting back after the Christmas break so seemed a good time to start back.

[mrsmugoo]

I probably shouldn't admit this but I'm
actually quite looking forward to getting back to work. Maternity leave is ruining me. I swear one of these days I actually will play Foxy Bingo. FML.

[CityDweller]

I went back when DD was 8.5 mo (should have been 9 months, but little blighter was two weeks 'late').

I'm not sure if anyone has already said this upthread as I haven't read all the replies, but it's often easier to settle them in childcare at this age (9 months or so) than 1 yr+ as it's before the peak of separation anxiety. DD started going to her CM for the occasional day here and there when she was about 7.5 mo (almost like a v. gradual settling in). She then settled pretty quickly when she started going regularly when I went back to work. I was really ready and happy to be going back to work by 9 months. We organised things so DD was with CM 3 days a week, me 1 day and DH 1 day. That did, and continues to, work very well for all of us.

Things to factor in:

• I wanted to continue DD on breastmilk until she was 1. Expressing was a hassle, and required me to be v. organised. I'm glad I only had to do it for 3 months.
  
• Expect to lose work days due to your child being ill a lot when they start childcare. It's just par for the course. This really stressed me out as I hadn't factored it in.
  
• Trust your instinct on childcare! You'll know when you've found the right nursery/ cm/ nanny. I made a 'head' decision to go with our first cm and it just didn't work out, even though on paper it all seemed perfect. With our 2nd cm I went with my 'heart' and it was the best decision. DD and CM LOVE each other and it makes me so happy to know that.

[TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams]

I would echo CityDweller's advice. Returning to work when your childcare is sorted to your satisfaction and your child is happy is by far the easiest way to do it. The actual month is immaterial - advantages and disadvantages to both. Yes - you miss peak separation anxiety but you also get the joy of returning to work during the peak teething sleepless night period....

Using every last day of accrued leave before you return will crucify you for the inevitable illnesses, days off for vaccinations, chickenpox, etc that you will encounter and burn an awful lot of good will with your employer.

I'd say that you will need to hold 5 days of your annual leave back every year as contingency for your child's illnesses when they can't go to nursery or to a CM. Or even to cover a nanny's illness. An agency often won't send someone if it is contagious and to be frank - you will want to spend time at home when your child is ill because you will feel terrible leaving them [assuming you haven't gotten it too]

In my experience, the first winter (unless a winter baby, then the second winter) is also a period when they develop their immune system and it's just a continuous streaming nose and endless variations on the common cold for you to enjoy and share with colleagues. Keep some annual leave back if you can..