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Parenting

How much harder is it to have a third?

21 replies

CADS · 29/08/2006 12:45

Hi

DS is 2.5 years and DD is 9mnths.

We have been very broody and are concerning having a third but not sure whether to get on with it now. There are 21mnths between DS and DD and we are thinking of a similar age gap been DD and No. 3.

Am I mad? How much hard is it will 3? Please list your Pros and Cons?

Thanks

OP posts:
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tortoiseshell · 29/08/2006 12:48

We've got 3, although ds2 is only just coming up to 4 months. To be honest, so far, it isn't such a change as 1 to 2, and ds1 and dd are great at playing together. There are moments when I think I just can NOT cope, but on the whole I love having 3. The older 2 are fab at looking after little one too (they are just 5 and just3), and they spend hours singing to him and playing with him. If he cries they are invariably there before me, to try and cheer him up. But I've got bigger age gaps than you - 25 months between ds1 and dd, and then 33 months till ds2.

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coppertop · 29/08/2006 12:57

I found it much harder to go from 1 to 2 than I did from 2 to 3.

There is always something going on for dd(5mths) to look at and her brothers are always chattering away to her about something. She finds them very entertaining. We already have our own day-to-day routines and dd has fitted into those very easily.

The downside is when all 3 need you at exactly the same time and you find yourself performing an odd kind of 'triage' in deciding which need is the most urgent. Trips out can e trickier as family tickets always seem to be set up for 2 adults and 2 children.

There are nearly 3yrs between each of mine so the age is different to yours though.

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tortoiseshell · 29/08/2006 12:58

coppertop, just read your post, and then my garbage again, and your post is exactly what I meant to say!

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agalch · 29/08/2006 12:59

hi

I had 3 kids until very recently.I had dd1 when ds1 was 13 and ds2 was 9 and having a 3rd was easy peasy cos the boys were so much older and were a huge help.

Dd1 was 2 recently and dd2 is 4 weeks old today.
So didn't find it hard to have a 3rd but very tiring to have 2 close together,prob havn't helped at all.

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coppertop · 29/08/2006 13:02

LOL Tortoisehell. Your 3 sound pretty similar to mine. mine are 6, 3, and 5mths.

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ellenrose · 29/08/2006 15:30

Mine are 8, 4 and 7 mths so much bigger gaps but really didn't find it a struggle to add the newest. I echo earlier posts and the older ones provide constant entertainment but you do need to juggle slightly. Have never regretted it, would have more if my pelvis could stand it

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madness · 29/08/2006 15:44

have a 5 y ds, 3 y dd and a 5week old dd. DS and dd1 are continously fighting at the moment and I'm so tired I end up shouting as wel And then dd2 starts crying...But agree, especially ds is very good with his new sister.Maybe ask me in a few months time...

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blimey3 · 29/08/2006 22:16

Hi,
I have three with a 21 month gap between 1 & 2 and 17 months between 2 & 3 - so got pregnant when no. 2 was 8 months old.

I love having 3, but I think a bigger gap between 2 & 3 would have been easier tbh!

There seemed to be a big difference between having a 21 month old than a 17 month old - at 17mnths my 2nd was still very much a baby, so it was like having two babies with differing needs and so was hard work.

I'm 7 months into it now and no.2 is 2years old and vastly different, so much more able and so it's becoming a lot easier. So it's hard to say whether the 'age gap' is just hard to start with, but then great as they get older and are all close in age.

Definitely echo the view about pro = 1 & 2 provide entertainment for baby who thinks they're great
and con = 3 way split and guilt that you're spreading yourself thinly.

Bugger that, be mad and go for it! It's smashing having 3.....mostly!

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KathH · 29/08/2006 22:34

having 3 was a doddle - had no 4 after a gap of 6 years now that was hard work! Seriously tho, had no 3 when no 2 was 2 & 4 months & as my head was still in baby mode it was much, much easier than I thought it would be. Only downside is that when there was only dd1 & dd2 they had to stay friends as they had no one else to play with - when ds1 arrived there's always the option for full scale war between any 2 of them at any time as there's always someone else to play with. Yep & you'll never be able to get family tickets again with a 3rd child. Plus other people's reactions are so strange when you tell them no 3 is on the way - 1 & 2 are allowed to be planned but no 3 (& in my case 4) are always assumed to be accidents. When I told my boss I was pregnant for the 3rd time you could almost feel the sympathy coming off him in waves!

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magicfarawaytree · 29/08/2006 22:41

having three hasnt been hard - Having two was hard much harder.

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bubble99 · 29/08/2006 22:42

I'm just about to have number four. Three? Piece of P**s.

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niceglasses · 29/08/2006 22:44

I have ds1 5, ds2,4 and dd 2. I found the 1st six months with the third VERY hard - tied to the house feeding etc. But after the first year or so not so bad. Its just physically very tiring (but am old biddy). Hardest thing is being stretched so thin - feel they all don't get enough off my time - esp the eldest now he has books for schl etc. However, that said, 3 is a lovely number I think......

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KristinaM · 29/08/2006 22:45

Hi cads, hows it going?

I've found 3 much harder than 2. But then i had a large gap ( 4 1/4 years) followed by a small gap ( 18 months). Tho everyone says it will be easier when they are older...sigh...

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Jimjams2 · 29/08/2006 22:49

I've found having 3 very hard, but probably that has more to do with ds1 (severely autistic, nonverbal) than anything else. He's now 7 but requires constant 1:1 attention, unfortunately ds3 is a very lively/stroppy 19 month old and often its very diffictul to deal with both of them. Ds2 is luckily a sensible 4 year old - about to start shcool which will make life easier.

I expect things to get easier as ds3 gets older- I guess your dd woould be at over 18 months by the time number 3 was born (baby bit was easyish- its the mobile bit I've found hard because of supervision) and a failry sensible 3ish by the time number 3 was 18 months. Which should be do-able.

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dinny · 29/08/2006 22:53

oh, interesting thread, CADS. Against my wishs, mI find myself broody again. Really don't think I could handle having three, so interesting to read people's exp. If I did have another, think would ideally wait till ds (nearly 2) is at least at pre-school...

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tiredmumov3 · 31/08/2006 17:14

i had 3 under 5 youngest is now 8 months and we are considering 4 3 is easier than 2 defo

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foxtrot · 31/08/2006 18:08

No pros or cons cads, just lots of hard work but lots of fun too - three seemd 'right' to me. BTW mine are 13 months and 15 months apart!

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Distel · 31/08/2006 18:11

I have 3 and I always say that if I can do it, anyone can .

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jellyhead · 31/08/2006 18:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

muma3 · 31/08/2006 18:14

9, 5 and 15 months .

i find it really hard with 3 . much harder going from 2 -3 . easier going from 1-2 though , would love another 1 but thats where we stop

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AngelaChill · 01/09/2006 19:11

2 to 3 was nowhere near as much of a shock as 1 to 2 for me, but it does depend on personalities, my eldest would have prefered to be an only child so it's nice the younger two have each other to play with.

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