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Anyone gone cold turkey on BF 18 month old?

7 replies

croquet · 18/04/2014 11:23

I really can't see how we're going to stop unless I go completely cold turkey. It's impossible to drop feeds (I've tried). Has anyone done this please or got any tips?

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WeAllHaveWings · 18/04/2014 13:16

I stopped BF at 12 months (after ds started biting way too hard with his wee sharp teeth!!). He bit one time and it really really hurt/bled and I decided there and then to stop.

I was working ft, so only feeding in morning, evening and night and he was fine after a couple of days.

What's stopping you dropping feeds? It will be hard for a couple of days, but if you decide to stop then stop, don't go back or it will just be harder next time.

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TwirlyCat · 18/04/2014 13:16

How many feeds are you doing per day? If you go cold turkey you might run the risk of mastitis.

I've managed to get my 16mo down to one pre bed time feed by slowly replacing feeds with a yoghurt/fromage frais and a drink of water, and a bit of cbeebies as a distraction if needed. She does not ask for feeds in the day now. I would like to stop the bedtime feed too but not sure how as it is so part of the routine.

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croquet · 18/04/2014 13:49

We kind of have morning, nap and bedtime (sometimes with an extra one in the night).

In the past I've managed to distract her from all but bedtime (and nap is hard as she knows it's there and wants it to get to sleep but will nap with her dad in the pram). I also had night-weaned her but caved in a bit as she was teething and wouldn't settle.

She is iron willed and if she knows it's there will scream til it's given. To be honest she still pretty much feeds to sleep. She is obsessed and starts shouting 'milk' if she sees me naked.

It's not really working at bedtime any more and is creating tension and conflict. I feed her till v sleepy but she will not tolerate being unlatched until she is completely asleep. The end result is me ending every day with a massive toddler suckling for 30+ mins... It's got to a point where I don't like starting and ending the day like that any more.

I understand dropping feeds but the problem is really my DD's attitude to it. She sees it more and more as something to beg for the more I take it away. If I unlatch her as she's tired she goes CRAZY and screams 'MILK MILK' more and more loudly. It's turning into a funny thing I think where she feels it's a sign of me withdrawing and has to make an extra fuss to keep getting mummy's love if you see what I mean?

I don't mind her having the milk it's the comfort sucking doing my head in, but also I am sick of the whole thing.

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croquet · 18/04/2014 13:50

p.s. She only asks in the morning first thing and whenever she needs to go to sleep (i.e. nap and bed). I have tried to teach her but she can't understand going to sleep on her own without being fed/cuddled.

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Melonbreath · 18/04/2014 15:53

Did it on 14 month old dd. She was feeding every two hours a night as boobing was the only way she would go to sleep and biting me, exhausted and bleeding i jjust snapped one night and declared myself done.
It was surprisingly easy.
During the day I'd push her out in the pushchair for a nap, and my husband did bedtime for a few nights. We did get one sleepless night but by the third night she was sleeping through.
i can even put her down awake now and she sends herself to sleep.
She still likes to stick her hands down my top at every opportunity three months on.

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TwirlyCat · 18/04/2014 16:13

That sounds really tough. If she hasn't got one already could you work hard on introducing a comfort object (DD has a soft bear that cuddles with us when BF and has a squirt of BM on it). With my DD she sometimes falls asleep at the breast, but if not I unlatch but lie next to her cuddled up with her and bear until she sleeps (her cotbed is quite big!), presumably this doesn't work for your DD? It does sound tough if you have to feed for naps too, I would start with the naps and tough it out with the pram.

You have my sympathy as I feel like I am really ready to stop, and I only have the evening feed to deal with. In RL friends seem to have had babies that miraculously self wean at 13 months, I am jealous!

Have you looked at the breastfeeding section on here, people might have more ideas or tips with cold turkey.

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Skylerwh1te · 19/04/2014 17:30

I finally totally stopped at 18 mo, I was the only mum I knew still bf by then and was starting to feel embarrassed by it and annoyed at myself for caring too, but didn't stop before then because in really felt neither me not ds was quite ready. But by 17 mo I knew it was time, had been cutting them down and he seemed fine with it, ie still wanted it but could be distracted easily, and I was really fed up by then so keen to end it. In the end it was fine but only because dh took over nights to cut out that last tie as we often co slept. I moved to the spare room for a while and dh always cuddled him when he woke. He learned fast that was all he was getting with the bonus of still getting cuddles. Now he sleeps through all night in his own room every night! Worked like a charm, distract in the day and dh cuddles till forgets about it at night. Good luck! It felt like it was going to be much harder than it was, in the end it just took commitment. And that felt kinder too, get it done fast to avoid confusing him. But if course cut down nearly all other feeds first, so you don't get mastitis when you make that final break.

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