What do you do with a child who just doesn't want to do anything?

[skinnyamericano]

My DS (8) just doesn't seem to want to do anything....ever. He has started and given up so many hobbies, moans about having to get dressed and leave the house, and seemingly has no interests other than TV, computers and Lego (and winding up siblings).

I have booked a couple of things for him to do this Easter, which he wanted to do when I asked him, but when it comes to the day he refuses to go.

He is going for a sleepover at a friend's house tonight, which he has been really keen to do, but just announced this morning that he no longer wants to go. Some ridiculous excuse about his leg hurting.

Should I force him to do things or just accept the way he is? It's so frustrating.

[PenguinBear]

Is he your only child? If you've booked a day out for him and siblings then is either make him go so they don't miss out or drop him off at a friend's/ relative's house and then gush about how fantastic it was when you picked him up.

Does he do chores? If not, I'd give him some responsibility with the opportunity to earn money/Lego etc whatever wod engage him most.

Has he always been this way or is it something new? Might be worth a trip to the GP to check there's no underlying cause if this is a newish thing. If he was older is say typical teenager but 8 seems a bit young for that!

[Sunnydaysablazeinhope]

If money is involved he goes. Tough shit.

If he wants to cancel friends, he cancels and hears their disappointment. Not you to their mum.

Otherwise really it's up to him. I wouldn't worry about it. Computers never did bill gates any harm...

[BeaWheesht]

I would force him though maybe not to the sleepover as he might end up amusing trouble for the host and he might also genuinely be a bit worried about going.

Do you have a garden? I'd make him go out especially when te weathers nice. Do you limit time at TV etc? Kids do need downtime to veg out in the holidays but not constantly! We usually chill in the morning then get out and about.

[BeaWheesht]

Amusing = causing

[littleredsquirrel]

How much tv and computers do you allow?

We have banned the computer/wii for anything other than weekends and holidays and even then its 1 hour maximum each day. If you take those things away he will do something else (eventually)

[skinnyamericano]

Thanks for all of your answers.

I will have to force him to the sleepover as I couldn't cancel my friend, and I know he won't be naughty. The thing is he will enjoy it when he gets there!

Yes, we have others - they are the complete opposite, always wanting action!

He has always been this way, it just is so much more obvious during the holidays.

I think chores for pocket money and limiting screen time is the way forward. Thank you for your ideas!

[redtable2]

my 9 year old ds is like that. He would like to stay at home all the time. he also loves computers and lego and has never really enjoyed being outside. when we force him into the garden he reads or takes his lego even though we have loads of fun stuff out there! the only solution is to take him somewhere so he has to get on with it and then he is fine. I think he will always he a home boy though (hope so!!)