What do you HATE about being a parent? RANT AWAY

(66 Posts)
hlw20 Fri 04-Apr-14 15:22:59

So after my husband and i got married, we decided (yes WE decided) to try for a baby. After several months, we got lucky and 8 months ago i gave birth to a lovely lil boy and so we had our family. Most times are good and my husband is a doting father yet he complains MOST of the time. His sex drive is almost non existent now and he is always complaining about the lack of time since we had our lil one -YET I am the one that does most of the tasks but haven't reminded him that fact (yet!) Why didn't anyone tell me that when you have a baby, your husband turns into a complaining SOB that you just wanna bitch slap sometimes!!! Arrrrggghh

kotinka Fri 04-Apr-14 15:26:50

there is a special kind of tiredness that comes with having a baby, drives you nuts. I hated that bit.

blush I was the one doing the moaning, dunno how my h put up with me!

How old is your baby now?

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Fri 04-Apr-14 15:29:50

Not all husbands do to be fair
Maybe you should tell him not to be such a whiny arse? And tell him to contribute more and you might feel like sex a bit more often?

BertieBotts Fri 04-Apr-14 15:32:15

Some blokes are such arses about this. Rant away!

I hate the stickiness. It starts at about 9 months and seems to get steadily worse. It's starting to abate a bit at 5ish.

kotinka Fri 04-Apr-14 15:33:45

and not getting a hot cuppa for about 2 years grin

mawbroon Fri 04-Apr-14 15:37:00

I hate that there's no such thing as a holiday.

Same shit, different view hmm

kotinka Fri 04-Apr-14 15:40:43

sad yeah, I really miss my old drunken holidays with late nights and lie ins.

hlw20 Fri 04-Apr-14 15:44:37

It's his sex drive that has gone down. I wouldnt mind him being tired BUT but i get up during the nights, he gives him his breakfast and i do lunch and dinner and bath, night time bottle and bed. We both work and yes he does a few hours more than me (about 6) but he is tired!! Grrrrr. He just keeps complaining that his routine is messed up and he is so tired. Ffs. Yes i agree with the cuppa bit too! Lil one is 8 months now so i have only just gone back to work and husband looks after lil one until lunch but come on!!

Doodledumdums Fri 04-Apr-14 15:45:35

The constant feeling that you aren't doing a good enough job, and that you are a terrible mother. Oh and the guilt of leaving them all day to go to work when you know that all he actually wants is to be with you.

Well those are my hates anyway, but i've only got one 15 month old.

kotinka Fri 04-Apr-14 17:23:08

hlw it's not unheard of for men to get post natal depression. if he's overweight at all his sleep could be affected. both those things affect energy and see drive. I think your help needs to see a doctor.

alita7 Fri 04-Apr-14 17:43:26

I'm pregnant but not a parent yet, but dsd lives with us. I hate how dp barely ever tells her to do anything, so I have to, or nothing would get done. Even if I hint he doesn't get it... I worry I'll end up being the bad, naggy one. I have talked to him about it but it seems he just forgets or gets distracted as he said he'd try but nothing happened.
It's everything from get dressed to pick up your dirty clothes to don't talk with your mouth full.

He will support me though if she doesn't do as she's told, but he just won't tell her himself.

So I'm forever saying go shower, put your rubbish in the bin, wear a warmer coat, do your home work etc etc

BouncyBabe98 Fri 04-Apr-14 19:25:15

I hate being constantly cleaning my clothes which are nearly always covered in sick by the end of the day.

I miss me time sooooooooooooooooooo much.

BouncyBabe98 Fri 04-Apr-14 19:29:11

oh... and people nowadays trying to label any sign of not being a 'completely contented happy mummy who loves her baby sooooooooo much and couldn't want for anything else' as post natal depression!

Since when did being a mother mean you aren't allowed to have miserable days and moan without everyone suggesting you run to the DR!

ghostinthecanvas Fri 04-Apr-14 19:34:09

'Same shit, different view'

Spot on. grin

I hate having to be interested in the inane drivel specialised in by 9-14 year olds. Though I do do it because they talk about personal stuff too, so its important but oooft, 95% is guff.

DIYandEatCake Fri 04-Apr-14 19:36:19

That there's no such thing as sick leave. I've got a hideous virus at the moment that's had me in an itchy rash, a horrible sore throat, fever and aching joints - in the old days i'd have had a couple of days in bed reading magazines, nowadays it's non-stop looking after a 3yo and 4mo (who's waking every 1-2 hours at night as well). I have never ever felt so exhausted and run down.

whereisthewitch Fri 04-Apr-14 19:38:32

I miss weekend lie ins and lazy slobbing about. I hate kids tv and trying to entertain a toddler. .....but it can be all bad because I decided to have another which is due in 10 weeks smile

OP the competitive tiredness goes away after a while, hope your H starts pulling his weight soon!

Carlyrichards Fri 04-Apr-14 19:44:17

Being a packhorse. School run equals book bag, lunch bag, pe bag plus umbrella, cardigan coat etc. It drives me insane! Then there is the assorted tat treasures that they bring home from school!

petalsandstars Fri 04-Apr-14 19:47:59

The DCs have a cold, I have a cold but the moaning from DH as he has manflu and can't do anything with the DCs is pathetic.

Why is it that dads get to opt out but no matter what mum has to carry on. (I do call him on it- but he's still a grumpy git - and he can't cope if I am ill confused

Aboyandabunny Fri 04-Apr-14 20:06:48

Oh yes, Ghoston, the rubbish my 10 year old is 'into' and willingness to share the minutiae of his knowledge of it is mindnumbing. Like you I grin and bear it while inwardly screaming.

stressbucket1 Fri 04-Apr-14 20:07:57

I hate that I can never be ill on my own, as soon as I mention that I don't feel well DH immediately catches the illness through fear of having to take over while I go to bed.

And that a supermarket trip on my own feels like a treat

rockybalboa Fri 04-Apr-14 20:15:28

I hate having to say "DS1 go and get dressed for school" every 2 minutes for a 20 minute period becoming increasingly more fishwife-like with every repetition. I once drove him to nursery stark naked (him, not me!!) after a similar refusal and he soon improved. However he cycles to school so naked cycling might be step too far...

Odaat Fri 04-Apr-14 20:54:03

Having to say no 1090 times a day (approximately)

nirishma Fri 04-Apr-14 20:55:40

OP your husband's poor sex drive could be due to your general attitude towards him? I was very resentful of mine until I stopped nursing so it seems it was mostly my hormones (ie he wanted to stay out of my way as much as possible and I didn't know how to ask for help in a non bitchy way - vicious cycle I always felt like I was nagging him as he would just sit there moaning about being tired and playing stupid games on his phone even though I was the one getting up three times a night to nurse dd during her horrendous teething phase). It feels like you're a mum of two, doesn't it? I was also a hormonal bitch when I was pregnant so after a year and a half it can wear a man down!

We are back on track now. Especially after I left him with DD at 7 months to go to a conference (a one day event but I chose to take up the offer of a hotel room and welcome reception dinner the night before just to have a break from my family grin ). I think it helped him realise what looking after dd 24/7 for seven bloody months must have been like for his poor dw.
Even though he'd had to go to work the night I returned, he got up the next morning and made her a bottle and I stayed in bed! I didn't even ask him, he just did it! I couldn't believe it - finally, after 7 months of no lie in, I had two days in a row to get up and sort myself out without having to tend to dd first!

It is shocking what we put up with.

Other reason for low libido could be your weight as well. I've lost half a stone since stopping nursing (bitch hormones and water retention) and my dh is definitely finding me more attractive these days. Or else I just feel better about myself so I am not taking it out on him haha!

Sorry for mega post. My rant about being a parent (although he is better now) would be always getting yelled at when DH finally comes downstairs at 11am and I ask him to hold the baby for a second til I get a bite to eat and he gives me the filthiest most indignant look he can muster and says 'DO NOT ASK ME TO DO ANYTHING UNTIL I HAVE HAD MY COFFEE AND CIGARETTE. I'M NOT EVEN DRESSED FFS!'

WHAT??????!!! You are saying this to a woman who has to wipe shit off a baby's arse, make a bottle, feed her porridge and dress her whilst desperately trying not to pee her own pants. A woman who NEVER GETS A LIE IN OR GETS DRESSED BEFORE TENDING TO DD? AHHHHH

Ha I bet while I was at the conference he discovered that DD dictates when one is allowed to pee shit smoke, drink coffee and sleep grin

kotinka Fri 04-Apr-14 21:13:44

just saw the dreadful typo's in my post, sorry hlw20, hope you got the gist anyway, I was wondering if your partner might have some physical reason for being so tired, like sleep apnoea or a thyroid problem. It's definitely worth getting checked out.

DIYandEatCake yes the lack of options when sick is something that sends me ranty too!

Odaat Fri 04-Apr-14 21:14:16

I'm reay sorry nirishma but your husband sounds AWFUl :O

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