**sensitive topic warning** So angry!

(103 Posts)
NickysMam Wed 26-Mar-14 14:09:36

I have a 1 week old DD (who is the most beautiful baby in the world, I'm so in love) and her dad and his family are insisting, almost to the point of bullying me, into piercing her ears.

Not to offend those that have done it, but I don't like it AT ALL as it's purely for cosmetic reasons.

Every day I'm asked "When are you going to pierce her ears?"

Has anyone pierced their DD's ears? And if so, how old were they? they're hoping to pierce her ears next bloody week! I've told them to fuck off already but the phone calls are still coming.

Koothrapanties Wed 26-Mar-14 14:10:47

No. No way. Never.

Repeat, repeat, repeat.

HappyBungleBear Wed 26-Mar-14 14:12:49

Gosh... I'm not keen at all. I sort of think age 11/12 is OK - when they're able to be sensible and look after their ears themselves etc.
Is it for religious reasons... otherwise I wouldn't do it yet.

Kudzugirl Wed 26-Mar-14 14:13:41

I had mine done aged not very old at all and i still recall being held down. It was the cultural norm in the country where I grew up as expat and my family went along with it.

Please don't give in. She's her own little person and while as a parent you have to make all kinds of decisions on her behalf until she is capable and sometimes they involve having taking a stand against others.

If you are against it you need to say a firm 'No' and that you will not entertain any more requests and they are to stop.

Bluestocking Wed 26-Mar-14 14:13:42

How horrible. Just keep telling them you don't see any need to spoil perfection, and that there's no way on this earth you'll allow anyone to puncture holes in any part of your beautiful baby's perfect little body.

CandyKate Wed 26-Mar-14 14:13:50

No, I think it looks awful. I would stand your ground.

badidea Wed 26-Mar-14 14:14:34

Is it a cultural thing? I know a few countries (brazil is one I think) where baby girls get their ears pierced within weeks of birth as routine. Had you discussed this before your girl was born (that you were against it and wouldn't be doing it).

Ultimately, it's got nothing to do with your inlaws at all, I'd firmly tell them (so there is no doubt) that you will never be piercing her ears and if they don't like it tough, nagging at you every week isn't going to change anything. That way at least they know where you stand.

hoppinghare Wed 26-Mar-14 14:14:37

I would not be having that at all. Stand your ground. You wouldn't let them tatoo her. Having her ears pierced would hurt her (for a short while) and will be visible for life whether she lets the holes close up when she is older or not. There is also a small chance they could get infected. They can pierce their own babies ears. This is your baby.
Why do they want them pierced anyway?

HazleNutt Wed 26-Mar-14 14:14:52

Not their ears, it's up to your DD if and when she wants to get them pierced.

DumbPluck Wed 26-Mar-14 14:15:50

It looks horrible on little babies, very chavy imo

NickysMam Wed 26-Mar-14 14:20:55

badidea no it's not a cultural thing. This is purely cosmetic. "Oh she'll look cute" well that's just great isn't it?! I'll have two holes, a possible risk of infection and pain because it looks 'cute'

His mum called me an hour ago telling me that "It has to be done".

So angry.

Bluestocking Wed 26-Mar-14 14:22:19

How about just refusing to take their calls until they stop banging on about it?

His mum called me an hour ago telling me that "It has to be done". shock

HappyBungleBear Wed 26-Mar-14 14:24:59

If it's not a religious or cultural thing then please don't do it. Ear piercing doesn't look good on any children really - but on a baby it is really quite awful and probably very dangerous in terms them accidentally pulling them, catching them etc. You'd be giving yourself something else to worry about along with looking after a newborn. It'd tell his parents where to go. Sorry.

Goldmandra Wed 26-Mar-14 14:26:03

Will they take her and get it done without permission if they get the opportunity?

surromummy Wed 26-Mar-14 14:27:56

Id tell them in no uncertain terms NO and possibly also add to that that if anyone should look after your baby at any point and she were to come back to you with them pierced that you WILL take court action (or something along those lines)

Livvylongpants Wed 26-Mar-14 14:28:01

I wouldn't leave them alone with her, they sound the sort to do it without your permission

TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking Wed 26-Mar-14 14:28:48

I would refuse to speak to them until they got it into their heads you are not getting it done.

Badvoc Wed 26-Mar-14 14:30:03

No way.
Do not leave your dd with them unsupervised.
They sound unhinged.

TheProsAndConsOfHitchhiking Wed 26-Mar-14 14:30:27

I agree with surromummy. Tell them under no circumstances you will be getting it done and neither will any of them or You will take court action against them.

wrapsuperstar Wed 26-Mar-14 14:32:08

No, no, no.

I think it looks awful and more importantly, it is a cosmetic procedure performed on someone entirely too small to consent. All responsibility for aftercare would fall to you, too.

Quite apart from that, a newborn who is only a couple of weeks old is so tiny and fragile -- they won't even have been immunised yet! Why risk it?

Stand your ground with these completely irrational bullies, OP.

cowbiscuits Wed 26-Mar-14 14:33:02

Why do they want to do it? "Has to be done" Bloody hell. "Looks cute" No! It looks awful! It's a baby they're perfect as they are, they're not supposed to have piercings!

I just second what everyone else has said. You have to make it absolutely clear that you are totally against it and under no circumstances will you allow it.

Don't try and be nice about it. And don't leave her alone with them.

laregina Wed 26-Mar-14 14:33:05

His mum called me an hour ago telling me that "It has to be done"

Tell this horrible woman to fuck off and leave you and your baby alone. And tell the baby's dad (your partner/H?) to back you up or to fuck off with them.

<and breathe>

So it is not even cultural?!!

No way.

meditrina Wed 26-Mar-14 14:33:36

Oh good grief. If it was a strong cultural thing, I'd still think it was wrong but would have some sympathy about why it mattered to them.

I think that DC should only get their ears pierced when they ask for it, understand the procedure and its risks, and are likey to be able to self-care for the new holes.

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