If your DC broke something belonging to a friend, would you replace it?

(17 Posts)
nldm1 Sat 15-Mar-14 13:47:54

Like sunglasses or a necklace or whatever.
Just wondering what other people would do...?

AnimalsAreMyFriends Sat 15-Mar-14 13:48:52

Yes, I would either offer to get it mended, or replace the item.

Theyaremysunshine Sat 15-Mar-14 13:57:35

Yes of course. Anything less would be plain rude.

Beanymonster Sat 15-Mar-14 13:57:50

Depends what it is tbh, if it was their dc's toy and it was an accident probably a 'whoops' if they were messing around and broke an expensive vase I'd probably replace/ depending on their response maybe a box of chocs to say sorry.. I think a lot of it for me depends on how the person reacted

Eletheomel Sat 15-Mar-14 14:03:06

I would always offer to replace it, but if they said they didn't want me to, I'd leave it at that grin

BackforGood Sat 15-Mar-14 14:07:21

No - if it were out when children are playing, and it was an accident, then that's a shame, but it would be just that, an accident. Same as when other children have broken things at our house - it's a shame, but these things happen.

I'm presuming you don't mean deliberately vandalise?

nldm1 Sat 15-Mar-14 14:22:36

It just I had a pair of rayban sunglasses and a silver chain and in the course of one afternoon a couple of weeks ago, my friends two year old snapped the arm off my sunglasses and broke my chain.
It wasn't done malevolently, and my friend apologised for her daughter, but didn't offer to repair or replace. Anyway, I met up with friend and her daughter this morning and my friend has just bought herself a brand new pair of raybans!?
If my kids ever damage anything belonging to someone else, I always pay for a replacement or repair. I just didn't know if how I usually handle things or how my friend has handled things is the norm.
Sort of just want to reassure myself that I'm not a freak for being a little peed off...

eddielizzard Sat 15-Mar-14 14:23:46

i would offer to repair / replace. raybans are expensive!! but i probably wouldn't give them to a 2 year old to play with...

BackforGood Sat 15-Mar-14 14:25:56

But surely that's your responsibility for having expensive things around, and accessible when you have a 2yr old come to play....

Thumbwitch Sat 15-Mar-14 14:27:07

Apologies don't pay for repairs! If your friend had offered to pay, would you have accepted?

I would always offer to pay for any breakage clearly by my child, as in your circumstances. But I wouldn't push it if the owner said no.

I have to admit, because I'm a bit of a mean caaah, I'd be hoping her DD snaps her new Raybans in half now...

LittleBearPad Sat 15-Mar-14 14:27:34

No Back. It's the mothers responsibility to make sure her children don't break things not the OPs. She should have offered to repair or replace.

Vinomcstephens Sat 15-Mar-14 15:15:31

Your friend should have offered to pay for repair/replacement in my opinion. The fact she's bought herself a pair is neither here nor there.

Since she's not going to offer then I'm afraid you'll have to ask. At least then you'll know where you stand and if she refuses, up to you as to whether you live with simmering resentment or if you can chalk it up to part of life's rich tapestry and move on smile

nldm1 Sat 15-Mar-14 16:56:42

I didn't give her my sunglasses to play with! Goodness! Who would do that? We were out having a coffee and my sunglasses were on my head. My friends daughter grabbed hold of them and before I could get them back off her, she wrenched the arm off.
With my friend buying herself some raybans, the reason this bugged me is because I assumed that maybe she was stapped for cash and that's why she didn't offer to repair or replace. Turned out not to be the case...
The chain was broken when my friend asked me to put her daughter in her carseat (friend is heavily pregnant and finds this difficult). The little girl grabbed my chain and yanked while I was busy strapping her in.
I have two children myself who I've taught to be respectful of other peoples property and unfortunately, sometimes accidents happen, but I don't really see why I should have to go out without my sunglasses or not wear any jewellery when I'm going to be around other peoples kids!
Honeslty, I'm probably going to chalk this one up as a lesson to keep out of arms reach of my friends child, but thanks for the comments. It's good to know I'm not the only one who would repair or replace if my child was to blame.

ikeaismylocal Sat 15-Mar-14 18:30:52

I wouldn't offer to pay if my child had broken something on the other person whilst they were holding them/looking after them.

If it was an older child who had maliciously broken something I would offer to play or if I let my toddler run around without supervision and they broke something I would offer to pay.

I think you should be able to fend off a 2 year old yourself.

nldm1 Sat 15-Mar-14 20:08:09

Fend off? You make her sound like a wild animal that I should be beating down to show my dominance!
I liked my sungalsses and chain, but I'm not the sort to hurt a child, and that's what this would have involved.
Personally, I'll be sticking to my own view of my children are my responsibility. Even when others are looking after or holding them, they and I, as their parent, should be held accountable for their actions, not the person who I have asked to care for them.

ikeaismylocal Sat 15-Mar-14 20:35:43

I wouldn't allow a 2 year old near something breakable and delicate. If that ment not holding them then I wouldn't hold them but if I had expensive sunglasses/jewelry I would just take them off and put them in my bag.

I imagine your friends 2 year old is like an average 2 year old. I don't think you can expect 2 year olds to know to be gentle with expensive items. That is why you don't give them access to expensive items to play with.

nldm1 Sat 15-Mar-14 20:55:12

I don't really think it's realistic to wrap the world in cotton wool for the sake of children. It's certainly not to their benefit.
I taught my children to be careful and gentle from an early age. I feel it's an important aspect of living in a world with other people, where not everything revolves around them. If ever they have not been careful and gentle, they are told off and as their mum, I see it as my responsibility to set right any wrongs. The effects of my kids actions aren't another persons responsibility.
Sadly, another aspect of living in a world with other people is learning that sometimes your things won't be handled with such care and that other people have limits in regards to what extent they are responsible for their own children...
I think you'd get on swimmingly with my friend, but I'm afraid I just don't agree with you.

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