thought nursery were great but...

[duzzlightyearsmum]

So I loved my DS nursery the staff are lovely and he seems happy. But today we have taken his folder home to review before he changes room and I've just looked through and his 'report' is worrying me slightly! They highlight what he can do on the EYFS but there are massive gaps in my opinion! There are loads of things I am fully aware DS can do and does constantly that have not been highlighted. For instance DS is potty trained fully day and now night but his report does not highlight the bit about asking to use the potty or toilet :/ it also misses out things to do with his communication and making relationships. I don't want to be 'that mum' but DS has always been advanced and health visitors have told me he has the communication of a 3 year old (he will be 2 in 3 weeks) and this has constantly been reinforced by others and the fact he never stops talking but his nursery report does not reflect this even slightly. Confused!!!! Should I say something?! Or am I being silly and it doesn't matter?! I'm just worried now that either he's not very happy there and so isn't behaving like normal or that they aren't paying enough attention to him to know him very well?!?!

TIA xxx

[StealthPolarBear]

I honesty don't think it matters

[Juno77]

Sorry.. I think you are being silly and pfb.

[Beehatch]

When was the last time you had to provide a nursery report for a job interview?

[callamia]

It matters if he has difficulties or significant delays. If all is well, then it doesn't matter at all.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

I'd rather they played with the child than pissed about ticking boxes.

As long as any concerns are highlighted and oarebts informed then I wouldn't worry.

[CalamitouslyWrong]

They just note the things they've observed (often in formal observations). It's bit supposed to be a record of everything your child can do. Nor does something not being marked mean that they don't think your child can do something. It's simply what they've seen evidence of.

Also remember that children behave differently at nursery. At home they might chat away constantly, but in the completely different environment of the nursery he might be quieter. That doesn't at all means he's not happy there, just that it's not the same as at home/out and about with you.

[happystory]

How long has he been attending and for how many days a week? As an early years worker in a past life I would actually be having a chat about this. They can only add in what they observe and should be having a chat with you about any gaps as you of course now him best. As others have said, it doesn't matter if you have no concerns, but I do question the skills of his key person if they already know him well.

[Only1scoop]

You say "staff are lovely and he seems happy" surely that's the must important factor as he isn't even two yet.

[Only1scoop]

'Most'

[Hanginggardenofboobylon]

The reports tend to be an acknowledgement that the child can do the things listed in the EY curriculum for that age group. It's not an individual report about everything your child can do. If you are happy with your child's development then stop fretting!

[Mumof3xx]

They can only put down what they see

Ask for a meeting with the key person

[MichaelFinnigan]

Genuine Q, I've seen this a few times recently and wondered, why are 1, 2 and 3 year olds still seeing health visitors? I've not seen one since any of my children were about 4 months old

Op, I wouldn't worry, I don't think the idea of nursery reports is to list their every capability. More to identify areas that need extra attention

[Mumof3xx]

You now get a check between I think 8 and 3 months

And a 2 year review check

I don't know about 3 year olds though unless there are concerns

[Mumof3xx]

8 and 12 even

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Not everywhere does the two yr check.

It's a check list you post off now.

[TheNightIsDark]

Nursery can do 2 year check now.

You sound very pfb. He's happy. Leave him be.

[Mumof3xx]

Nursery don't do the two year check as such, they can provide a report which you take to your two year check

[ilovepowerhoop]

they normally have checks/immunisations at various points. I took ds (when he was 3) to the hv when I had concerns about speech and he was referred for speech therapy. I took dd (when she was 18 months) to the hv when she had a squint and she got referred to an orthoptist and got glasses (still wears them age 10).

[Eletheomel]

Is it maybe just the case someone has sat down with a pile of forms to fill in and done a cursory tick, tick, tick to get the task done?

Doesn't mean they don't know him or he's not thriving (you mention that you're happy with him there, so he's clearly happy and you've not noticed any backwards regression with his potty training or communication, you just seem a bit miffed they're not singing his praises like you want them to?).

I just think these forms, while good in theory, may well just be viewed as boring paperwork and it will be the verbal feedback you get from the nursery when you pick him up that will give you a better idea of how your child is doing there and how well the nursery is doing for him.

I think you might be in danger of being 'that mum' but at least you recognise it :-)

[LadyInDisguise]

My question to you would be:
Are you in any way worried about his behaviour at the nursery (different from what you see at home) or do you think that the nursery hasn't done their job properly?

If the first then go and have a word with them.
If the second, imho, the fact they haven't filled the sheet as completely as they possibly could have done, missing parts of it, wouldn't be my main concern. If he is developing well, is happy and well looked after, challenged etc... then I wouldn't bit the least worried about a 'report' that wasn't complete.
I mean it's not like a school report that don't say anything anyway or a developmental review done by a paediatrician. It's there to give you an idea of what is going as well as you though, better than you thought or perhaps not as well as you thought. but I would never use them as an accurate description of how my dc is doing iyswim.

[ChippingInWadesIn]

I loved my DS nursery the staff are lovely and he seems happy

It must have been a bit of a shock to see the paperwork not reflect DS in anyway and I can understand you being a bit concerned that maybe they aren't paying enough attention to DS. However if he is happy there and the staff seem lovely I'd hope/assume it just means they are busier engaging with the children than filling in absolutely pointless paperwork.

Why not arrange a meeting with them and talk to them about it.

[KatoPotato]

I was a little like this when DS started nursery too. Somewhat embarrassingly I suppose I was looking for them to be doing backflips about the fact he could read etc... I get mostly reports about his naughty behaviour with the water table!

I know he's marvellous, you know your DS is marvellous, but expecting the rest of the wide world to acknowledge this on a regular basis is frankly just not going to happen.

Be content he's happy to go, I went through weeks of sobbing and 'I wish it was Saturday! Please don't make go there!!'

[notso]

Children often behave differently at home. He may not communicate as well in the nursery. I have worked with children who barely speak at nursery and their parents are amazed as the never stop at home.
It is rare for a child to be very emotionally advanced for their age even if they are in other areas. Nursery is still a different environment for an under 2 regardless of development.
I'm not sure what these reports are for as I am a SAHM, and when I worked in day nurseries we didn't have them.

[Jess03]

I must be pfb, I moved dd as they hadn't even noticed she always uses her left hand. It was a good idea, the end of term reports at her new nursery are spot on. I think you need piece of mind the potty training is a big thing to miss.