Checking on 3 year olds before you go to bed.

(151 Posts)
Bedsheets4knickers Mon 20-Jan-14 20:57:04

In the wake of the tragic case of Mikaeel Kular. Before he was found so many people were saying. "Why did the mother not check on him before she went to bed"
My son is 3 I don't check on him before I go to bed.
Should I be doing so???
It's really knocked me that so many people were so shocked and I've never given it a second thought.
Out daughter is still on a baby monitor she's 1.
I feel like I've neglected him.
Do you all check on your kids before you go to bed.??
What age should I be doing this until??

Thurlow Wed 22-Jan-14 09:42:22

I do check, and I like a quick hairstroke and tuck in as others do, but DD(2) is a bit of a weirdo and the moment I touch her she starts saying "no, noooo, noooo!" in case I might be moving her. Loves her bed, does that one. Makes it a slightly less charming moment though!

ProfPlumSpeaking Wed 22-Jan-14 07:56:15

Pacific yes, I was joking smile The reality is I am lucky to get a text twice a week! But I still feel the emotional tug...

Beamur Tue 21-Jan-14 23:35:47

DP only stopped checking on the older kids once their bedtime was later than ours grin

oohdaddypig Tue 21-Jan-14 22:40:12

I know this thread was started on the back of a tragedy. But the actual content of it has really moved me.

Just all these mums tucking in our (big) little ones each night. It's my favourite time of day too. There is the smell of your child's sleepy head and their delicious warmth.

I wouldn't judge someone who didnt check though I am a bit neurotic

Elizadoesdolittle Tue 21-Jan-14 22:40:03

I mean DD2 is on a video monitor. I don't see DD1 until she comes out of her room in the morning.

perplexedpirate Tue 21-Jan-14 22:39:52

Yep. He's 6, but I'll do it til he leaves home.

Elizadoesdolittle Tue 21-Jan-14 22:38:29

I don't check mine. DD1 is just turned 4 and DD2 is 1. I'm the same as you op. DD1 is on a video monitor which is switched on until I go to bed but I don't look at it/in on her until the morning. I do check in on them if they are ill but otherwise I leave them be.

tombakerscarf Tue 21-Jan-14 22:34:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Oh, to be fair, I don't check (and am now wondering if there's something wrong with me that I don't stand dewey eyed in DS' bedroom staring at him?!) but I would have him in the room, possibly the bed with me if I could. I'd love to be in that book "The biggest bed in the world" grin We shared a room with him on holiday and apart from the farts it was lovely. DH hated it. Meanie grin

flatmum Tue 21-Jan-14 22:31:23

We check all ours, 9, 6, 3. It's partly for our own enjoyment - they are so cute and snugly when asleep. But also to check they're not too hot or too cold - they seem to sleep longer to the weekend when optimal temperature! Also though for safety - I have an irrational worry about strangulation and they always have a load of toys in bed with them.

Linnet Tue 21-Jan-14 22:30:59

I check on mine and they are 9 and 16.
Although sometimes my 16 year old checks on me as if I'm really tired I'll go to bed before her, then she likes to come in and annoy me on her way to bed.

mydadsdaughter Tue 21-Jan-14 22:29:58

I check on mine, usually have to turn reading lights off and/or remove books fallen out of sleeping hands, oh yea and to land a stealth kiss on my DS2 who always wipes my kisses away when he's awake so "they don't count"

nevergoogle Tue 21-Jan-14 22:28:41

It's all I can do to stop myself climbing into bed with DS2 (5) for a sneaky cuddle. Luckily DH also checks on them so can wake me up to tell me to get to my own bed. I also check on them when i get up for a wee during the night.

GlitzAndGiggles Tue 21-Jan-14 22:24:25

I've always checked on my dd she's nearly 3. Mainly to make sure she's got her covers on and still breathing and to see what quiet means!

Good grief, ProfPlum, you gave me a fright with the first part of your post shock. Until I realised you were joking...

You are joking, aren't you?? wink

I wonder how many people who don't check also don't post on this thread grin.

ThatWasThat Tue 21-Jan-14 22:19:30

Everyday until adulthood.

Sunflower6 Tue 21-Jan-14 22:13:22

Mine are 8 and 13 and I check on them just before I go to bed and like pickles 79 I always will,

silkknickers Tue 21-Jan-14 22:09:33

mine are 7 and 10. checking them is the last thing I do on my way to bed.
I check to make sure they're not ill; it has never crossed my mind that they wouldn't be there.

cariadmawr Tue 21-Jan-14 22:06:04

Check both mine even at 20 still stick my head in and say night love you to ds1 . Ds2 who's 8 kicks all bedding off so we all go into him even ds1 girlfriend to put covers over him . I love to watch my boys sleep grow up fast

ProfPlumSpeaking Tue 21-Jan-14 22:04:07

i insist my DD has skype on all night so I can check on her at bedtime for she is a student in a far away town.

No, alright, I don't really but I probably would if it were remotely acceptable grin.

I always check on mine before I go to bed, they're 10 and 7. We still use a baby monitor too as they're on the top floor and we sleep on the second floor.

Only1scoop Tue 21-Jan-14 21:47:08

Dd 3.5 always check on her before bed and during night when I nip to loo. Think I always will.

SoonToBeSix Tue 21-Jan-14 21:46:04

Yes I check mine, youngest is 17 months oldest is 15 years smile

Picturesinthefirelight Tue 21-Jan-14 21:45:05

I never check on mine unless they are ill. They are light sleepers. & disturb if I open the door.

I always look at my two (10yo and 5yo) on my way to bed. Not because I especially feel the need to "check" on them, more because they are so gorgeously tousled and innocent which makes a nice change from the screaming fighting horrors that they can be when awake.

I adjust their duvets, stroke their foreheads and whisper night night.

There have been several times when I've found one or other of them to be running a temperature as I stroke their forehead - which I can then monitor more closely if I need to.

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