How did you decide to stop at 2 children?

(56 Posts)
emmyloo2 Tue 14-Jan-14 04:22:11

I have a DS who is 3.2 and an 8 month old daughter. I really struggled with the first few years of DS's life adjusting to motherhood. I was really anxious before DD was born as I dreaded going back to the baby stage. It has actually been better than I expected although I am still looking forward to her getting to DS's life and us starting to get some semblance of a life back. What I struggle with, is why would you have a third baby which would then set you back again, back to the baby stage and another few years back from getting your life back (sort of). I had this second baby and swore black and blue I would never ever have another baby. My DH is an amazing father and he would give his right arm to have a third. Amazingly I am finding creeping little thoughts entering my head about having a third. My head and gut tell me it would be a very very silly thing to do. I am only just seeing a light at the end of the tunnel now with the first two (and it's a very very distant light) and I don't cope well with babies all. Pregnancy I don't mind at all - babies, not so much. I love my children but I work full-time and I love my job. Deep down, I know I should not have a third child but there is just this little niggle which has started.

So really my question is - how did you know you wanted to stop at two? Or conversely, why did you decide to have a third? I would love to know people's thinking!

Thanks!

GoshAnneGorilla Thu 16-Jan-14 03:10:54

I'm just about to have dd2. I'm pretty sure this is it for us. It's taken over 2 years to conceive and I don't love being pregnant that much.

Dd1 is nearly 5, she's been very easy going, so I think in some ways that will make going from 1 -2 even harder, so I really don't think I fancy going from 2 -3.

I think DH is keener on the idea of having a bigger family, but I don't want to go through years of ttc-ing, particularly as I'm 34 this year anyway. I just want to enjoy the family that (all being well) we have.

peppajay Thu 16-Jan-14 10:28:57

We have a DD of 7 and a son aged 5 both at school and I have my life back I couldn't and wouldn't want to go all the way back to the beginning again. However if I had 2 children if the same sex I may feel differently. Both our kids were conceived so easily that my DH and I came to the decision that to stop any accidents happening a vasectomy was the best option. I know so many people who have fallen pregnant with an accidental third and put a real strain on the family. When I first married my DH I wanted 4 then reality hit and I realised how hard work it is and we also have no family close or willing to help so rarely get a break. Some friends of ours are in a horrible situation st the mo as she is desperate for a third child but her DH doesn't want one she is using the pressuring technique and sending him 100 texts a day until he finally agreed. My DH went out for a drink with him last night as he is really stressed and says he had to agree because the constant nagging was doing him in . I saw my friend this morning and she is over the moon with his agreeance and is looking forward to getting down to it tonight but her hub told my hub that this will damage the marriage hugely as he has been forced into doing something he doesn't want!! I think if you both want a third then go for it but it has to be a joint decision!!

mrshunkermunker Thu 16-Jan-14 21:46:51

The most helpful advice I 've heard was that you don't know how many is enough until you have one too many. Which is scary. But not scary enough to stop me having my third...

JewelFairies Thu 16-Jan-14 21:51:27

Easy. Too old, too poor, too knackered and didn't want to be outnumbered. I've got two and the younger one is almost 4. I am incredibly lucky to have them at all but still felt broody. Now the youngest is due to start school this year (eek) it seems an awful hassle to start again. So in our case time has healed the broodyness.

BabyMummy29 Thu 16-Jan-14 21:59:27

The ones I really can't understand are when there are two kids of maybe 8 and 6 and then parents have another one. This has happened to quite a few people I know.

Why on earth would you want to go back to sleepless nights, prams, nappies etc etc just when you've got clear of it all?

minipie Thu 16-Jan-14 23:00:40

Probably because they forgot what it was really like.....

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