Giving baby water

(93 Posts)
Bankholidaybaby Thu 05-Dec-13 22:47:34

I've been advised to give my 14-week old son cooled, boiled water, but I'm not sure how much, how often and how to prepare it. Should I just boil our hard tap water in my scale-ridden kettle and put that in a bottle, or would you suggest mineral/distilled/filtered water, a separate kettle etc.?

Thanks for any opinions/information.

ilovesmurfs Fri 06-Dec-13 19:34:46

God no dont t a rusk in a bottle! Its a choking risk for a start!

At eight weeks she is not old enough to be weaned.

Bankholidaybaby Fri 06-Dec-13 19:41:25

Yes, I use a dummy to help him to sleep. A typical cycle until recently was: feed until he doesn't seem to want any more, wind, play, nap with dummy. He's had weeks when I could put him down for naps and he'd wake every 3-4 hours, and weeks when he hasn't tolerated being put down and I've had to hold/carry him and put him down at roughly the time I expect him to be hungry to provoke a request for food. We're in one of the carry/hold periods now. I was fine with him eating a bit more than the doctor recommended, because it was still within the 150-200ml per kg per day, just on the upper end. Now he's suddenly taking heaps and doesn't seem satisfied afterwards. My husband keeps telling me I'm making him fat and he'll be porky when he's older. When he was tiny (and no longer being tube fed), and until he was about 8 weeks, I had to wake him for every single feed, and for a long time, it was a massive battle to keep him awake to eat at all. I was, following nurses' advice, sticking my nipple/a teat in his face and begging him to suck. I'd keep going until he'd gone for 'long enough' or had 'enough' from the bottle and now I think I may have caused him to get too big, too fast and to not know when to stop sad I'm really confused and upset. I just wish breastfeeding had worked as then he would have just taken what he wanted without all this angst (and the flipping bottle washing and all the rest of it). Oh I've gone and got myself all weepy. I don't know what to do.

yellowsnownoteatwillyou Fri 06-Dec-13 19:43:30

Can I ask a stupid question why are people saying they want babies to go longer than 3/4 hrs between feeds. My ds eats every 3 hrs like clock work and has done from 12 weeks, he's 20 weeks now, that's what he wants to do, so i let him.
why are people trying to stretch it and filling babies up with water, I really don't understand this.

bundaberg Fri 06-Dec-13 19:45:54

oh don't cry sad it's hard work knowing what to do for babies and children sometimes.

have you seen what happens if you don't put him down to provoke a food request? i mean, just carry him and let him naturally ask?

Bankholidaybaby Fri 06-Dec-13 19:49:19

I haven't got much idea what he wants to do because he won't settle long enough at the moment in his basket or carrycot for him to wake up and ask for food iyswim, and he doesn't wake to eat when he's being held. I try to stretch him out to 4 hours if he had an amount at the last feed which should see him that long. If I fed him every three hours, he'd still take the same amount (I've tried this, as well as every 2.5 hours).

yellowsnownoteatwillyou Fri 06-Dec-13 19:58:17

Ok, fair enough at 14 weeks my ds did the same as he does now bar having slightly more milk, he had bottles of 150 mls had 3 naps a day which last 45 mins and went to bed at 7, woke up once in the night for a full bottle went back to sleep and then started the same thing again the next day.
Is he constantly crying and mouthing for food?

Teaandflapjacks Fri 06-Dec-13 19:59:53

I will hopefully re-assure you. Mine is 15 weeks on sunday - a girl. My husband is 6ft 4. I am a foot shorter grin my baby was 2 weeks overdue and 8 1/2 lbs at birth, and 52 cm. Now she is 66cm and between 7-8 kilo (roughly, I stood on the scale then picked her up so its not an exact science). Anyway, I live in germany and over here the advice is the following:-

DO give babies tea/cooled water, sometimes they are just thirsty. I know this is true with my daughter as sometimes I go to give her milk, she makes a right fuss, is offered cooled, very weak fennel tea (helps her tummy) and she loves that.

Babies are weaned at 16 weeks on here - if you want to that is.

There is NO SUCH THING as a FAT BABY - I was told this repeatedly by every health professional I have come across since mine is a very hungry little thing. I tried to go onto a 4 hour routine and it nearly killed me. Now she has what she wants, when she wants. Sometimes that is 100ml, sometimes its 200ml, although since weaning with rice then now less....

We have started weaning - with baby rice, and a bit of fruit puree like apple, and formula. She loves this - we did this under medical advice here, as she started to want over 200mls sometimes and would cry desperately for it. I was worried its too much for het in one go. She is genuinely much happier on this baby rice, formula and a bit of fruit combo. She has this twice a day now - roughly midday, roughly tea time. She has milk in the morning, mid morning, afternoon and last bottle before bed. She very occasionally wakes for some - maybe once a week at 4am - I think its more her nappy has bothered her and she wants a bit of mil to get back to sleep then. The latest research says weaning before 6 months is actually better. Some babies aren't ready I know - but mine is happier on this, and her bottle intake has dropped right down - she never wants more than 150ml now TBH. As food for thought, as it were, mine is already cutting her first tooth, like my husband did early too. This leads me to think that her body is just at that stage.

A final thought - babies are programmed to survive - that means to eat. Honestly unless you wean on maccy d's they just lose it all when they start crawling and walking. A fat toddler - yes that is possible, but a fat baby is nonsense and I am furious for you medical professionals are effectively telling you starve your child, there by affecting your loving relationship together too - as he sees you as his source of food and love. It beggers belief! angry

yellowsnownoteatwillyou Fri 06-Dec-13 20:00:08

And tell your husband to be quiet about a chubby baby makes fat adults. The 2 biggest baby girls I've ever seen as in braking buggies due to weight are both incredibly slim adults.

Teaandflapjacks Fri 06-Dec-13 20:03:37

I should add mine is in clothes for 6-9 month old. My niece and nephew were similar (both EBF) and as toddlers it all fell off once they started crawling and walking. IMO she is very healthy, has a chubby face but is quite tall. I am glad, I have had friends who had a terrible time with underweight babies, and fraught times feeding. I think that is worse really - at least I know she has a few reserves! Also I am healthy weight - size 10, 9 1/2 stone etc, husband also ok weight.

Teaandflapjacks Fri 06-Dec-13 20:04:20

yellowsnownoteatwillyou well said

clairikins Fri 06-Dec-13 20:06:25

Hungry milk is a marketing ploy. You should not have to give a child water until they are wean. Whether or not they are breastfeed or formula. The health professionals are talking out of their backside.

Teaandflapjacks Fri 06-Dec-13 20:06:38

Also i see that he was prem - actually I know of two prem babies in my circle who were very chubby babies by the end - I don't know if its their bodies trying to protect them - this is my opinion- they are both now very healthy, trim toddlers (if that makes sense!)

Bankholidaybaby Fri 06-Dec-13 20:19:13

If I take the bottle away, he smacks his lips and sometimes cries in horror. If we start playing he forgets, though, and seems fine? I'm so unbelievably confused.

The suggestion is that he might be comfort eating because of tummy ache.

He fell asleep straight after his massive 200ml feed at 5.30. He's now strapped to me in a carrier with a dummy. I could just see what happens - usually I take him out of the carrier at 3-4 hours depending on what he had last time. He usually then starts mouthing and crying almost immediately and takes the bottle like he thought he'd never see it again. I could just leave him and see what happens, but I worry that the dummy and cuddle will stop him from realising he needs food? As I've said, he'll miss one or two feeds at night if he's co-sleeping, and I wake up, panic, run and get a bottle whilst he gets more and more agitated. Oh, I don't know sad

I just feel like I'm cocking everything up. I almost wish I had a nurse or doctor here the whole time like in SCBU to tell me what to do sad

yellowsnownoteatwillyou Fri 06-Dec-13 20:19:56

Thanks tea, I am getting rage with constantly reading about couple with their first baby and " my husband says..."
Is your husband some sort of baby expert? If he's a sahd then that's slightly different but woman who are being told to put their babies in their own room as their husband say they will sleep thru if that happens, feed them more/ less. When I'm presuming these woman spend hours alone with these babies so will more than likely know a bit more.
Maybe a bit of a out there view but really annoys me just now.

Bankholidaybaby Fri 06-Dec-13 20:24:30

My mum looked after him whilst my husband and I went out for my birthday last week, and she said shed held him for ages but really wanted a cup of tea so she'd managed to get him to nap for 45mins but that he'd woken up 2.5 hours after a big feed 'clearly expecting to be fed and about to be put off'. She's had four children, all ff from day one.

Newmum0113 Fri 06-Dec-13 20:28:14

Not really a choking risk as the rusk is fully dissolved I the bottle and any larger parts wouldn't for through the teat anyway.

teaandflapjacks what age did you start weaning please? I'm curious as they do this in Turkey too where my dad is from.

As for the person asking why we want them to go longer between feeds - it's what we are being told to do by health professionals.

Bankholidaybaby Fri 06-Dec-13 20:29:37

Yellowsnow I completely agree with you about husbands: mine is less knowledgable than I am (he's an only child with no cousins and our son is only the second baby he's held vs me with three siblings, two of whom are 10 and 11 years younger, a mother who was a childminder when those two were little, and about a million cousins) but keeps making all these authoritative statements like: I don't believe in rooting. He needs to learn that I want doesn't always get. Why not let him cry and see what happens?

yellowsnownoteatwillyou Fri 06-Dec-13 20:30:45

My ds sometimes does this, has a little bit of his bottle then will finish it about 30 mins later.
He's a little person not just a baby, with his own thoughts and feelings about things.
Just go with them, imagine someone making you eat or sleep during the day when you didn't want to, I am aware I'm lucky that my ds sleeps 11 hrs at night but not all the time, sometimes he wakes up for food or just a pat, but I just go with, all things are stages they don't stay the same forever, but can feel like it.

Mutley77 Fri 06-Dec-13 20:34:19

Please don't worry. I have had v similar issues with all three of my kids (oldest 9yo, youngest 6mo).

None premature but all really bad feeders, Bf never properly established and told by health care profs to wake for feeds in early days. With dc3 she was tube fed for first 2 days as couldn't get enough into her, dropping blood sugars etc . same as you I believe this resulted in them "needing" to be fed extremely regularly and have never got any of then going more re than three hourly during day until established on solids, but I have had longer gaps at night. All ff from early on as couldn't cope with expressing exclusively.

Anyway all my kids jumped to top of charts (or sometimes slightly over) for weight. Dc1 is now one of the skinniest 9 year old I've ever seen although perfectly healthy, eats normally and on the tall side, dc2 is medium height and slim to normal build. Dc3 only 6 months and v chubby, I no longer get her weighed as hate the "looks" I get and refuse to try and put her on a diet or feed anything other than on demand. She's been on fruit and baby rice for about 2 weeks and her milk intake is dropping. I am confident she will slim down like her siblings.

I've never given water to my kids and really don't think it's necessary but if it does work and your baby isn't distressed by stretching out between milk feeds then it probably won't do any harm. Please don't worry, your baby won't end up being fat. This feeding cycle is actually more common than you think as it is important to keep newborns hydrated and nourished hence advice to wake for feeds which can result in them demanding food more often. Much better that, even if they do put on "too much weight" to start with, than a dehydrated baby where the outcome can be death as in a v sad case I heard of recently.

yellowsnownoteatwillyou Fri 06-Dec-13 20:42:08

Bank, I just read your last post to my only child husband, who also hasn't held a baby apart from ds.
He made a wtf face, and is horrified by your husbands statement. I feel sorry for you, that must be so difficult to listen to when you are already stressed about it.
But babies can't really over eat at that age or they will just be sick, they only have teeny tummies.
When you say he doesn't settle when you put him down does he writh about?do you think he has silent reflux and is drinking to sooth the heart burn ?
Or he may just be a wee chunk and likes his milk, my ds is big for his age loads of people think he's about 9 months when he's only just 5 months, my dh is taller than yours and I'm not short either.

Mutley77 Fri 06-Dec-13 20:44:03

Sorry when I say I've never given my kids water I have obviously, once they started solids! But in a cup and only offered with meals to start with.

Teaandflapjacks Fri 06-Dec-13 20:52:13

On dear, babies cant think consciously at this stage. I would ask your husband to study how brains develop and explain how a 14 week old without a developed hippocampus can think?! Babies work on instinct only at this stage. They are born early in their development cycle than other primates because they need to adapt to their environment (language etc), and also because were walk so our pelvic bones narrowed accordingly. A good book is this one - 'Why Love Matters: How Affection Shapes a Baby's Brain ' it should explain all of this to your husband better than I can. Rooting is very natural.

all that happens if you ignore his cues is he gets very distressed that his caregiver (you) are ignoring his pleas. And its distressing for you too. Mine sometimes fiddles, than 15 mins later is really hungry. I often lie with mine during the day for her naps - soon i wont be able to do this but right now I love it, lying next to get, holding her hand and listening to her little sighs.

Your husband is being a total plonker.

Bankholidaybaby Fri 06-Dec-13 20:54:50

Yellowsnow, when I put him down, even when I think I've nailed the floppy arm, dead to the world sleep phase, he cries within minutes like I've abandoned him. If I do get him to settle, he has attacks of the trumps/griping pains almost exactly 90mins after a feed, which wake him up and make him very sad.

Bankholidaybaby Fri 06-Dec-13 20:57:01

And yes, he does have reflux both spilly and silent, but the spills have become fewer and fewer. The gp promises he'll grow out of all of this.

Teaandflapjacks Fri 06-Dec-13 20:59:23

Newmum0113 I started at 13 weeks ish nearly 14- she is two weeks over due though so 15, nearly 16 weeks really. I did this with the go ahead of 4 doctors, including a paediatric expert. Now this does sound to people in England very early, but honestly in Germany, or certainly where I live, it is considered quite normal, as its giving babies cooled tea/water etc. It is funny how advice varies widely between countries!!

I will be holding off with anything else though for a while, and think other veg, and meat, and wheat etc etc until later on because I think this is harder to digest and she doesn't need it yet. The baby rice/formula/fruit combo is working really well. I will look to introduce carrots next.

I should add that if she was not drinking the amount she was, and the size she is, I would have waited to 16 weeks fully, but she was ready, we tried, she loved it, and we went for it.

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