Did you want 3 but settled on 2? Or did you want 2 but decide to have 3?

(37 Posts)
shakespeare Wed 13-Nov-13 01:15:23

Did anything in particular make you change your plans/minds? I've got two lovely dc (dd 4.5, ds 14 months), and goddamit, I think I'm feeling the urge to have no. 3! Totally taken me by surprise as I was never really that keen on having children in the first place.

We probably won't have another (far too many reasons why to list) and I don't think I live to regret it or anything, but I'm just curious how and why other peoples plans have changed when it came to having a certain number of children.

SpecialAgentFreyPie Thu 14-Nov-13 11:12:28

Oh, btw we do our absolute best not to just feed junk but if the choice is between three wailing toddlers and making a lovely chicken stirfry.... There's no competition!

Not had the skiing one yet Zombie. <worries>

Special sounds like everything worked out. smile

SpecialAgentFreyPie Thu 14-Nov-13 11:17:58

I wouldn't change anything for the world, they're perfect in every sigle way.

Excuse me while I go force cuddles on them! grin

Rooners Thu 14-Nov-13 11:21:19

I wanted three (or four) and didn't feel I could stop till I had number three. once he was born I knew that was that. I think another pregnancy might just kill me tbh. But at least I feel like I have finished.

Three is bloody hard work btw!

seafoodudon Thu 14-Nov-13 11:26:31

I am pondering the same thing, but about bigger numbers - do you just have a feeling when you're pregnant that this is your last time? Or do you look at your hoard of lovely children and realise that the number is complete?

pinkmagic1 Thu 14-Nov-13 11:38:16

I always wanted 4 but have stopped at 2. It took a little while to accept my decision but I am totally happy with it now. Mine are 9 and 7 and I really couldn't imagine another baby, I know that emotionally it would be just too much for me and it would be extremely impractical with regards to cars, bedrooms, holidays etc.

Tailtwister Thu 14-Nov-13 14:46:30

I wanted 3, DH wants 2. Having 3 would have ruled out a lot of things we can do for 2 and I would have been over 40 trying for a 3rd which neither of us felt completely comfortable with.

Now we have 2 children (rather than babies) I'm glad we stopped at 2. If I had been younger and able to leave more of a gap, I suspect we might have had a 3rd when the older 2 were at school.

Doitnicelyplease Fri 15-Nov-13 18:31:19

Never really had a specific number in mind just knew I wanted more than 1. We now have 2 gorgeous DDs (5 & 1) and I feel lucky to have them everyday - especially since I had four miscarriages between them. So realistically even if we really really wanted another DC it might not happen or might mean more mcs and not really sure I could go through all that again.

I do have a romantic idea of 3 kids and a lovely busy house, but the reality is I am too practical, money would be tighter, holidays would be fewer, not sure I would be able to 'treat/spoil' 3 the way we can 2.

Also frankly I think I am too lazy for another, I like the idea that my family is growing up a bit and we are moving away from the baby stages of nappies, tantrums, pushchairs etc. DD2 is still only 16 months so we can enjoy every minute of our last 'baby' for another year or so. Maybe I will feel differently when my girls are 7 & 3 but for now 2 is (more!) than enough.

beachesandbuckets Fri 15-Nov-13 18:43:35

This time last year, I used to stalk threads like this. But...i am now a member of the urban myth, the woman with 2 dcs (5 and 2) who tried for baby number 3 and got...TWINS! 2 to 4 kids in one swoop.

They are now 3 months old and I can honestly say, its wonderful!!! I had a Mc last year, so I don't know if this has made me more sentimental, but just having sqiggy, sweet smelling little babies is really lovely, seeing all 4 together makes my heart soar, and its really not as bad practically as I feared. We are in a very tight routine and the babies are good sleepers, so that helps. Of course financies have taken a real bashing, and will have to go back to work when they are 10mths, and dh nearly had a heart attack when I told him after the scan (he vehemently didn't want a third) but its all working out sa far. Can't believe my luck.

shakespeare Sat 16-Nov-13 07:21:59

Wow, that's lovely Beach, I'm sure a lot of people would still be reeling with their 2 become 4 after only 3 months. Sounds like your doing amazing. As are you Special. I can't look at a mother with twins without thinking 'bloody hell, think I have tough days!'

I think I'm just going through that stage with my ds (14 months) who is just indescribably cute at the moment, with all the new words, facial expressions and so forth and feeling a little sad that this will probably be the last time I will experience it (I'm 41 now, my partner 48).

I do sometimes worry about the quote another poster mentioned about not regretting having another but actually, a friend of mine who has 3 boys is very honest in saying she actually does regret having a third. It goes without saying she loves her ds but she said it has been really really tough.

And tbh, I don't think mental health would be up for it, as I find just the two pretty challenging at times and they are both good sleepers and pretty laid back. But even with all the odd stacked against you, it doesn't stop the feelings of broodiness does it??

Fuzzymum1 Sat 16-Nov-13 22:53:29

We always agreed we would have 2. After DS2 I knew in my heart I wasn't done I craved a 3rd child but DH was adamant he only wanted the two. It took me a long time to come to terms with it, I finally felt OK with it when DS2 was about 7, then a year later I fell pregnant and had DS3 when DS2 was just 9 - it was a shock TBH but I have loved starting over and enjoyed almost every moment. Now though I know for a fact I would go batshit crazy if I was to have another one.

crabbiepattie Sun 17-Nov-13 17:44:46

Wanted 2 but ended up with 3! Second pg was a twin pg. shock

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