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Lying 6 year old

8 replies

Whereisegg · 06/11/2013 07:53

My ds is 6, and his first response to most situations is to lie.

Playing outside, came in crying that ndn dd was throwing stuff at him. Dp was watching them play frisbee and ds didn't catch it, which became her throwing stuff at him.

I find a broken toy (nothing special, I really wasn't fussed) so asked 'oh dear what happened?' ds replies 'don't know x and y were playing with it' me 'ok ill ring and ask their mum' ds then says it was him.

Yesterday wanted 20p for a poppy at school, I tucked it in his trouser pocket with a reminder just before he went in.
Came out 'someone took my 20p off me' me 'oh dear, are you sure? Could it have fallen out of your pocket at carpet time?' ds 'yes that's what happened'
5 minutes later after a yet another chat about telling the truth he moans none of his teachers would let him go to the hall to buy a poppy so I have to point out he didn't have the money so why would they

Is this normal?!
Dd never did this

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Whereisegg · 06/11/2013 13:38

Anybody have any advice/experience of this??

I've been quite calm about it all, unsure if I'm dealing with it correctly, if I am more harsh the next time will they make it hit home, or should I just stay calm and keep repeating the talk because they're such 'pointless' lies?

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lockie1983 · 06/11/2013 16:34

Hiya, didn't want to read and run. My dss went through this at around 7 - it's a stage that I don't look forward to repeating with the baby! It's really horrible isn't it? (Especially as lying is something I detest in adults). Only ... He isn't an adult, he is just a child. I have read that lying is just another stage, realising that they don't have to be truthful about everything and learning what happens when they can bend the truth a bit.

It's an imaginative thing, involves story telling and creativity to an extent.

Luckily for us, little one was a bit older than yours and understood when we sat him down and told him that lying can hurt people's feelings (he was telling lies about his dad to his mum and to us about his mum). We made sure that he knew he would never get in trouble for telling the truth and put a ban on "punishments" for lies.

We would say " I would like you to tell me who broke that toy / lost the game / dropped the cake etc and if you tell me the truth that you won't get in to trouble, we just want you to own up to your actions" (in a nicer way, sorry brain dead from being up with the baby).

I also started to let small white lies go. Or go along with them and ask lots of questions "did she, why? / who else was there?" And quite often he would back track on his story and tell the truth.

Whether or not we did the right thing I don't know, but he hardly ever lies now.

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Whereisegg · 06/11/2013 16:42

Thank you Lockie!

Yes what you're saying makes sense I suppose!

He has said things about a teacher in the past and I actually went to the school about it.
Now, luckily I am not shouty because the teacher in question wasn't even in that day

I just wish I could make him see that i don't want my first thought every time he speaks to me to be 'I bet that's not true'