Oops, said what I was thinking to preschool manager

(21 Posts)
eversomuch Tue 05-Nov-13 19:41:14

DD started preschool playgroup at the end of September, 7 weeks ago. The manager of the group still calls her by the wrong name, despite my correcting her multiple times. Usually, she says the wrong name, then catches herself and days, "I'll get it eventually." Today when it happened, I accidentally said what I was thinking ("well it has been almost two months ..."). It was, as always, a bit chaotic at pick-up time & I've been ill with various colds and viruses for weeks not to mention sleep-deprived thanks to 1yo DS; life feels like a blur right now & I'm not even sure what her reaction was. (I did leave a few minutes later agreeing to volunteer at the Xmas party though...) But now I feel really bad and stupid ... I know they've got a lot of kids to look after and it's a very busy place, but still.

Do I leave it or apologize next time? OTOH, AIBU to expect the staff to know my child's name? It's not a British name but if you add a letter it becomes a common one. However, it's not hard to pronounce correctly, especially of it's been pointed out to you several times ...

mustardtomango Tue 05-Nov-13 20:00:47

Two months sounds plenty long enough to learn a child's name... I don't think you did anything wrong pointing out it'd been that long.

Id have hoped that if it was tricky in any way (not that yours sounds this based on what you say) that they'd take particular care to get it right. Cant do a child's confidence that much good if staff don't even recall their name.

eversomuch Thu 07-Nov-13 14:47:46

Thanks, mustard. It's a very diverse preschool, so lots of names from different cultures. I agree they should make an effort to get it right.

They don't know my name either -- I'm called "DD's mum" (DD's incorrect name) when they want my attention ... but I'm new at this whole preschool thing, so maybe that's normal? Maybe I'll just be called "DD's mum" for the rest of my life ... which isn't such a bad fate. I just want them to get her name right.

nicename Thu 07-Nov-13 14:54:58

I never get anyone's name right. I call all the children at the work nursery 'darling' or 'sweetie'.

I spent two years calling a Big Boss at work Amanda. She wasn't called Amanda, and never corrected me (she was very sweet). I'm stuffed if I can remember what her name actually was...

Icedfinger Thu 07-Nov-13 20:34:22

I'm a primary school teacher, I think it's part of our job to learn their names- quickly! It helps the children feel secure and valued. I always give myself until the end of the first day to learn all their names.

bellablot Thu 07-Nov-13 20:39:43

Erm no YANBU, after 2 months they should be able to pronounce her name just perfect, it's sheer ignorance and you were well within your right to say something. This would make me confused

SandStorm Thu 07-Nov-13 20:43:21

I'm a supply teacher - I can learn 30 names in a day and a half.

mummyxtwo Thu 07-Nov-13 21:28:25

You were quite right to make that comment - 2 months and they don't know your child's name?! How have they been giving instructions to children, or calling to them? "Oi! You, you, and that one over there. Time for painting!" Knowing the children's names from the beginning is pretty essential. If she gets it wrong again perhaps you should take to calling her Mrs Smith. Assuming her name isn't Mrs Smith.

morethanpotatoprints Thu 07-Nov-13 21:36:39

I was a childrens entertainer and was in the habbit of learning up to 30 names before a 2 hour party was over.
It is easy if you do lots of activities where they need to use their names, competitions where you ask their names.
Just ask their names at as many opportunities as you get and you can soon learn them.

ChippingInBatshitArse Thu 07-Nov-13 21:39:33

Is she calling her a different name or is she 'just' mangling DD's name?

eversomuch Thu 07-Nov-13 22:00:18

Chipping She's calling her a different name. Her name sounds almost like a common English name, and that what she keeps calling her. Trying to think of another example ... if her name were Liesl, she'd call her Lisa .. something along those lines -- though her name is not a "translation" of the English name, IYSWIM They're two distinct names. It's like calling someone Jen instead of Jane. Frustrating.

ReallyTired Thu 07-Nov-13 22:19:02

I think you are right to be pissed off.

How on earth can someone complete a learning journey on a child when they don't even know the child's name. There is no excuse after two months and its plain laziness.

JiltedJohnsJulie Thu 07-Nov-13 22:21:00

YANBU and I would have said the same. Two months is more than enough. Dd is in a class of 30 and the new teacher seemed to have it cracked after a couple of days.

PuppyMonkey Thu 07-Nov-13 22:28:55

Can't be bothered to remember the name of the poster above who calls kids darling and sweetie and cant get colleague's name right. Whatever. Can't be bothered with such trivialities hmm

Perfectly reasonable to expect a paid professional to know correct name of child after two months.

Get a sticker for her coat.

mrsmartin1984 Fri 08-Nov-13 00:17:47

If it was after a couple of weeks I'd say you were being unfair. But after two months you are being more then fair. She should have put more of an effort for the children in her care

ChippingInBatshitArse Fri 08-Nov-13 00:21:43

Are you sure it's not just an inability to say it the way you say it?

My Mum is completely and utterly unable to say my two god-daughters names the 'normal' way and they are perfectly ordinary English names and she is English born! It's not for want of trying either - she just puts the emphasis on the wrong part!

eversomuch Fri 08-Nov-13 01:38:49

No, she can pronounce it correctly. She often corrects herself when she says it wrong (and adds the "i'll get it eventually" part).

they have name tags on the coat rack and a self check-in board w/ all names on it.

the rest of the staff get it right, btw.

It sounds like she does actually know your DD's name if she manages to correct herself sometimes & is almost getting it wrong out of laziness- she needed you to say something I think! Don't feel bad about it smile

BlingLoving Fri 08-Nov-13 08:04:39

On ds' first day at nursery, every single nursery worker knew his name. They had obviously been briefed to expect him (and 2 other new children) and they all greeted him by name. They still remember it now. I think it is absolutely unacceptable for her not to remember after this much time and think it's amazing that you have remained polite for so long.

eversomuch Fri 08-Nov-13 19:17:13

Well, she got her name right this morning (first time we've been since my comment), so will now see if she can do so consistently.

Thanks for all the replies. Good to know my expectations were not unreasonable.

willowstar Fri 08-Nov-13 19:22:23

My daughter is called Georgie. She has been at per school since January and still call her Georgia despite repeated tellings. It is annoying.

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