Hi, was wondering if anyone has any good ideas about how to deal with 3 yo dd. Since I have been pregnant she has started wetting herself regularly now she is doing it a couple of times a day. Her behavior has also got worse and she is having lots more tantrums. Most of the time she is excited about being a big sister and is adamant the baby is hers and keeps picking toys for it etc. She has however said she does not want me to be the babies mummy. I have been really sick and tiered and am still throwing up now at 20 weeks so she may be feeling like she is not getting as much attention so I have been trying to hide it from her more but things are getting worse.
I had this from one of my children when expecting another. Similar age.
Your dd is unconsciously testing your love because she is anxious. She wants to know that however badly she regresses or behaves, that you will still love her.
Advice I was given? You have to show that unconditional love - be utterly supportive, outwardly utterly undisturbed by the weeing incidents (even though obviously it's hugely annoying), pretend it doesn't matter a jot.
I had been getting all upset with my ds but I tried this approach. Yes it could have been a coincidence but within a couple of weeks the behaviour went away.
Hope the sickness improves soon, that sounds miserable. My dd (2.7) had a similar phase but is coming out the other side of it now, thank goodness, am 34 weeks now. As well as giving lots of love and cuddles as the pp said, I've found it helps her to be pretty low key about the baby. I tell her that small babies are a bit boring and they sleep and cry and have milk, and talk about the things she can do that the baby won't be able to (like eat pancakes and chocolate and ice cream, and go down big slides etc). She likes it when I talk about her as a baby too, the nice bits and the funny stories. But I try not to talk about the new baby unless she brings it up. It's helped spending time with a friend who has a very little baby too, and she's seen that life goes on as usual just with a small and sometimes noisy person there as well. Hope things get easier soon!
Stop talking about the pregnancy so much and building it up - yes it's exciting but the experience isn't the same for her as it is for you. She's only 3, 20 weeks until baby arrives is a long way for her to comprehend. So carry on as normal as much as possible, keep your usual routines. You don't have to avoid talking about it altogether, just calm down a bit.
Thanks for your replies it is good to know i am notvalone. I haven't been bringing up the baby it is always her who initiates conversations about it. She is still having accidents and bedwetting every night despite me not making a big deal of it. We have made a reward chart and she can have a treat if she gets enough flowers on her chart by not having accidents. Nursery have also started giving her stickers when she uses the toilet again. Any more ideas as I am finding it difficult to keep on top of washing all the bedding and car seat covers every day?