What's the best age gap between baby 1 and 2?

(59 Posts)
AlmondFrangipani Sat 26-Oct-13 16:11:31

We have a DS whose 12 weeks old and whilst we're not ready yet by any means to have number 2 I wondered what people's views are? We always thought we would have them close together but sleep deprivation is putting me off!!

Mumof3xx Sun 27-Oct-13 19:08:26

I had a 16 month gap with dc1&2

I went on mat leave at 7 months preg with dc1 and returned to work 23 months later when dc 2 was 5 months old and dc1 was 21 months. Although I didn't go back to the same job, I never intended to do so from when I went on my mat leave

Geckos48 Sun 27-Oct-13 19:08:58

2 years, its been amazing.

going for 3 years between the next two.

hellsbells99 Sun 27-Oct-13 19:46:20

I had 14 weeks off after DD1 was born and then went back initially 2 days a week - my husband had those 2 days off to look after her (he works shifts/weekends so we were able to sort it), and then upped it to 3 days a week. Had slightly longer off with DD2 - think it was about 5 months, again going back part-time with DH helping to cover and 1 day a week at nursery. I have only worked full-time for 2 months since they were born and the eldest is 16! I now work 2 very long days, 2 short days and Fridays off - and do a bit extra in the evenings and weekends if I need to.

lharris1985 Mon 28-Oct-13 17:10:48

I've just got one 6 month old but I'm already thinking about baby number 2 - we had always said 18 months between 1 and 2 as we want them to be friends as well as siblings!

LittleRobots Mon 28-Oct-13 18:49:18

Our 3year old gap was because we liked the idea of friends rather than rivals! They are such good buddies and love playing together. I am so glad they have that bond.

My brother and I were 18 months and it really didn't work. I guess its not just down to age gap but its certainly been a factor in us not trying too soon!

emmyloo2 Tue 29-Oct-13 05:11:02

I have 2.5 years between mine. It's a good gap but I do wonder whether we should have had a shorter gap just to get it over and done with. We are only having two and I found the first two years of my first's life, very hard. Now he is becoming quite a delight at almost 3 years of age and I find him really very easy to care for. However, we now have the 5 month old so I feel like I am now back to square 1 and am facing another 18 months before it becomes easier again - if that makes sense? However, I am not sure I would have had the mental strength to cope with two under two. It's a balancing act and I think it depends on how well you cope with babies. I don't cope well at all, so I needed a slightly bigger age gap. I was so scarred by my first that I originally wanted 4-5 years between them but I am so glad we didn't, because we really just want to get the baby stage over and done with so we can get on with life and start enjoying ourselves again. I have that now with my DS and so I just want my DD to grow up so she can be his age and they can play together....

I think I just rambled but I hope that made sense!

BigDomsWife Tue 29-Oct-13 16:28:25

Another bigger gap here that worked out superbly. 2.9 months between DD & DS. They love each other to bits, rarely fight, love to look after each other. There are 13 months between my Sister and me,we fought and have not spoken for a while. There were 3.5 years between my Brother & we never fought. . . ever! A majority of children we know who had less than 2 year between them cannot stand each other so we planned a bigger gap which worked out of us. Luckily!

Eletheomel Tue 29-Oct-13 18:05:29

I'm with earlier poster, just amazed and blessed to have two children, regardless of age gap - there was a time we didn't think we'd be able to have even one child.

In an ideal world I wanted a 2 year gap, but got 3.9 months instead. However, in all honesty the gap I've got has worked out better for me as I suffer very badly in pregnancy with morning sickness (sofa-ridden for 8 weeks) and DS1 was 3 at that point and could understand what was going on whereas an 18 month old wouldn't have understood why I couldn't play with him and my guilt would have been trebled.

It also means I'll only have to pay double childcare for 1 month as DS1 will be starting school shortly after my mattie leave ends, so financially it's much better. DS2 is only 5 months old so I have no idea if they'll get on or not, but to me that's all down to personalities not age gap - there are 10 years between me and my eldest sister and we are (and have always been) really close.

The age of your kids won't determine whether they get on or like the same things, so I would aim for a minimum age and then hope you're lucky enough to fall pregnant. Good luck with it all :-)

AveryJessup Tue 29-Oct-13 18:15:25

I'm envious of anyone who can plan it! A mother in a parenting group I belong to whose first DS is the same age nearly to the day as mine (2) said a year ago that she wasn't going to join our gym because she was planning to have her second as soon as possible. I thought 'hmm we'll see how that works out missus' as I know she is about 35 like me.

Went to a recent event and there she was, 3 month old DS2 in tow... oh well! Meanwhile I'm seeing my doctor to discuss starting a course of Clomid... (burning with envy...envy)

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