"Oh, I would NEVER do that if/when I have a child" ....

[Missgiraffe1]

I think it's safe to say Karma has well and truly kicked my judgey-panted arse

I remember looking at stories and pictures on Facebook of my cousins DD being naughty and thinking "I would never allow any child of mine to make that mess/empty the cereal box all over the floor/scribble on the walls with lipstick/eat dog food out the bowl" etc etc

And I would watch my DB and DSil run around after my DN trying to get one more spoonful of dinner into him, thinking "my child will sit in a high chair when it's feeding time at the zoo and I won't be chasing him/her all over the place like that"

Well, HOW WRONG WAS I??? My 17.5month old DS is a hooligan!! And he's so bloody fast! He can open a bathroom door &throw a shoe/phone/toy car down the toilet quicker than you can blink!!

We have had furniture dented and scratched, a tractor thrown across church almost hitting the alter (we don't go much, it's too challenging!), my friends babies hit on the head by random missiles, lamps and ornaments broken, escapes out the front door (which is locked at all times) laptops jumped on..... Just to mention just a few fairly regular occurrences.

And he watches baby tv and eats biscuits

Anyone else find that the reality is somewhat different to their previously rose-tinted, uninitiated views on parenthood??? (Disclaimer I have a 17yo but clearly forgot absolutely everything. Either that, or she was actually an angel compared to her little bro)

[stargirl1701]

Oh, OP, I hear you. I was so judgy about co-sleeping. Why would anyone allow a child to sleep in their bed. Karma. DD co-slept for months.

I have learned that parenting is survival. Just do what you have to in order to survive!

[DontMentionThePrunes]

There are things I swore I wouldn't do, and I don't allow, but ds does them anyway. Apparently I was a model child and so was dh. Rarely needed telling. Both of us have siblings who pushed every button going. Obviously we passed their DNA on (and and )

[Missgiraffe1]

'Parenting is about survival' are so right stargirl.

Prunes, I am pretty sure my DD was a model child. Anywhere I took her, she was well behaved and obedient. This one, however......

[Spongingbobsunderpants]

Kids in restaurants...I used to hate kids next to me in restaurants banging cutlery, knocking over their drinks, trying to run around etc, before I had my own. Now dh and I think we've had a successful meal out if we get both dc to sit at the same time and eat their meal. We don't do it all the time as it can be stressful but I do want to get them used to eating out. Last week we went out for dh's birthday lunch - somewhere kid friendly- but it was a nightmare. The food for them came quickly, which was great, but it also meant they had finished their main and dessert before our mains came. We then spent the next twenty mins relay eating whilst supervising the two of them as they refused to sit still - other diners glared as they roamed free but every time we tried to get them to sit down dd2 (just 2) had a massive tantrum. We rushed our food but then the waitress took ages with our bill so more stern looks from the other diners. I couldn't wait to get out of there. Poor dh!

[rubyslippers]

i was the perfect parent before i had kids

i think i have done everything i said i would never do with both of them - dummies, feeding to sleep, co sleeping, bribery, chocolate before the age of 1 ...

[Missgiraffe1]

Spongingbob, on the odd occasion we take DS out to eat with us, I only ever order something I can eat with one hand which won't stain when I inevitably drop some into my lap whilst trying to stop DS doing one of the things mentioned in your post!
Eating out with small children is a test of endurance and sometimes of marriage

[TheFabulousIdiot]

I wrote a blog once where I said that there was nothing at all wrong with letting a baby cry it out. Says me, the mother who still feeds her almost 3 year old to sleep in her bed! Ha ha ha.

On the other hand I don't think my DS has ever thrown anything down the loo etc.

All children are different aren't they and I am sure if I had another he/she would be a lot worse behaved than my PFB.

[Missgiraffe1]

Ruby

[TheLeastAccomplishedBennetGirl]

No child of mine would sit IN the trolley at the supermarket

piles up bread and toilets rolls to hide DD

[Missgiraffe1]

My DS throws things.... A lot.

[vladthedisorganised]

Ha ha ha.
I was going to be the ultimate eco-parent. No disposable nappies for me, I'd barely use the car, and if breastfeeding got tricky I'd express.
We bought a pram as a backup but I was pretty sure I'd use a sling most of the time.
Lasted four very painful months with breastfeeding and exactly an hour and a half with the re-usable nappies. DD never went in the sling as I never figured out how to put it on.

I am still adamant that DD won't buy into the Disney princess crap, even though she regularly prances around in a tiara singing 'Someday my prince will come'

[Spongingbobsunderpants]

Oh god, I didn't think there was anything wrong with letting a child sit in the trolley the least

OP we had to abandon the lovely meals out we'd planned for our last holiday in France after dc refused to eat anything except ice cream whist creating a commotion. Bad enough at home, but in France, when you can't gauge how much you're annoying the locals until you're handed the bill before asking for it, meant we did picnics (even in the rain) the remainder of the holiday.

[TEErickOrTEEreat]

The key is admitting, to the people you were smug too, how wrong you were!!!

[TheLeastAccomplishedBennetGirl]

You start a thread about it, Sponge

See how Very Wrong We Are :-D

[HormonalHousewife]

I would never smell a bottom to see if they had done a poo !

[Missgiraffe1]

Your responses are making me feel so much better.

(Like the time my Best friends baby started having sleep issues - at 7months!! I had already endured 13months of sleep hell with DS whilst listening to her perfectly reasonable but hugely frustrating accounts of 7/8/9/10 hour stretches of sleep for the last 7 of those!
Is it really so wrong to take comfort in that?! She seemed to think so Oops)

[aturtlenamedmack]

food in the pushchair - used to think it was awful. Now a greggs dummy is the only way to get ds round the supermarket!

[TheLeastAccomplishedBennetGirl]

DD would also have impeccable table manners and accompany us on evenings out to restaurants etc.

She is actually frightened of food smells and can mostly be found under a table and crying if we go anywhere that serves 'stinky food'


*she is autistic though ;)

[MissLola]

I agree with Baby TV!
I used to think how lazy putting your child in front of the telly, now it's like 'sit there and watch cbeebies while I have a hot drink!' (And 5 minutes peace)

[Missgiraffe1]

Eggbird. My saviour. I have several of them recorded. It's is the ONLY way I can empty the dishwasher without DS attempting to climb in it, or run away with a sharp knife!

[Spongingbobsunderpants]

the least I'm too much of a nervous disposition to, lest others things arise to shatter the last bastions of my parenting skills.

[vladthedisorganised]

Oh, that too.
No TV before aged 2, of course.
After that DD would very occasionally watch short bursts of educational TV, along with me, so that we could discuss what went on in the programme. No sitting longer than about 5 minutes before we went to do some other, far more interesting, activity.

I don't think switching on CBeebies, seeing Mr Tumble and running from the room was part of my educational agenda.

[Missgiraffe1]

Another one. I couldn't believe how my DB and DSil allowed sticky fingerprints to remain on their windows/doors for so long.

Fool.
(My mirrored wardrobe door looks like it lost a fight with a banana milkshake )

[TwoTearsInABucket]

Dummies. DS had a dummy till he was 4.5
We let ds and dd into our bed every night. They are 6 and 4.