what age did you have your children?

(56 Posts)
mummykayxx Tue 22-Oct-13 17:14:30

I'm 20 with a 2 year old. in a long term relationship. we are in the process of buying a house. partner works full time. I'm a home study student atm but wanting to work part time too. am I too young to have the next? I'm so broody and always wanted my babies close together. we were going to wait until we have moved and settled and I have finished my courses. what age did you have your children? how old was the first when you had your second? (:

Annagramma Tue 22-Oct-13 18:13:59

I had my eldest at 17. Then at 20, then at 21. I had my fourth and last child at 23 (he's a newborn still). I was also studying, and got a small part time job at 21 if it matters. I had them all young but I think it worked okay as now that I am getting into care, I'm not facing the prospect of maternity leave, and hopefully will have less discrimination etc; which many mithers have had, and I won't (hopefully) have to take long job/career breaks. Although I didn't plan to have a kid at 17, I like how close they are and how I'm now finished having children.

My eldest was 3.5 when my second was born.

princesspants Tue 22-Oct-13 20:24:02

I was 30, 33 and 35. I wish I had had them younger. I had been living with DH from 21 and married at 25 so I could kick myself now.

You are obviously happy and enjoying being a mum so go for it. It's more about where you are in life and who you are with in terms of being settled and happy and not about material status or age.
It would be a perfect age gap now. Mine all have just over 2.5 years and it works well.

When I had my first I met 5 other girls in my ante natal group who I am still friends with now. We ranged from 21-38. The girl at 21 had 3 by the time she was 25 and although she found the age gaps of just under 2 hard at times, she is glad to now have her family complete and her and her DH are enjoying things easing up now.

My regret comes from the fact I hate thinking about what age I will be when they are my age. Will I be fit enough to help with grandchildren etc. Will they think we are old farts?!!
Also because I would love a 4th but I turned 37 last week so I have to forget it after 2 high risk PG.

I think you are doing the right thing FWIW

mikkii Tue 22-Oct-13 20:26:44

I was 35 with DS, I had DD1 three days before my 38th birthday and was 41 when DD2 was born.

sewingandcakes Tue 22-Oct-13 20:27:38

27, 29 and 35. I was with my husband for 10 years before we had kids or got married, and I think we should have started earlier.

Hulababy Tue 22-Oct-13 20:30:18

I had DD at 29y
She took a lot of TTC - if I'd got pregnant straight way I would have been 26y.

24 (nearly 25) and just turned 29...we wanted a smaller gap but took over 2 years to conceive DS - who is now 3wo smile

Wuxiapian Tue 22-Oct-13 20:31:14

20, 34 and 35.

26 and then a few weeks off 30. I wish I had been a little younger, in hindsight.

no sorry, 27. I got pregnant when I was 26.

Ragwort Tue 22-Oct-13 20:34:00

43 grin - I'd been to university, done lots of travelling, one short failed marriage, been with DH 12 years & had a fabulous career, practically paid off the mortgage.

And yes princess - my DS does think DH and I are old farts grin.

I genuinely don't know what the ideal age is, we have none of the financial pressures that so many 'younger' parents seem to face and I don't have all the angst about missing out on my career (happy to consider myself retired) but then again I look at my friends who are my age whose children have left home and envy them their relaxed lifestyle !

AmandaCooper Tue 22-Oct-13 20:34:18

I was 35 when I had DS.

20 and 22

I love having my girls close together. It's hard work though! I agree it's not about chronological age but about where you are in your life e.g dh an I have been together for nearly 8 years, we're married, own our house and have been through lots together.
Some people aren't ready for children until it's too late, some people are ready as soon as they can be!

kiki22 Tue 22-Oct-13 20:51:02

25 would not have liked to be any older

MrsBungle Tue 22-Oct-13 20:57:14

I was 31 and 34. Perfect age for me. I don't feel any older than I did when I was 21 and 24! For me, personally, I had the best time ever in my 20's and I am glad I got to do all that. I love being a mum now, in my 30's, a whole different era in my life!

TheGrandPooBah Tue 22-Oct-13 20:57:15

40 and 44. Best thing we've ever done, and we're loving being parents to a 7 and 3 year old whilst 47. When I was 25, I would have considered someone at 47 to have one foot in the grave.

Nup. We play sports, musical instruments, work, have loads of friends and are out with the kids all the time, so I guess it's just what kind of life you lead, depending on how old you feel. We might not be super rich, but we are VERY happy with the richness of our family life.

MaryAnnTheDasher Wed 23-Oct-13 06:58:14

31, 33 and will be 36 when number 3 is born. Wish I had them younger but was with total twat for 11 years until mid 20's so am glad I didn't have them with him. Plus this way i've managed to get my career in order and become financially secure so my kids have a reasonable start in life. I do also worry about being too old to help them out with their kids but my mum is 63 and is the main carer for mine and my sisters kids so I'm hoping I'll take after her!!

mummyxtwo Wed 23-Oct-13 10:45:57

30 and 34 and am considering whether or not I could handle another! I always wanted to be a younger mum, as my mum had me at 34 and she seemed a lot older than my friends' mums, but times have changed and women are having babies at all ages. Also, I think it depends on the individual how young or old you look or behave. I would have loved to have started my family in my twenties but hey ho, life had other ideas! You've already got one child, so you're not really pondering how old you should be when you start your family. Whenever feels right for you is the right time, IMO, and if you're keen on a small age gap then go for it! There's something to be said for having shorter age gaps.

PollyIndia Wed 23-Oct-13 11:03:10

37 and at no point have I wished I had him younger. I love him to bits but changes your life forever! I have travelled, partied, got to a point in my career where I can work 3 days a week at home and be fine financially (I am a single mum). I sometimes miss my old life, but not really - apart from burning man, I think I had done most of the things I could have ever wanted to do pre kids (other than fall in love again!). Think it totally depends on the individual though. I've always had loads of energy and been really fit etc. The broken sleep doesn't bother me really.

Though we must all believe we have had our kids at the right time for us, as that's when we had them - wishing you had done things differently is pointless.

PollyIndia Wed 23-Oct-13 11:04:18

Actually, the only thing that makes me wish I were younger is that my mum and dad are now 70. They are also both fit and healthy (touch loads of wood), but they won't be around for my son's whole life and that makes me sad.

21, 25, 29, 33. Defiantley easier when I was younger, although I suppose that could be because I didn't have the other children already.

I had just finished my first degree when I had my first. I then realised that wasn't what I wanted to do (English literature, plan was to be teacher) and started a second degree in midwifery all with a young child, then worked and took maternity leave for the others, I left midwifery when dc3 was 3 as I felt like I didn't know her! Due to shifts and h's long hours the children virtually lived at my mums house so that he didn't have to get up to be here for 6.30am when the last person would have left for work, the dc would often go to my mums after school being dropped home at 7pm, to be bathed and got ready for bed, h listen to reading and then taken back to nannys to go to bed sad plus weekends and bank holidays always seemed to fall on my shifts. the money wasn't great for the sacrifices being made. Miss the job like mad now, did a few bank shifts but let my registration expire and now work at a management level in an office, I can work from home if I need to and my boss is flexible as long as I can show that I have everything covered.

StandingInLine Wed 23-Oct-13 11:14:56

I was 22 (unplanned ) with my first and 24 (planned) with my second. I had always wanted my kids close so when I finally said goodbye to nappies and sleepless nights it was for good. I think there's a positive to whatever age you have them, for instance I had a Fab social life beforehand, went clubbing etc...so as least I wont look back thinking I've wasted my youth and by the time I'm 30 both my kids will be at that age where they're at school and not as reliant on me so can start getting my life back in order.

dyslexicdespot Wed 23-Oct-13 11:32:08

I had DS at 34.

For everyone that has said that they wish they had children earlier- You know you would not have had the same children, if you had them at any other time, right?

So, if you like the ones you have got, you had them exactly when you should have had them!

evertonmint Wed 23-Oct-13 11:38:39

31, 34 and will be almost 38 when this one is born.

About right for the first and second - old enough to have fine stuff but still quite young, and 2.5y gap which has worked well. Feeling old now and should probably have had this one sooner - will be 3y10 between dc2 and this and should have gone with 2yrs! But for various reasons we weren't quite ready until now.

ALittleBitOfHalloweenMagic Wed 23-Oct-13 11:40:56

18
26

I would have had my second a lot sooner but I wanted to get my degree first then my dh proposed at my graduation so we saved and got married then ttc . It's worked out ok and I love my dcs but the age gap is quite big . But dd loves her little brother and is a great littler helper winkgrin

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