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Parenting

4 month old sleep problems

14 replies

StuckOnARollercoaster · 19/10/2013 09:40

Our little girl is increasingly only falling asleep for her naps after a full on tantrum and it's very distressing. Doesn't happen every time but it is getting more common and I want to try and stop this.
We aim to put her down as soon as we we signs of tiredness, either a yawn or slightly frantic noises or movements. Will lay in cot, quieter things down and switch on the dream sheep but where she used to be calm, now she's getting older and more alert rather than settling and calmly falling into a restful state she's getting more alert, active and as a result then becoming overttired.
Have tried leaving her but will get herself into a state, tried soothing with a soft song or strokes which may work for a minute but then she gets worked up again.
Eventually she'll end up in a full on crying fit. I hold her tight and soothe but it doesn't work, I think she o my stops when she runs out of energy and it feels Luke such a distressing way to fall asleep. If she stirs its straight back into crying because she's still upset.
The strange thing is it doesn't happen every single time and usually doesn't happen with her nighttime - where the only difference is that after food and nappy it's a story and she's in her sleeping bag.
Can anyone advise on what may have worked for them or a book that may help me get into better going to sleep/nap habits with my little girl
Thanks

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Mumof2beautys · 19/10/2013 10:38

Hi..I'm not sure if this will be any help but here goes.. I've got a 2yr old ds and a 10 month old dd.. Now I assumed they'd be the same "ish" with regard to naps but oh how I was wrong.. My ds used to fall asleep on my lap then I'd put him down and he'd sleep for hours sometimes perfectly happy but my Lillie princess is completely the opposite.. At first she liked bouncing and rocking to get her to sleep, then screaming started so we changed to rocking in her pram which worked for a while, then screaming started again.. I think she's just too nosy.. Especially because her brothers still playing she wants to be with him.. Now we bring her in the room so she can see everyone but we just ignore her and she falls asleep in pram watching everyone.. I think you've just got to go with what she wants while she so young. We have a set nap time for both in the afternoon but unless she's really tired I'd leave her.. She might just not be tired enough.. Hope you get some happy naps soon..

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StuckOnARollercoaster · 19/10/2013 10:50

Thanks, part of it I think is that her natural rhythm is changing but it's nor settled yet. Used to be a 3hr cycle, she fed at 7.30, has been acting tired since 8.45ish but after 2 tantrums has only just nodded off at 10.30. Do not want to put her down in case she wakes so am stuck on mumsnet now trying to figure out how to avoid the 2 hours of misery we have just gone through...
(and have to accept that today's plans have gone out of window... I won't get a chance to get up and showered till after next feed, assuming we get a better nap next time around...)

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humphryscorner · 19/10/2013 12:20

I'm having similar with dd2 she is 6m.

Some days she will go straight in her cot to go a sleep and chatter away till she goes off but recently it's becoming harder and harder for her . She has been giving sleepy signs for over hour and half, she is shattered! Rubbing eyes, turning face in - she had just fell asleep as

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cupcake78 · 19/10/2013 12:26

Similar here with dd. 16 weeks and the whole sleep thing has turned on its head in the last week. Used to sleep through, not anymore! Last night was tough going.

Naps are hit and miss but always start off with 30mins of screaming, fighting sleep. Nothing works twice it's just trial and error. Sometimes I can put her down sometimes I can't.

She is too interested in everything else.

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humphryscorner · 19/10/2013 12:26

I writing this!

We used to go in to full scale melt down and it's so upsetting. She won't let me cuddle her to sleep so I just have to pick her up calm down and put back. She is currently flat out now on sofa.

Some times she grabs my hand in a ninja grip and presses it again her face, dh said it looks like I'm trying to suffocate her!

I'm debating wether to wash my self as she has been fussing all morning and I stink or leg it round the house cleaning as that stinks too! Got 40 mins max!

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humphryscorner · 19/10/2013 12:27

cup full nights sleep......... What that
I feel like my eyes balls are hanging out on bouncy coils!!

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cupcake78 · 19/10/2013 12:33

I know its hard! Ds was terrible, never slept through till he was 3! He is now 6 and still gets up every other night.

I think you've just got to do what you can and if riding out the tantrum till exhaustion hits is the only way then so be it.

4 month old sleep regression and growth spurts and wonder weeks all make for a tricky mix but it does pass!

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StuckOnARollercoaster · 19/10/2013 14:58

a mutual support group of mums with babies that scream themselves to sleep!

well we've both managed to get dressed, I've had lunch, DD is just feeding then I'm going to take her outside for some fresh air and hope that helps with the next nap... (but we need to pop into grandparents so I suspect that will screw things up as they won't want to let her wind down so I'll have to be neurotic mum and insist...)

has anyone read the no cry sleep solution?
am going to see if my library have it - is it any good for naps or is it just about getting babies to sleep through the night?

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Icedfinger · 19/10/2013 16:58

My 4 month old has to be cuddled or rocked to sleep. I don't mind, she won't be little for long.

As someone else said there's a lot going on at 4 months- wonder weeks, teething, growth spurts. It's a funny time.

There is a no cry nap solution if you are interested.

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StuckOnARollercoaster · 19/10/2013 19:11

Icedfinger - def interested in no cry nap solution! Spill the beans... Is it a book or website or what you have learnt works?

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Icedfinger · 19/10/2013 19:27

It's a book by the same woman who wrote No cry sleep solution. Have only dipped into it so far as trying to encourage my DD to nap for longer than 45 minutes.

She does encourage looking for early signs and acting on them which has worked for us.

I was talking to my mum today though and we were saying its a transitional point- no longer feed, poo, sleep but not able to amuse or settle themselves.

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bigwellylittlewelly · 19/10/2013 19:43

Dd2 is 19weeks. Slet through 13hrs with 3 or 4 long naps every day.

Until two weeks ago. Up every hour. Fighting sleep. Cat naps when I do het her down. Think she is permanently exhausted and a bit fragile - lots of bottom lip and tears over nothing.

I'm hoping if I just follow her lead she will settle down eventually. Its not helped by dd1 wakes her up all the time! I'm more confident this time so I haven't interrogated my diet and driven myself nuts rrying to fix her sleep. Once she hits six months and starts weaning then I hope I can gently push a routine.

It also the two hours awake every night which is horrendous

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Crista · 19/10/2013 19:46

Icedfinger is on about Elizabeth Pantley. I second anything by her, this woman is a genius!

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StuckOnARollercoaster · 19/10/2013 23:46

Thanks, managed to order the no cry sleep book from the library but I think there must be another stressed mum in my area as its already reserved by someone else!! Will see if they have the nap version as well... May just get one sooner though from eBay or amazon...

I so hope it's a phase that will pass - bigwelly - your description is spot on - upset over seemingly nothing with the trembling bottom lip never far away, when a month ago she was such a happy little baby that didn't really cry much.

Just giving her dream feed and hoping for a nice stretch of sleep for as long as possible!