where can I get help on a Sunday - pnd

(82 Posts)
SingSoftKittyToMe Sun 13-Oct-13 08:40:23

Having an awful episode this morning. Mornings seem to be the worst time. 2 yo and 7 wo are non stop screaming the flat is a tip I cant even think straight through the hysteria. Doc wants to see me again wed but cant cope til then. Have no family for support and dh is away until next Friday. I am shouting and screaming at my toddler which I hate myself for. I feel desperate and alone and can't see past this hysteria. I have a friend visiting later today but not sure how to cope until 4pm . I hate myself for feeling this way and its non stop crying and screaming. I'm frightening my 2 yo and I hate how scared she looks when I shout at her. Then I collapse in tears and apologises while holding them both as we all cry.i start my day at 3am as baby wakes then and takes 2 hrs to resettle only for toddler to wake for the day at 5am. I cant cope with the NONSTOP SCREAMING!! I feel desperate and like I am losing it. Please help me.

SingSoftKittyToMe Sun 13-Oct-13 19:21:02

Thank you all so much. Two friends visited me in the end was very lucky. Toddler napped for 2 hrs which was fantastic but baby continued to scream pretty much until 4pm. After my friend left I put baby in carrier and went to the shops with dd. Baby fell asleep and when we got home I put baby down in moses with the hairdryer app noise - miraculously slept until 7pm! I managed to cuddle toddler and do bath and bedtime in peace. I cries out of guilt for shouting at dd and repeatedly dragging her away from baby today. She was so forgiving and kind and cuddled me still after hpw horrible I was. Am now bfing baby.

Mornings always seem to be the worst - I can't cope with the smallest thing. Why is this? Is it a hormone thing or just tiredness?

Thank you all again you helped cope when I was at my lowest.

brettgirl2 Sun 13-Oct-13 19:32:56

Glad things worked out in the end today. You've obviously got some pretty brilliant friends - don't think twice about asking them for help at this difficult time. Think if it was the other way round you would really want to do everything you could.

Oh and I lost my temper with my 21 month old this morning. I don't have a 7 week old I was just tired and grumpy blush . Don't beat yourself up, guilt is such a big part of pnd but its shit, you didnt ask to be ill.

Choos123 Sun 13-Oct-13 19:41:21

Mornings were always worst for me, I think it is tiredness and that feeling of already being tired at the start. Ps if your toddler was not being gentle with the baby, I can understand the frustration too, I've only got one and have shouted at her in the past, don't dwell on it.

I'm so glad, it seems like you had a good afternoon!

of course your little girl is forgiving, you're her whole world! but all the more reason to get help now so you shouting at her doesn't become the norm.

and there's a very good reason for you that mornings are the worst...they start at a ridiculous time! but my mornings generally start around 6.30 and are still often stressful, I find both children need so much more attention in the morning..perhaps reconnecting after sleep? DS gets more badly behaved and antsy around my feet the longer we stay indoors and DD gets clingy and tearful because she needs a nap quite soon after waking for the day. I thought I was the only one but have spoken to others who find the same. I've had some success with getting most things ready the night before - Clothes for the children and for me, breakfast prepped as much as possible, snack packed in my bag and quick check that I have everything I need in there to just grab and go. so in the morning it's not such a rush, and my tip would be just get out of the house as soon as possible in the morning. go to playgroup, the library, a park, just for a walk - whatever...the aim for me is to let DD nap and let DS feel that all my focus is on him, so a walk is perfect. I've found I've started to make friends at groups or at least see people regularly enough that they're a friendly face and have often found people offering to hold the baby while I play with the toddler or watch the toddler while I feed the baby. it makes such a difference to my stress levels if I get out asap

are you seeing the GP today? please don't suffer in silence, there's help out there you just have to keep pushing for it sometimes. your HV Can tell you about homestart, perhaps there's a local children's centre nearby or soft play?

have you spoken to DH yet? please do call on your friends again, they're there for the bad times as well as the good grin

SingSoftKittyToMe Tue 15-Oct-13 02:20:31

I spoke with a counseller today and she reckons I have anxiety issues and panic attacks. I also scores reasonably high for depressive tenancies but she thinks that could also just be exhaustion from having a small baby or almost a vicious circle from the panic attacks - guilt from my behaviour during them then feeling low and like a failure. They are going to give me 6 sessions ovee tge phone as well as information on how to deal with the panic attacks.

I'm glad you are slowly finding your way through all this - it sounds so scary for you all.

Have you tried calling Cry-Sis on 08451 228 669. They are open 7 days a week 9am - 10pm and you can speak to someone trained who has experienced similar problems.

SingSoftKittyToMe Tue 15-Oct-13 06:17:29

I have called cry sis and although the lady wad kibd her advice was "have you tried feeding the baby" and "have you tried swaddling". Still feel very scared but at least I recognise what's wrong.

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