Questions about a baby at 3 months(25 Posts)
Ds is 3 months next week. I have two questions:
1. What does/ did your 3 month old wear? Am I meant to put him in tops and trousers? Sleep suits are so convenient! I don't want to put him in outfits ... But other mums I've met say at 3 months he's not a little baby anymore and should be in proper clothes.
2. Do you have a bedtime routine? At the moment ds doesn't nap beyond 4 or 5, cluster feeds most evenings, and eventually settles around 10 or 11 or sometimes later. We give him a bath every other night at around 7 but it doesn't make him sleepy and he is with us in the lounge till we go to bed. I've heard that by 12 wks they should be sleeping through the night (ha!!!) and be in bed by 8. But I just don't know how that's possible.
I guess underlying both these is - if not now, when? Everyone tells me that 3 months is a milestone, and id like a routine etc but so far we've been getting along ok doing things on demand with a very rough EASY or EAESY pattern, and I don't know how to change. I'm worried that I'm treating ds like a younger child and not responding to his changing needs as he grows. Also, I have to go back to work at 6 months so long term doing things on demand won't work, and we need some structure.
Any advice gratefully received!
1) whatever you like! ds1 got dressed in outfits mainly because people bought lots for him and i felt like i had to use them! my 2nd and 3rd babies spent far longer in sleepsuits because, like you, i felt they were easier and more comfy.
at 3 months he most certainyl IS still a little baby
2) no... mine didn't really settle into a routine until at least 6-8 months-ish. Until then I'd have them downstairs so i could feed as needed, then took them upstairs when i went. couldn't be doing with all the walking up and down stairs for feeds :-D
it'll happen. just give it time. you'll notice gradually that baby is sleepy between feeds in the evening rather than being very awake.. that's your cue to maybe start putting him upstairs so he can settle for the night instead of keeping him downstairs.
clothes-wise again totally up to you!
You can dress him however you like! There is no 'rule' and he is very much a little baby at 3 mths!!! I personally love a sleep suit so I made the most of them as long as possible but can't say I remember when I started using outfits.
As for the bed to routine and sleep through thing, I have a 1 yr old who still doesn't do either of these so don't feel pressured to do anything you and ds arent ready for. 3mths is still almost newborn IMO, and I'm sure when you look back you will feel the same. Please don't feel you aren't meeting his growing needs as there is plenty of time for that so just enjoy your little baby.
I found that when I started to wean at around 6mths a routine started to emerge organically so don't panic, it will come. You'll find things a lot different when you go back to work in 6mths so don't worry about that now, just enjoy your scrunchy baby and night time cuddles as it all goes too quickly so make the most of it
My Ds is 10 weeks and I'm kinda the same as you with sleeping routine, he goes to bed between 10/11 and then gets up at 5:30 just before DH usually gets up for work so he sometimes feeds him a bottle in the morning. If we put him to bed earlier we are back and forth to the bedroom for ages then I'm up with him at about 2:30/3, which is rubbish.
At the moment he wears proper clothes like comfy legging like trousers and dungerees, but this is because he is really tall but not chunky so is in between sizes on sleep suits.
I'm wondering about pj type things as surely t shirts would ride up as he rolls about a lot in bed, and sleeps suits are too baggy and bunch up at his face.
At the moment he sleeps in long sleeved vests in a grow bag and is always roasting when I take him out.
He's still a little baby! Dress him in whatever is comfortable and convenient.
As for bed time, just do what suits you. I think current SIDS advice is to have the baby in the same room as you for all naps and sleeps until 6mo. As others have said, it will probably become obvious when is the right time. My DD just turned 6mo and started to get fractious in the evenings downstairs with us, so I've just started putting her to bed at 7ish.
If you're happy and he's happy don't worry about what anyone else thinks.
Thank you everyone! I feel a bit stupid for asking about clothes jow - of course he doesn't know what he's wearing so why should I worry!
yellow my ds was really long until about 5 days ago, when the suddenly filled out! Now he is really chubby and bursting out of all the 3 mth sleepsuits that used to drown h
Oops, posted too soon ...
Used to drown him. Congrats on getting your 10 wk old to sleep that long - mine still wakes every 3 to4 hrs.
Good to know a routine will come .... I think we will carry in going as we are for now! I'm happy and ds seems happy
My 3 month old is in sleepsuits too!
I've done a bedtime routine for him since birth because I've got a 2yo too so I do them together- bath, story, feed, song. So he does go to sleep at 7, yes. Usually wakes twice for feeding and up for the day at 6.30-7. However I don't think routines matter and your way is fine
What everyone else said plus thought I'd add that if you want to encourage a bedtime or sort of "catch it when it first happens" it might be worth including a massage with the bath and then only having your baby in soft lights after bathtime (which for me I can only do upstairs so did have a week or so of basically living upstairs for most of the evening). I think I started this with DS1 at about 2 months but it didn't really take until about 3-4 months. DTS and DTD are now 4 months and I start bedtime at about 6pm and they are usually asleep by 7pm but still wake up 1-2am for a feed.
If you're back at work at 6 months then it might be worth "nudging" towards a routine like this.
You can dress him how you want. My ds is 9 months old and crawling/cruising about and I sometimes still dress him in babygrows in the day time.
We had no bedtime routine in tge traditional sense. Ds was with us until 6 months, he'd just sleep cuddled up with me and dp on the sofa. At 6 months we started a bath/book/cuddle routine and within a couple of days he went to sleep at 6ish without a fuss. Personally I think there is no need to push a routine for small babies.
This is interesting. I have been thinking the same sort of thing about sleep routines. Not about clothes, i tend to leave in sleep suits if we aren't doing much that day, but clothes if we are going out anywhere (not including things like the supermarket, sleepsuits for anywhere he will likely have a blanket over him the whole time!).
I think my little one has been far to unsettled so far with reflux and suspected cmpi that starting any routine would be pointless. He is pretty good at night though, after 10 when he stops his nightly 3hr screamathon, so i think when he settles down a night time routine or bed time will just sort of happen.
My 3mo wears whatever I blindly pull out of the wardrobe in a morning! I do love the cute little outfits, but sleepsuits are so much easier and she seems to have more wriggle room.
We put her to bed with us at 10ish after bath and bottle. She sleeps till 6, has a feed and then sleeps again till I wake her up at 10 (very noisy sleeper, so it's not as good as it seems! ). For me, it seems a lot more sensible to put her to bed with us. That way she gets her most solid sleep when we're sleeping, and I don't have to get up until 6, instead of 2ish if we moved everything earlier, iyswim. And if we've had a crap night, I get a lie in, otherwise I get the morning to potter about. My DH pointed out that she's still getting 10+hrs a night, and she doesn't have a watch, so how does she know what time we put her to bed?
As for naps, I go with whenever she looks tired. I tend to do most daytime naps in the sling, which she sleeps really well in, so I can control length (ie never letting her go past 2 hours).
I think the pressure is there to try to get them into a routine asap. If that's what your baby needs, then great. But some need the flexibility of just having whatever their needs are at the time met.
At 3 mths DD wore mostly sleepsuits. I started putting her in 'grown up' clothes some of the time - but it depended on my mood, where we were going and, frankly, how likely I thought it was that she would projectile vomit that day. Sleepsuits are much easier to change than gorwn up clothing...
Tok, I will be waiting for the 3-6 months suits to fit his body before the feet are to tight, it seem like constant clothes sorting just now.
With his sleeping its nothing I've done, I just go with it. Im crap at routines. Just lucky, teething is going to be a real shock to the system for me.
My ds is in jogging bottoms and vests/tshirts at the moment, but only because he has long legs and clown feet so outgrows babygrows very quickly. We are planning other dc so don't want to start chopping off the feet and not be able to reuse them later. He has a mini routine, but pretty much only so I know how much time I've got of an evening iyswim, because we all go to bed at the same time around 9/10. So i know dinner should be ready by 7 so I can eat in peace before his bath and a little quiet play before he goes to bed. He wakes at 3/4 most nights, but I am expecting night wakings for a long time as both dh and I are light sleepers and no amount of late night feeds or changing bedtimes can get him to sleep longer than those 6-7 hours. As I go to bed at the same time I can honestly say I get enough sleep!
I really wouldn't worry,babies are so changeable, who's to say you wo t start a routine only for it to be disrupted by baby teething or a growth spurt etc. Some babies take to routines early, some need that flexibility, some settle when they are weaned, others at 3 months or even 3 years. Don't stress yourself comparing to others, it'll drive you potty!
Dress him in whatever you like, I love little comfy outfits but it really doesn't matter!
My DD was the same with sleeping, as with most things, she found her own way and all of a sudden started wanting to go down at about 7pm, still doesn't sleep through but has a definite bedtime, which she developed naturally, go with the flow for now, 3 months is still very young. Best of luck
Blimey - all you people have babies that sleep for 6 or 7 hrs! Mine wakes every 2 to 3 hrs ... If he's down by 10 then he's awake at 1, 3.30 and 6 (like today!) I must be doing something wrong
My first was like that. Exhausting isn't it
DD wore babygros until she was 9 months. She never slept through the night until then either. Nor did she sleep if I tried to put her to bed any earlier than 11ish.
She is now 13 years old, doesn't wear sleepsuits, goes to bed a little earlier than 11 o'clock and sleeps through the night!
Just do what is right for you and ignore the meddling busybodies.
Tok, you are not doing anything wrong, I'm just lucky. I had a horrific pregnancy and all my ligaments are knackered, I am walking with a fine limp today and can't lift my arms properly. I think if he only slept for 2 hrs I would cope but go slightly mad
They all fall into some sort of normal sleep pattern eventually you just have to go with them.
I know of a friend of a friend that boasts her 12 week old sleeps 7-7, however she admits that she never gives her baby a bottle in the night so "she learns its, sleeping time not eating time" so gives her a dummy and leaves her to it.
Anytime I get up in the night to feed Ds I always think of this and feel so sorry for the baby. It's not someone I've ever met and people are trying to help her cause that's not right.
Id still have 22mo dd in sleepsuits.if it was socially acceptable, they are so handy! Keep him in them as long as possible. I used to put dd in white ones for bed and nice bright ones in the day, so it still felt like there was a distinction.
Bedtime wise, it sounds fine!
hi, am an expectant first timer but was a baby nanny so hope this may help.
firstly, you already sound like you have a routine and lo is thriving. why not try writing a feeding/sleeping log for a week, I am sure you will see a pattern.
if you want to try a bedtime routine then make sure he is getting quality feeds during the day so the cluster feeds are less, after his bath, do a story and quiet lullaby, then put him down, feed again before you go to bed and see what happens.
with night feeds, make sure you don't interact too much as lo will then get the wrong messages, just a low lit room, soothing tones and feed then straight back to bed.
Babies are amazing at forming their own routine but in the tiredness and stress of it all, if we don't track it, it goes unnoticed!!
as for the clothes, put him in what you want!!
good luck x
tok you really aren't doing anything wrong! it's NORMAL for babies to wake and need feeds during the night.
the others on this thread are lucky, that's all it amounts to. some babies do sleep through earlier, or need fewer night feeds. it's just the luck of the draw.
my first slept through by 6 months, having only had one night feed for a couple of months prior to that.
my second woke every 45-90 minutes ALL NIGHT until he was nearly 10 months old, and only stopped then because I finally persuaded him to take a dummy
my third was in between, but was still waking at least once a night for milk when he was nearly 2
please don't worry that you're doing things wrong just because other people do it differently, or because their baby behaves differently. you're doing a great job
We did sleepsuits til about 6 months and only then leggings and tops! Personally I thought it looked cute!
I kept all my boys in sleepsuits til nearly a year! I was in no hurry for them to be dressed like 'little men'. I wanted them to be comfy and look like babies. It's no one else's business! As long as the baby is clean, warm, dry, who the hell cares?
As for night time routine, all depends upon you and the baby. None of mine have slept through at 3 months except DS1 (who lulled me into a false sense of security and then began waking up 50 times a night when he got to be 8 months til nearly 2 !) The other 4 haven't slept through til about 7 months and all stayed downstairs with me until at least 6 months.
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