Grow old with me! The best is yet to be. Come and join the 40+ mums plus babies, toddlers etc in the snug where tea, cake and sympathy are being served.

(1000 Posts)
somewherebecomingrain Wed 02-Oct-13 06:57:11

We are 40+ mummies sharing all the highs and lows of our autumn crocus babies. Also sharing tips and information (most crying is tiredness!) and jokes. Please join us!

None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely
It's sad to grow old, but nice to ripen.

PS this thread title was created by eagleray, and she also found the quotes.

rosiedays Mon 14-Oct-13 11:20:21

We're finally on the move. .. and only an hour later than I hoped and well within the travel window i hoped for. Should arrive at tonight's resting place around 4! Inshalla.
Scarecrow. . 50/50 parenting confused currently my expectations are 90/10 Max!! Having gone from 99/1 during
Pg to 95/5 at new born. ... i don't believe parenting can be 50/50 till they get to about 10 (years not months! !)
Even then i really believe children need there mothers more. Ready for flaming but For me... accepting that at a basis genetic level it is primarily a mothers role to care for her young. (Unless you're a seahorse or penguin) gives me strength and let's me thank dh for his'help' when it happens to give. (This is NOT always easy in fog of tiredness but i try to keep it in mind) i also have to REALLY watch my tongue as i can be quick to criticise and slow to thank. It's amazing how much more dh does if i say thank you A LOT.

Typing from car so please excuse typos and ramblings... right of to rr read this morning's posts

Oh loving the music stuff... will schedule time when i get back to listen. . Also have some links to share

rosiedays Mon 14-Oct-13 11:27:18

Men 'just not getting it' I refer back to genetics. No they(most) don't. It's what sets us apart from them. smile

rosiedays Mon 14-Oct-13 11:37:59

Ied mubaric everyone. (Muslim holiday today and tomorrow) dh spent hours this morning (while I finishedpacking/ cleaning/making him fresh coffee) playing Arabic children's songs from his phone and singing with dd. (It's a bit like Xmas) was a joy to watch
I have a lot to learn if I'm to insure dd has the cultural upbringing she deserves.
Anyone else aiming teaching 2 languages?

somewherebecomingrain Mon 14-Oct-13 11:39:32

Baby some votes for John Martyn. Whinge whinge whinge... Ooh what's that... Still... Still... Still... Smiley! Ooh it's finished... Whinge whinge whinge.

rosie yes post your links. We need the stories too for 40-something mums desert island discs.

Xx

somewherebecomingrain Mon 14-Oct-13 11:40:13

Good Mubarak to you too xx

blueblackdye Mon 14-Oct-13 12:18:55

Scarecrow, Knotty, I have met only one dad who does more for his kids than his wife. But she is barely home except week ends, during year end closing, she even stays away at night, and she does not have an affair. But my brothers, and I have quite a few ! my BILs, my DH, they all leave the childcare to their spouses. No, more than childcare, education as well just sharing a little free play time when they don't go to the gym.... Arrggghhhhh

Rosie, we speak French at home only, a bit of Vietnamese too when I remember to, DS has learnt English at nursery and now at school. He sometimes mixes words but nothing serious.

A is awake, be back later

somewherebecomingrain Mon 14-Oct-13 13:52:15

bbd it looked like you were saying you and your brothers have quite a few affairs!

blueblackdye Mon 14-Oct-13 14:16:35

Oups ! That I don't know... But I hope not smile as for me, well, no affair either, would like to have one though, with my husband ! Instead of talking about kids all the time

blueblackdye Mon 14-Oct-13 22:15:03

First day back on my foot, no pain, hope it will stay the same tomorrow.
Scarecrow, I want to put my head on your shoulder and cry too. Why is it so bloody hard to talk to DH ? Too tired tonight but the moan is on its way, ladies.
Sleep well everyone.

scarecrow22 Tue 15-Oct-13 20:34:07

bless you bbd Hope your foot still improving. <virtual shoulder with comfy epaulette and bine China mug of tea>

Goat when I read your post yesterday morning and you wrote <settles in> I actually leaned back into the sofa and crossed my legs in repose! Finally was going to check out your toons but our tv/computer has men in red and white shorts (in October hmm ) running about with a pig's bladder...

Knicky thank you for sweet message. Funnily I read your bad day-good day comment and shrugged defeatistly and though "fat chance" ...and guess what? We had a totally lovely day. Ended with a really happy splashy bath (T adores bath and splashing so always makes us laugh) and reading stories all together in DD's he'd and totally no fussing about lights out. Had wine in hand before half seven. So thank you for sending happy day dust my way wink

Rosie hope journey went well and all will be okay with court case etc. I really hope you get closure on this soon. I smiled but also think v sweet how much preparation dh making for his 15 min stint in charge!

scarecrow22 Tue 15-Oct-13 20:45:55

sorry to post in parts: on mobile

Thank you too ladies for kind messages about Sunday. I've reflected why I was so ungracious when I did actually get quite a bit of rest. More importantly I do feel.considerably better since : sleep is an incredible (slightly terrifyingly powerful) restorer. Still not totally better though. This virus deserves Respect smile

Rosie I thought especially about your post, full of kindness and your wisdom as usual. I think part of the problem is applying such sensible approaches retrospectively, especially when there is 14 years in our case of history including much wonderful stuff but inevitably resentments, irritations and emotional wounds. However a useful framework with which to consider the future, though the balance will have to be a bit different to 90:10 in Scarecrow Towers wink I hasten to add by the way I do not expect 50:50! Not sure I'd even want it tbh.

right had a crap day of parenting - practically speaking, all perfectly calm and happy in my new rested and chilled mummy mode - so need to seize control of the chaos that remains. Night all

blueblackdye Wed 16-Oct-13 11:50:55

Back from GP, I am allowed to walk a little bit ! Yeah, right, I don't know about that, I only run... smile and uphill twice a day...
I have started a list of things to do, that will hopefully help me be more orgainsed and less stressed out. I feel bad to be constantly giving orders to DS and DH. I have to accept that DH's priorities are different to mines. There will never be 50:50 parenting, I'd be happy to deal with it on my own during the week but I'd like to be released of cooking during week ends. We don't eat ready made food because of the kids but maybe I should look into it.
A is back on track re sleep, she offered us last night 7 to 7 with only 1 waking at 2.30 and DH dealt with it. I feel much better today.
Have nursery visit this afternoon as the previous appointments were cancelled at the very last minute. I really don't know what to do, A is now well settled, very happy, sleeping and eating, I trust the staff, although her nappy rash keeps coming back every week after 1 day at nursery, they do change her on my request every 2 hours though, Metanium has not proven to be better than Sudocream, will now try Bepanthen.
Bought her a sleeveless top of fake fur, she is ready to go to Courchevel !

scarecrow22 Wed 16-Oct-13 14:00:40

8.45 am, Scarecrow Tower

T: WHAAAA WHHHAAAA WWWWHHHHHAAAAAA
DD: Mummy, mummy, MUMMY
T: WHAAA WHHAAA WHHHHHAAAAA
DD: T's cryyyyying. ahhhhh, mummmmy: I don't liiiiike it
T: WHHHAAA WWHHHHAAAA WWWWHHHHHHAAAAAAAA
DD: He's cryyyying. Make it STOP MUMMY. AAAAHHHHHHHHHH.

you get the idea confused

Was definitely a day to Get Out Of The House just to Get Out Of The House.

later took T to his first music class - with DD as her cm.got flu this week - and had a v happy time. Until he cried and fell asleep in last ten mins. Bless.

<eyes gin. settles for coffee>

Hooray that bbd is feeling a bit better!

And scarecrow I apologise but you did make me laugh!

Took BG to paediatrician yesterday. Hmm. Apparently all would be fine if only we had him in a routine . And also everyone knows that babies don't always sleep through the night! They grow out of it, Mum (since when was I mum to you??!) okaaaay... If only someone had told me earlier! So the fact that he is practically a Gina Ford baby (much to my chagrin, I would LOVE a flexible child) doesn't count as routine, and the fact that he is actually asleep when he is screaming at night... No cause for concern otherwise? When I mention explosive diarrhoea almost daily? That e has only gained 50 grams since August??
Fortunately I am good at being annoying so they have agreed to intolerance testing. But not without a lecture on mothers who insist on medicalising their children. confused oh well...
BG was naturally much much better yesterday and at his sunniest for the dr! And today he is just scrummily affectionate. He fell in love with a kitten and was giving it the nicest, gentlest hugs. Found out later that the kitten doesn't like children and stays well away usually. smile

Re intolerance testing - we have to have the sepcimen at the hospital within am hour. Looks like DH might be spending his strike day tomorrow running around after BG with a specimen pot!! grin

cyclecamper Wed 16-Oct-13 15:35:52

Aww, sweet BG with the kitten. My sister used to scream in her sleep until she was about 10. Persistent explosive diarrhoea and poor weight gain seam to merit investigation, you would think! I'm slightly fed up with being treated like a hysterical mother if I raise any concerns. We're going to see the Dr this afternoon to check that the persistent cough and vomiting is nothing to worry about. I would like to be able to put him down in the day without him throwing up or screaming with wind.

I'm glad your foot is improving BBD

Hope you had a good journey and enjoyed Eid Rosie

Scarecrow that sounds exhausting!

Did someone set up a Facebook group? I find facebook a bit more manageable than mumsnet at the moment!

scarecrow22 Wed 16-Oct-13 17:13:08

cycle pm knottyhair with your fb details

so sorry baby camper still struggling with wind etc. Do hope you soon find help.

scarecrow22 Wed 16-Oct-13 19:56:49

Poor DD scooted.into a wall this afternoon. Blood everywhere from her nose. On her, on me and on T. Poor mite am wondering how bruised age will be in the morning sad I did manage to keep blood off her bunny though. I figured I could wash and dry the baby quicker than the all important rabbit!

littleredmonkey Wed 16-Oct-13 20:23:30

Sliding in and out with waves to all. Baby m been terribly ill nearly two weeks. Collapsed at nursery with a fever. Was fine when I took him. I have been off work all week. I am also ill. Drippy bum. Sorry graphic. Sloping off need sleep

scarecrow22 Wed 16-Oct-13 21:45:22

so.sorry LRM do take care of yourself too.

EagleRay Wed 16-Oct-13 21:54:32

Oh poor Baby Monkey and poor you too LRM Hope you both get better asap flowers

Oh no Scarecrow poor little DD - these accidents are part of growing up but still horrible nevertheless. Glad you saved bunny though! And love the Scarecrow Tower dialogue

So sorry you're not being taken seriously Cyclecamper - seems to be a recurring theme with baby digestion problems sad. DD threw up a fair bit with her cough in recent weeks but it's stopped now. Really hope you get more help and support v soon from the docs.

Same for you Goat - how awful that the paediatrician isn't taking your concerns seriously. And being called 'Mum' too angry Good luck to DH with the poo pot!

Glad to hear you have the green light from the GP BBD but don't overdo it! Nappy rash is curious - we've been lucky with that so far. However, have had other nappy problems at nursery as DD is now in cloth nappies but the ones I've provided haven't been put on very well which means they will leak, so have given up for now and let them put her in disposables (less washing for me!)

Now that the naming ceremony is out of the way, I have to start job hunting! It's been depressing so far - virtually nothing being advertised and have swung from worrying about having to work 5 days a week to worrying that I may not get a job at all. There are some permanent jobs around, but comparitively badly paid (compared to the contract work I normally do). So bad in fact that I wouldn't be able to cover the mortgage and nursery fees, let alone anything else! Have decided that I would rather remortgage and spend time with DD than work for nothing and have very little time with her, at least in the short term. It's early days and trying not to get despondent.

cyclecamper Wed 16-Oct-13 22:28:52

That sounds rotten LRM. Hope you both recover soon.

Poor DD Scarecrow. Facial things don't half bleed, don't they? Hope she's not too dented tomorrow.

We saw the Dr and the Dietician today. The good news is that the cold and cough hasn't landed on Baby C's chest. The bad news is that it seems to have landed on me instead. Both the Dr and the Dietician suggested weaning, so I'm considering it. I think it's a bit of an easy answer for a baby that isn't great at gaining weight. I'm not sure that he needs it yet, but I might give it a go. I was interested on how puree-heavy the leaflet was that I was given. Baby-led weaning has clearly not impinged on the NHS consciousness. The idea of avoiding sweet things for the first few weeks has bypassed them too. Lots of fruit and babyrice. They were supportive of vegetarian weaning though, so that was good.

Good luck with the job hunting EagleRay. I have to start looking as well. It's difficult. I need a job that I can take BabyC with me. The jobs that are near enough want you to have your own car and pay badly and the ones further away don't want you to have your own baby. In addition, my Ofsted registration has lapsed, because I couldn't afford to renew it when I wasn't working and my printer isn't talking to the wifi, so I can't print out a CV, even if I manage to get my head together enough to update it. Ho Hum.

PuddingAndHotMilk Wed 16-Oct-13 23:27:34

Hi all. Struggling to keep up while at SIL house but wanted to say hi. Sorry for all the illnesses and tribulations. I'm hoping BabyPud and I have escaped the sickness bug that DN had this evening sad
Heading home tomorrow and will try to catch up with everyone's news. Hope you all gave a good night thanks

somewherebecomingrain Wed 16-Oct-13 23:56:55

Oh god scarecrow hope she is ok.

lrm sorry you and baby m are sick hope you feel better soon.

cycle Do you think blw would work for early weaning? I did it v tentatively with baby somewhere from 5 months or so - just veg till 6 mo.

eagle oh god work. Like you i'll be looking from scratch. I did this last time when the economy was in the shit and I really had to dig deep. It forces you to hone those job seeking skills.Although you prob don't need to like I needed to. Anyway economy better now so much more hope of lucrative part time work. But we went to the dogs a bit financially cause I didn't want to work full time and couldn't find enough freelance. I got to spend lots more time with my ds and it was worth it.

pud fingers crossed you escape the Lurgy.

AFM ds and baby some have bath together. Baby some's incredibly fat smooth bottom causes her to slither and turn face down in the water. Ds cackles this evil cackle.

Me: don't laugh she could drown and die
Ds: I don't want to have a sister. I want her to drown.

I got upset. Then decided to calm down. Is this textbook? He's not Kevin is he. No.

knottyhair Thu 17-Oct-13 05:46:02

Blimey, this thread moves fast! I've attempted to catch up, hope I don't miss anyone.
BBD, glad you got the OK from the GP but don't try to do too much too soon easier said than done with 2 DCs. Hope the nursery visit went OK.
Scarecrow, hope your DD is OK! It's so scary, especially when there's blood involved. DS scooted into our gate when he was about 5, and split his lip, which looked worse than it actually was, and he seemed OK, until DP picked him up, saw his mouth and shouted "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD" which scared DS and he panicked.
Goat, sorry the paediatrician didn't take you seriously. And I also hate it when people call me "Mum", and when they call Rosa "baby", as in "is Baby eating well?" angry. Hope you get the specimen and some answers soon. Love the kitten photo!
Cycle, good news about baby Cycle's cold & cough but sorry you've got it. Re: weaning, I weaned both of my DCs at around 5 months and DD currently has a mix of spoon fed stuff and finger food. I did just veg with a bit of fruit at the beginning. But I think there are loads of good BLW books around if you want to go down that route. PM me your FB details and I'll send you a friend request, then I can add you to the group!
LRM, poor baby M! That must have been very frightening. Hope you both feel better soon.
Eagle, good luck with the job hunting, hope something comes along soon.
Somewhere, that must have been upsetting to hear that comment from your DS but it's pretty normal as far as I know. Your lovely DS is still so little and I think it's so hard for them to deal with a massive change. I know my friend found it improved massively when she spoke to her DS about his feelings and just acknowledged them and let him talk to her about how he was feeling, e.g. if they say "I hate the baby", rather than just saying "oh no you don't, you love the baby" or "you musn't say that", she would say stuff like "it must be hard for you to see Mummy spending lots of time with DD", and he started opening up a bit more and seemed to feel better. And things just improved over time, as the baby got older as well. Sorry if you know all this already, feel free to ignore!

AFM, DP & I are going out tonight, shockingly for the first time since Rosa was born. We have left her with my parents for the day a few times, but tonight my friend will be doing her tea/bath/bottle/bed, and I'm really nervous! Rosa loves my friend, and DS will be here as well, so I'm sure she'll be fine...

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