Routines, ours has begun!

[MamaPingu]

So after a terrible night with my 3 week old son I have decided its time to try start a routine. I foolishly allowed him to have two 4 hour sleeps in the evening, then he was up ever hour crying for food from 11pm until 7am

Feeling hopeful so far about this routine business as he's been awake for 4 hours straight today and I've been limiting his naps to 2 hours at a time. Then I'll be waking him for a bath and bottle before bed tonight, it's looking promising so far

When did you start a routine, how long did it take to work and do you have any tips?

So far I've heard of limiting naps, getting some sunshine in the afternoon (carefully!) and bath before bed every night.

[Rooners]

I have never started a routine and never needed to with any of my three children. I think you're nuts!

He's only 3 weeks old.

[KittyMcAllister]

I am a routine queen, but I think 3 weeks is possibly a little early, just because they're still finding their feet feeding wise and lots can change. 6 weeks might be a bit more realistic. I followed the Baby Whisperer's routines, they seemed to make a lot of sense to me.

[Tiredemma]

I think 3 weeks is too young.

I have a 3 week old and I'm just going with the flow.

I made the mistake of trying to put ds2 into a routine when he was a baby and felt a failure when he didnt 'conform'.

How often is your DS feeding?

[MamaPingu]

I probably am nuts haha, it's just he used to have the two 4 hour sleeps through the night and it was so much nicer! I was happier, less stressed out and we had nice play time in the day when he was awake!

He seems to have swapped and now is wide awake all night

(Ps. He's not a proper 3 week old if you know what I mean, he looks and acts like he's 2 months old haha. He's a heavy boy, feeds lots and has been holding his head ridiculously well since birth and plays! My cousins baby was only 5lbs and has only started doing all these things at 4 months)

[MamaPingu]

He feeds every 3-4 hours during the day, and every hour through the night. Usually having 5oz per feed

[Melonbreath]

Started a loose bedtime routine at 8 weeks. When dd was sleepy it was bath followed by a feed to sleep. You can set your watch by dd now. Nap times are non existent but at 5 she shouts for her dinner and if she isn't in the bath by quarter to 7 there is hell to pay

[kittencuddles]

My 4 month old doesn't stay awake for four hours during the day. That's far too long and you'll end up with an overtired, cranky baby.

[AnythingNotEverything]

He's probably only just realised he's been born, and it's completely normal to be nocturnal at this age.

I'd be tempted to try and encourage more awake time in the day. Don't stress yourself out trying to call it a routine. If you don't get baby's buy in it could be a very long uphill struggle!

[Oceansurf]

I'm the queen of routine (and firmly believe babies should sleep through once past 4 months ish)

but seriously..he's 3 weeks old!???!!

Even I wouldn't be doing anything til 6-7 weeks. At 3 weeks, I'd still be simply sniffing their head and snuggling them!

Also, babies at that age really should be sleeping every 2 hours.

[PotteringAlong]

Sleep breads sleep.

Bigger naps in the day mean longer sleep at night.

He's 3 weeks old - he's meant to be awake at night!

[MamaPingu]

I do cuddle him and sniff his head and things! I'm not trying to get rid of him, I'm just desperate to get even a minute of sleep at night! He's up all night every night, and I'm really struggling to drop off to sleep during the day.

I'm not meaning a strict routine just something to try get him used to sleeping at night cause it's driving me mad I'm exhausted, I don't have anyone to help me to take it in turns getting up or anything

[MoneyMug]

Can't you sleep during the day when he does?

[roweeena]

I started routine at 8weeks. I agree with others that sleep actually breeds sleep and there is nothing more horrendous than trying to get an over tired baby to sleep. Chill and go with the flow for a few more weeks - you are both finding your feet

[SoulTrain]

You need to sleep when he does in the day and remember he's three weeks old, thee are people on here who's babies aren't sleeping at 3 years old.

This is what babies do.

[CreatureRetorts]

You're not letting him have anywhere near enough day sleep. You will rue it in a few days.

I wouldn't bother with a routine at 3 weeks except having clear day/nights.

But if you must, read gina ford or baby whisperer because they'll tell you that 4 hour awake time is far too long!

[purrpurr]

Nuts. Appreciate the need for sleep and for routine and some control over the chaos, but I think you might end up chasing your tail. Good luck with it!

[QTPie]

Hi

We started a loose routine at 3 weeks (because for about 5 days DS had been screaming 4/6 hours each evening - wasn't hungry, wasn't wind, wouldn't sleep, we were holding him so he wasn't alone... Eventually worked out it must be "over tiredness"). Within 2/3 days of starting the routine, the evening crying stopped and we had a normal baby :).

At 3 weeks we just started a "bedtime routine": when he woke, for a feed, at about 7/8pm, we rushing him for a quick bath, quick massage, dressed, big long sleepy breast feed, good wind, then settled in crib by any means (cuddles, patting, rocking, shushing). This really helped so much: gave him "night cues".

We also introduced a daily walk after his mid-morning feed and I started noticing and encouraging regular feed times. So he was being proactively fed, never got starving hungry and was having his lion's share of milk during the day. He dropped to one night feed at 5 weeks and then slept through from 12 weeks. During the night I only fed outright crying: I resettled grumbling/whingjng without feeding.

Generally DS would nap in the afternoon, but didn't really manage regular naps until he was 6 months.

DS was a VERY content baby: never over-hungry, never over-tired, etc. and I was a happy mother (who wasn't sleep deprived and knew what was happening).

So I don't think that you are nuts for starting a routine at 3 months: I think that if it helps you and it works for DS, then it is great. You just need to evolve a routine which works for both if you ;)

[MamaPingu]

I hadn't woken him up for those 4 hours, he was just wide awake and happy as larry it seemed! He was having a good look around the entire time even when he was in his pram which normally sends him straight to sleep! :S

[rockybalboa]

You're wasting your time. Most babies are decidedly erratic up to about 8w when thinks start to calm down a bit. You might be keen on a routine but he won't be, just ride it out, nap when he does and it will get better. Good luck.

[Thurlow]

I started at 3 weeks old, neither me nor DD were coping well without one so I thought I'd give it a go. She loved it.

I followed Jo Frost's cornerstone routine, which was just suggested times and very much like the EASY routine. So I picked a day, we got up naturally at her time, and from there I offered feeds every 3 hours and encouraged her to sleep every hour or so (or whatever it was, I can't remember too well ) DD was the kind of baby who preferred having her needs met before she realised she had them, though, so naturally took to a routine very quickly. We started bedtime routine too, and though she was far too young to get it, it slipped into our daily routine easily and I think made things easier when she hit that stage a few weeks later of wanting to go to bed slightly earlier.

There's no right or wrong. If you want to try a bit more structure to your day then do. But as the others have said, 4 hours a wake is far, far too long at his age! Most of the routines at that age work around a 3-hour cycle, so within each 3 hour period the baby has eaten, 'played' (i.e. been awake!) and slept.

[ScottishDiblet]

We introduced a routine when our baby was 6 weeks
Old and it really worked for us. We used the book the sensational baby sleep plan by Alison Scott-wright and it has been amazing. Out daughter has slept through the night for at least 11 hours since 8 weeks. Good luck!

[QTPie]

You really don't know until you try.

I have no idea how much is nature and how much is nurture with my DS being very happy to adapt to a routine at 3 weeks. Ever since he has been a very active, very good eater, very good sleeper (if you excuse bad teething between 13 and 19 months...). Has he just always had the right nature to be that way (even, with the encouragement of a routine, at 3 weeks) OR has being reassured by a routine (albeit one that was mostly born of his own patterns) since 3 weeks helped him to continue to be a good sleeper and good eater? Who knows...

QT

[Tiredemma]

I really tortured myself with DS2- really tried to establish a routine and found myself with a demonic infant turned toddler who never slept through night until he was 3 years old.

When I found out I was PG with DC3 I have to say that I had this overwhelming 'fear' that I would have the same experience- she couldnt be more different (so far)-
last night she slept soundly from 8pm until 3am- had a bottle and change and back to sleep until 8am this morning.

Its early days- im sure she will establish a pattern at some point- I think what im trying to say is dont bully yourself into finding a strict routine, you will stress yourself out-

[Oceansurf]

I wasn't having a dig, honestly! The first 6 weeks are hard. Bloody hard. And that's with support. Are you totally on your own? Do you not even have a neighbour/friend/family member who could watch over him for a couple of hours in the day whilst you sleep?

It's just worth bearing in mind that it does get better. But I'd be amazed to hear that anyone had a routine at 3 weeks that actually worked. They're still in the womb metaphorically speaking! You just have to go with it unfortunately.

A walk out everyday definitely helped - you and the baby.

It will get better! Hang in there.