I am a professional, self employed mum of 2 beautiful children.
My job is emotionally and mentally hard to the point it has affected my own mental health. Its isolating, holds great responsibility and at times extremely scary. It is also highly rewarding! All my friends and family don't know how I have done what I do and openly admit there is no way they could do it even for a day.
I'm enjoying being on maternity leave so much that its made me realise how stressful my job is and how much it affects me. I went back yesterday just for a day and came home crying, highly anxious and thinking I can't be this person anymore. I don't want to come home each day and take hours to come down from work and stay awake all night stressing. All of this detracts from my children and family life.
I'm lucky, dh is the main earner. He's amazingly supportive. I need to work for me and I want to earn but the thought of a tea shop or office job or supermarket with colleagues and chat. Limited stress where I can just walk out and go home leaving it all to someone else is lovely!
I'm scared I will regret it. I'm frightened of being a disappointment to my family and I will never earn as much as I could if I keep doing what I do now.
What's your thoughts and experiences on this? I need some outside perspective.
I left teaching last year, which I was struggling to balance with family life. I can't do nothing, I'm doing bits and pieces, but I can honestly say the whole family has a better quality of life now. I feel like a different person.
Sounds like you know deep down that you are done with this.
If you haven't missed it once the whole time you were on mat leave then you are unlikely to miss it in a few years if you can be gainfully employed in a rewarding role elsewhere. Write down all the things you hate about your current job. Stash it somewhere safe and then walk away from it all. Do something else, life is too short. If you are the new Princess of Wales in waiting, then I am sorry to say that you might be stuck with it. But if whatsherface married to Edward, Sophie(?) can be mostly invisible, so can you.
Damn I've been outed . Yes I really am that beautiful, rich and a princess ( in my small little mind).
I mentioned it to my mum tonight and she was horrified! She thinks giving up will be silly because from a practical view its a good option for childcare, well paid etc but she fails to understand the emotional impact.