Toddler enjoys naughty corner

(12 Posts)
Lala29 Sat 14-Sep-13 23:46:24

We have just started using the naughty corner for DD, who is 2 in a couple of weeks. Opted for corner, rather than step, as she likes sitting on steps, so we thought we'd go for smth different. First few times, there were tears and she didn't like it. Now she often takes herself off there at the tiniest telling off. So a few times I put her there for whacking our elderly, deaf dog. Very sternly told her off, put her there facing wall, explained why she was there, left for 2 mins. Came back, told her why she was there again, asked to say sorry to dog, which she did. Cuddles all round and carry on with day. Today she was looking like she was about to terrorise the dog, I just gently reminded her we have to be nice to dog, next thing I knew, she sat in naughty corner.
Occasionally she seems to just take herself off there for a little think and then carries on playing. The interesting thing is that despite seemingly enjoying it there, she does then do whatever it is she was meant to do in the first place (eg wash hands). It's like she takes time to process the situation in there.
But what do I do? I can't have her enjoying the punishment? Equally, I don't want her to sit in naughty corner when I just gently tell her off or say no. I am anti smacking (didn't used to be, but then had my own child and now can't and won't do it).

If you've read this far, thank you and please help me discipline her. She is generally very good, but, as with a children, not 100% perfect!

RobotHamster Sat 14-Sep-13 23:50:15

Rather than having a specified naughty corner, when she is misbehaving just physically remove her from the situation. Don't call it naughty abything... But if she does do something like tormenting the dog just pick her up and move her away. If you say anything make it short and sweet. As little attention as possible is key.

iheartdusty Sat 14-Sep-13 23:57:10

at 2y/o you don't need to punish!

you said it yourself - It's like she takes time to process the situation in there. That's exactly what you need!

Remember, the idea is that she does what you want her to do, and she understands why she should do it.
NOT that she is scared, or feels bad, or 'suffers' (even a little) to learn the lesson.

so it sounds very very positive so far.

Lala29 Sat 14-Sep-13 23:57:11

I did used to ignore bad behaviour and remove where possible, but it doesn't necessarily work, which is why we started with the naughty corner. We just call it corner actually to her, not naughty corner. I do think she is at an age where she can understand and needs consequences for her actions, not just removal as you would with a baby.

hettienne Sat 14-Sep-13 23:58:36

Seriously, she isn't even 2 years old and you want to punish her?

The aim of discipline with a tiny child isn't to make them cry. If she just needs time out of the situation or a few moments to think and calm down without being distressed then isn't that a good thing?

Lala29 Sat 14-Sep-13 23:59:43

Thanks iheartsusty. That's encouraging that you think her reaction to it is fine.

Lala29 Sun 15-Sep-13 00:16:01

hettienne I do want her to know that her actions have consequences and ones she doesn't necessarily enjoy big that's punishment, then yes, I think she is at an age where she is capable if understanding it.

I just don't want her to feel like she is being punished when I so much as say no (ie just take herself off to the naughty corner). But if she is just processing what's happened and why she is being told off there, then I guess that's ok?

zippey Sun 15-Sep-13 01:03:23

I also echo that she may be too young to be punished, but she is your child and you will know her. I have a 2.3 year old and we have never had to use a naughty corner. Maybe we will in the future but, if our DD behaves in a way we think she shouldn't, we just explain it to her, why she should stop (in your case "dog is frightened, you need to be nice to doggy"). If she doesn't stop, then we try and distract her by taking her away from the situation.

Im not sure punishment is a good idea at this age. Im not convinced they really know what they are doing.

cravingcake Sun 15-Sep-13 07:04:09

Rather than using the phrase naughty corner (for yourself) try thinking of it as her time out corner. You place her there when the situation calls for it. She places herself there when she needs a few moments to think/process what you have said. I would be very happy with that situation - you have created an area where she is comfortable to go to but understands the basic concept that it is time out from the situation she shouldnt have done.

Only other thing would be to change the way you say something to her, rather than 'no, dont smack the dog' try something like 'remember we pat the dog nicely'.

Well done, i just hope i can get my DS to understand as well.

She's far too young. You need to adopt a more positive approach. So for example, whacking the dog - have you shepn her exactly how to stroke the dog? Keep very close to her when she's with the dog (as you should anyway) and keep saying "stroke like this" then stroke. Then when she copies, exaggerate the praise. Toddlers love to please!

They live in the moment, sticking them in a corner to reflect is, quite frankly, hilarious. Toddlers do not reflect. My nearly 4 year old understands time out, my nearly 2 year old does not.

It's not about discipline - it is about demonstrating what you should do and she will copy. Why would you put her in a naught corner for not washing her hands confused

Also the illusion of choice can start to work well now. So if you say "come and wash your hands" and she says no or doesn't, try saying "do you want to wash your hands at this sink or this sink?". So either way she washes her hands - which is your goal here.

I use these techniques (well different ones with the older one) and my two are generally well behaved grin takes some effort though.

matana Sun 15-Sep-13 09:16:23

We have had time out since ds was about 2 but reserve it for violence only as he has been through stages of biting, hitting and kicking. He needs to know it's unacceptable. We use it maybe only once or twice a month tbh. He also knows he must say sorry to whoever he has hurt, so he learns forgiveness from us too. He went through a stage of putting himself there but got over it. The important thing is that they calm down.

Lala29 Sun 15-Sep-13 09:26:08

Thanks everyone for your opinions. Lots to think about.

creatureRetorts, of course she has been shown how to stroke the dog nicely, but every now and then, she walks up to the dog and starts whacking her for no reason, probably to wake her up. Something that's obviously unacceptable with a sleeping, old, deaf dog and could potentially be dangerous for her. She doesn't get put in the naughty corner for not washing her hands, but for throwing a tantrum and screaming at being told/asked to wash her hands. I'll try the choice approach though, sounds like a good idea.

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