My teenage son keeps stealing from us! Help!

(3 Posts)
Nancyclancy Sat 14-Sep-13 12:32:30

My ds is almost 14. A couple of years ago he went through a phase of stealing from us. Loose change that was lying about and money from my purse, dh wallet.
We tried talking to him and explaining that unless he asked permission he was stealing. We've yelled at him, taken things away, tried giving him pocket money for chores etc But nothing worked.

Eventually I took him to a police station and he was spoken to by a policeman who was fantastic. He showed my ds the cells (they were empty) and the consequences he would face if he continued. He also said that the reaon I had taken him in is because we care for him etc etc

2 years pass and he's been superb until about a month ago! I started to notice the odd bit of money disappearing but thought I'd been mistaken. I really didn't think he would dare do it again.
Anyway it kept happening and I confronted him, he admitted to it and I hit the roof, told him to get out of my sight. Eventually we discussed it with him, told him we were bitterly disappointed and that if it ever happened again I'd ring the police. But this time they can take him away and he'd have to deal with whatever thy decided to do with him.

We've continued to give him pocket money for chores on a weekly basis. We did open an account for him and paid his money straight in, but because we are rural it didn't work. So he gets about a fiver per week in his hand.

Then just when I think things can't get any worse, I found out this morning that he used my bank card to pay for some apps. I had a go and he just said that I could take some money from his money box!! Then he stormed out.

I am at my wits end with him. I really do not no what to do!
He is difficult to motivate and is generally a pain in the arse at the moment.
I've taken his iPod/xbox away as he doesn't have any sense of responsibility or respect for us or our money. But I really do not know what else I can do to make him realise!! Help!!

Nancyclancy Sat 14-Sep-13 12:33:39

Just thought I'd mention that we have spoken to him about bullying etc but he isn't being bullied. He's more then happy to go to school and has lots of friends!

Notmyidea Sat 14-Sep-13 13:27:20

I have a twelve-year-old who steals, if anything I might just try your Police idea if there's a next time. I think if you threatened to involve the police next time then you need to see it through, even if you don't follow through to the point of pressing charges. They might be able to offer more support. What does he spend his money on, are there any clues there. (with my dd there's a fair bit of buying little presents in a bid to make other girls like her and a bit of comfort-eating. It's really about self-esteem.

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