DS is 27 months old and DD is 7 months old. DS's issues with mealtimes started before I fell pregnant with DD but have escalated over recent months. He had food allergies (mostly now outgrown) so his diet was limited for the 1st year of his life but he was always a good eater - it was just his diet was a bit restricted.
I have always been a firm believer that children regulate their own intake and do not always need to eat a full meal. My only rule is that DS try what is on his plate. Mealtimes are generally a main course (pasta, mince and potatoes, stew etc) followed by yogurt with fruit or pureed fruit (he is very fussy about whole fruit, liking only pineapple and melon so I confess to giving him those fruit pots to add a bit of variety). I never stress about him not eating a meal and just take the plate away, offering fruit and yogurt as usual afterwards even if he hasn't eaten much mains.
However.. It has now become a battleground. He looks at the meal and refuses. I say it's fine and take the plate away and lift him off the chair. He then throws a tantrum saying the plate is his. I put him back on the chair and he will start mashing the food up or bashing his cutlery. Or, worst still, take a mouthfull and then spit it all out. I then take the plate away, still calm and tell him he can go play as his meal time is finished. He will then start wailing for cuddles or playing up whilst I try to eat and DD has hers (the play area is near enough to the kitchen table that I can see him) so he is continually getting attention for his negative behaviour.
Today I had enough as am loaded with the cold and instead of letting him down from the table, I made him stay seated as it was easier to ignore his antics IYSWIM? I made it clear that although he was not eating, myself and DD were and so he had to stay there. I then ignored him while he screamed blue murder, wailing for his Daddy. When he had moments of calm I would engage in light hearted conversation with him but he would quickly start having a tantrum again, at which point I would start casually chatting with DD.
I feel like I am making the dinner table a battleground but I don't know how else to deal with it in a way that I can ignore his naughty behaviour safely. Any advice would be welcomed as I am feeling like such a failure. Thanks!
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Trying to implement stress free mealtime but DS wont have any of it.
8 replies
abigboydidit · 12/09/2013 18:17
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