2mo baby screams when dad puts her to bed

(6 Posts)
june2013 Wed 11-Sep-13 09:09:29

She had a evening crying peak around week 6/7 and would howl regardless of who put her to sleep. That suddenly stopped and bc bedtime became easier I was doing it alone for a while to give dh a break and recover for work. So I did bed time alone for about a week. Dh tried this week bc I am supposed to go out thurs evening. Monday night she screamed but he finally succeeded. Last night after 40mins of screams, tears, rage etc he cracked and i took her.

Can we persist with dad putting her to bed. She went through howling evenings a few weeks ago and she seems fine now so it can't have damaged her!

Or is she too small for me to go out and leave them?

Fairylea Wed 11-Sep-13 09:11:26

What is your bedtime routine like? Where does she sleep?

june2013 Wed 11-Sep-13 19:33:16

Bath time at 18.45 and bring her to dark room (our bedroom) from 7.15pm where I rock her gently til she falls asleep. Over the course of a week it got gradually better and I had to do less and less to get her to sleep (less rocking / singing / standing), until eventually she was asleep in 5mins.

Husband usually there for the bath and this week he has done bath time alone.

I breastfeed and sometimes feed her after the bath, usually as a top up so that she sleeps as late as possible into the night. Last night husband tried to give her a bottle (expressed) but she refused to take it - she has never refused a bottle before.

It's very possible that she's going through a phase and that if I was putting her to sleep she'd be equally upset... but it is heart breaking to hear her cry like this and resist the urge to take her from DH... I could just put her to bed myself, but why shouldn't she get used to her dad?

Help! I'm listening to her crying as I type!

llamallama Wed 11-Sep-13 19:37:20

I think she is too little, she wants her mummy. If you don't have to leave her, why can't you do bed times until she is older?

My DD is 3 months old and barely tolerates 10 minutes being held by her father, let alone anything else. She is all about mummy and boobs right now. But it doesn't bother us, there is plenty of time for them to bond as she gets bigger.

Don't listen to your baby scream, she is screaming for you, so why wouldn't you listen to that and give her what she needs?

I would do it myself (and did). 2 months is tiny IMO.

I went out from 6-9 months I think - a 6 month old is much different to a tiny almost newborn.

Fairylea Wed 11-Sep-13 21:31:35

Have you tried a dummy?

Both my dc have settled quite early from a pick up / put down approach and a dummy. I would feed them (I formula fed) in a chair by their cot when they were already in their sleeping bag getting snug and warm and then when they finished their bottle I'd pop a dummy in and put them down. If they began to cry I'd immediately pick them up and rock until they were calm and try again... and again and so on until they went to sleep. Both slept through from about 8 weeks.

I couldn't leave a baby to cry. I think you need a new approach with dh as something isn't working. Ideally both of you should be able to put her to bed but at this age just getting any sleep is a bonus!

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