11 yr old DS masturbation. Is this normal?

(56 Posts)
Yakky Tue 03-Sep-13 15:45:01

Just caught my DS masturbating. He was in his bedroom and I just walked in with some ironed t shirts to put in his drawer.
I was shocked and didn't know what to say. He seemed quite nonchalant about it.
If he were 15/16 then I would understand it, but 11!
Is this normal or just far too early?
and what do I say to him about it?

vix206 Tue 03-Sep-13 15:54:57

I don't have any advice on what to say about it but I can say it sounds totally within the realms of normal to me.

meditrina Tue 03-Sep-13 15:55:38

It's normal, and you say nothing.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Tue 03-Sep-13 15:56:53

Yup, bog-standard normal. Leave him to it, supply tissues and a bin (to be emptied by him) by the bedside, and knock before entering in future. smile

Yakky Tue 03-Sep-13 15:59:36

But 11, really???
At that age I was only interested in bikes and books, not remotely sexual at all.
Am I just old and out of date?

Weegiemum Tue 03-Sep-13 16:03:07

My 11.6 ds has been spending a lot of time in his room recently "playin Lego". Sounds like its time to buy tissues.

ggirl Tue 03-Sep-13 16:03:10

god really , my ds turns 11 next week !
he isn't developed at all

thefirstmrsrochester Tue 03-Sep-13 16:03:11

Totally normal in my house.

Selks Tue 03-Sep-13 16:03:40

It's normal. And I'd knock before going in.

TwoStepsBeyond Tue 03-Sep-13 16:05:16

All children develop at different rates, some of DSs friends have had girlfriends for years, but at 12 he still won't even talk to a girl!

However, I always knock before going into his room, have supplied tissues - he thought because our cat had just died, that I had given them to him in case he was upset! I just said, "one day they'll come in handy".

Please don't say anything that makes him self-conscious, its totally normal.

Yakky Tue 03-Sep-13 16:15:15

Blimey, I thought it was way too early to be having THAT conversation yet!
I will tell him that from now on I will respect his privacy and always knock.
and I will also explain to him that this is totally normal. I don't want him to think he's done something wrong.

ggirl Tue 03-Sep-13 16:26:59

so are these 11 yr olds that masturbate physically developed at all , ds still very much a little boy but he's not quite 11 yet
just preparing myself

joanofarchitrave Tue 03-Sep-13 16:29:43

Yakky it doesn't sound like he needs an explanation if he was nonchalant...

FWIW I was a 'regular' by the time I was 10.

DramaAlpaca Tue 03-Sep-13 16:31:54

As the mother of three boys I'd say it's totally normal.

And say nothing, just provide a box of tissues in his bedroom to hopefully stop him using his socks grin.

Weegiemum Tue 03-Sep-13 16:33:07

My ds is 11.6, and recently got very tall, also is developing hairy legs! I've no idea about "other" development, he's very private about aths/showers and I respect that.

flossymuldoon Tue 03-Sep-13 17:08:28

Oh my goodness.
I have a son.
I am going to have to supply tissues.
I still have a long time to go before he is 11 but time is whizzing by fast.

I need to go lay down on a darkened room (and before you ask, not to masturbate but to recover from the vision in my head!)

lljkk Tue 03-Sep-13 17:11:10

I start knocking when they get shy about changing in front of others, so maybe 8-9yo. I ask them to knock on my door, too.

My eldest is nearly 14 & the most talk we've had was me asking him to put his own sheets in the washer if they should need it.
He doesn't even seem to need to do that. No idea what his strategy is, but don't need to know, either, thankfully.

lljkk Tue 03-Sep-13 17:12:02

ps: I am pretty sure that 12.5 yo is about the avg age for first male ejaculation. So just 11 is not freakishly young.

eggsandwich Tue 03-Sep-13 17:15:51

absolutely normal at that age, my ds is 13 years old and has special needs and he has been doing that for the last couple of years, we've finally got him to take himself off to his bedroom if he wants to do that, we have told him its ok to do that but go to your bedroom if you want to do it. Might I suggest knocking on his door before entering his room to stop any awkardness.

hettienne Tue 03-Sep-13 17:22:36

Many children masturbate from toddlerhood.

mumofthemonsters808 Tue 03-Sep-13 17:23:07

Glad I read this post no way would I think it began at this age, DS is only little but at least I now know.

stephrick Tue 03-Sep-13 17:39:46

I have always knocked on door before entering since they were 10, mainly for the reason of them changing. I think it's important for them to have their own private space. And of course boys will wank, I know that they will do it and I don't to have an awkward moment.

Coconutty Tue 03-Sep-13 17:43:49

Yeah, normal. I've never actually witnessed it though just found the evidence. Lets just say I have had to wash DS2 dressing gown a lot

Cjilly Tue 03-Sep-13 18:40:02

I can't stop laughing! Mostly because all this never crossed my mind that one day my son will be doing this.. I'll leave it to DH to deal with it, although maybe not as he's totally against it.

joanofarchitrave Tue 03-Sep-13 21:24:16

Your dh is against masturbation cjilly? Does he think it detracts from sex?

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