DS is 3.5 and the light of my life - I love his very bones and he makes me so happy. He has been a relatively easy baby and toddler and is extremely likeable. DD is 7 months and from the start has been hard work - just the usual baby stuff really but much more intense than DS. She cries a lot and is very demanding of my attention. I love her dearly and when she smiles at me my heart just melts however sometimes I feel like I don't really like her as much as DS (sad) and that our life was lovely and easy before we had DD and now its pretty full on and stressful. I have thought about it a lot and am pretty sure I don't have PND. Is this a typical reaction to having a demanding baby?? I hate to think that as DD gets bigger these feelings are not going to change
You may be misremembering what your ds was like as a baby. I certainly forgot how demanding babies were when dd arrived although looking back, ds wanted my attention, as any baby does. So perhaps try and remember she's being a 7 month old.
Also you should give her more attention - the less you give, the more she will want. Your 3.5 year old is easier - he's older, you know what he wants etc. I'd be careful not to unconsciously "blame" your dd for the stress. You chose to have her - so it isn't her fault.
I found it hard when my youngest was a baby because I never quite knew what I was supposed to do - I find toddlers much much easier. And now dd is 19 months (and ds 3.9) it's getting easier and easier.
You've ruled out PND - can I ask why? Have you spoken to someone?