5 week old - refluxy and unsettled - where to sleep at night?

[Mutley77]

My DD is 5 weeks - she is DC3 but my other 2 have pretty much settled to sleep happily in crib/moses basket or pram (DC1 aided by the dummy) other than for feeds so I don't have experience of what to do now!

During the day is manageable as she will often settle for quite a while in her pram especially if out and about (fresh air and noise I guess?) or I can be holding her or have her in the front carrier.

Night time is more tricky. I am really anxious about co-sleeping as haven't done it before and have anxiety issues anyway (SIDS is always on my mind...). I have co-slept with her a couple of nights, just me and her in bed while DH goes to spare room, but it doesn't seem to really help as I put her a little away from me so I can't roll on her or accidentally suffocate her with my duvet or pillows and therefore she is still flat and the only benefit is it being slightly easier to reach to comfort her.

The alternative is to have her upright on my chest which she loves (!) and stay awake which isn't practical every night as I a)can't stay awake and b)can't cope with the sleep deprivation.

How do others manage it?

[stargirl1701]

I did end co-sleeping with DD I'm afraid. I used an adult cellular blanket and sheet as bedcovers. I wore a hooded top on top of my pyjamas. I put my pillow under the fitted sheet.

We did also use a sleeping wedge in her crib which, when added to tipping the cot, creates more of an angle. There are wedge blocks available to create 45 degree (approx £250).

Have you heard of the site littlerefluxers.co.uk? Lots of good advice.

[Mutley77]

Thanks stargirl - when you co-slept - how did you prop up your DD - did she sleep on your chest with you on your back? Just worried about her slipping/rolling off....??

[Kafri]

Hi Star long time... How's DD these days?

Mutley For the first 10 weeks or so, DH and I literally did shifts with DS as he would not be laid down for love nor money. As time went on, we tried a bit of co-sleeping but I struggled to settle to it. I was told to sleep on my side with my knee over to stop me rolling and then DS would sleep in the crook of my arm. I didn't sleep well at all but it was either that or no sleep whatsoever.
Over time, we realised that, because of his reflux, he was far better on his tummy than his back and still sleeps far better on his tummy at 7m. I used to watch over him for hour on end making sure he was ok on his tummy, but gradually as he got stronger became more comfortable with it. Now he can turn over, if I put him on his back, he turns himself to his tummy.

[stargirl1701]

Hey Kafri! I hope things are improving for you and DS. It sounds like there is light at the end of the tunnel! I'm really pleased for you

DD chooses to sleep on her tummy too. I still put her down on her back but she rolls over immediately. Interestingly, she cries when turned onto her back in swim class...negative association?

I slept on my side with DD alongside me on her side. Her head was level with my breasts. I 'flipped' over her rather than rolling over as I would normally. DH had to sleep in the spare room. I found I was very aware of her and didn't sleep deeply. I co-slept naps too. It was a bit weird having DH in the other room but neither of us were really sleeping otherwise. We tried putting her down until 4 months but it was hell. She would only sleep 40 min before waking and screaming for hours.

I found movement helped - walking with the pram, using a sling, driving the car, etc. In the end, I was too tired for all of these and changed to taking circular bus journeys with the pram for DD and a pillow for me. We got on in the village, fell asleep quickly and then returned to the village. Just remind the driver to wake you!

[Kafri]

Oh, DS is a delight (most days) now. He cut his first two teeth at 16 weeks and now has 6 with 3 more 'on the way'. he tends to have a bad few days as one actually cuts but other than that things are pretty care free now - I really couldn't see myself saying that a few months back.

The bus journeys sound interesting - DS is still not great in his pram, and certainly won't sleep in it. (goes back to the tummy thing) so that's the pain in the neck part - I have to make sure i'm home for him to nap. No biggie though in comparison to those early days!!

[stargirl1701]

I hear you! The mums at the groups I go to are complaining about their crawling babies. I am loving every minute with crawling DD. it's a breeze compared to those first 7 months!

[Mutley77]

Thanks ladies. I am sure DD would like sleeping on her tummy but I daren't try it as I can't cope with the anxiety of that - I am not at the end of my tether with sleep deprivation yet (not far off). At least it is something we could try.

Luckily DH can still do shifts with me at night - he is working but job not ridiculously stressful at the mo so he is doing his share and getting a good four hours or so of a block does mean that it is bearable.

The bus journeys sound quite relaxing (but I'm sure it wasn't necessarily at the time!)