Further freakingly fantabulous adventures of the 40+ Mummies Part 2

(1000 Posts)
blueblackdye Tue 21-May-13 21:08:55

Our 2nd thread is full but it won't prevent us from laughing, moaning, keeping on supporting each other, sharing and chatting over our new life with 1 or 2, even 5 children !
Here you go, fantastic 40+ Mums, a brand new thread for all of us, old friends from the pregnancy thread or new joiners

scarecrow22 Mon 30-Sep-13 20:40:29

goat sorry your mil in hospital and really hope things work.out for her.

eagle, agree with goat's analysis of possible cold/imminent virus link. Or she has a tinker gene wink Hope she is okay.

Finally got dd's temp down below 38 thus evening. She had been so pathetically sweet, saying "sank you mummy" everything I wiped her eyes and face or gave her some juice, and "no pease" when she didn't want something (including icecream hmm shock sad ) Thankfully T was a total poppet and so survived day well. Utterly drained so off to bed after I've finished arguing with the radio (podcast of Pinar's Politics)

blueblackdye Mon 30-Sep-13 20:46:00

Scarecrow, hope DD will recover soon. I sometimes too want to leave the kids with DH and when it actually happens, I feel like a part of me is missing.
Goat, is baby G better ? Let me know where and when on 9th, I will try to join even for a quick drink with you
Eagle, I tend to give finger food while spoon feeding, A now wants to eat by herself with spoon or fork and she manages sometimes, I am OK with that at nursery smile but when she starts being fussy, I just move on, she will be hungry later ! But most of the time, she needs changing. No meal battle anymore. Same with DS. Thanks for the photography tip, will try to use it as soon as I can borrow a proper camera, not DS one !

DS is being a bit difficult, demanding and almost rude. I know that new school, new friends, new routine, that is a lot to take in for a 4yo but I feel guilty that I have let things slip and he now acts in a way that I find unacceptable. Parenting is so challenging. But what would I do without these tantrums ? Life would be so boring, hum hum.

Rosie, you got me thinking, I read your post before MNHQ deleted it smile very interesting, thank you.

Wave to Somewhere, Pudding and I hope I have not missed anyone. Off to bed early again. Thanks Scarecrow for reminding me to take Zn as well as Vit C. And Echinacea.

scarecrow22 Mon 30-Sep-13 21:07:08

xpost LRM : huge sympathy about sleep. brew or wine

bbd so hope you not feeling too rotten and hope your week picks up

scarecrow22 Mon 30-Sep-13 21:09:42

goat hope I will be able to make 9th - nursery (or not as having second thoughts) allowing. I can get train to Waterloo or drive to Kew and get on District line tube...

EagleRay Mon 30-Sep-13 23:19:57

Oh poor little DD Scarecrow - and not wanting ice cream! Hope she recovers soon. Baby E had a temp of 38.5 at the weekend but thankfully it's back to normal now.

Survived first proper nursery session today! Off to a bad start as slept in after a fretful night (waking at 1, 4, 6 and 7am) and eventually dropped her off at 9am then rushed back to work my way through a pile of tasks. The time flew by and then I went back at lunchtime to find she'd refused bottle, napped for 45 mins, eaten some curry for lunch and not cried once! She was a bit wobbly after spending a few mins with me though, as if she suddenly remembered what I was about and then screamed all the way home in the sling, then projectile vommed over me after I fed her sat on the sofa.

Dinner time this eve was interesting - I bought a slice of lentil tart from a local deli and just broke off a chunk for her tea. She absolutely hoovered it up, and was very careful to get every single little piece I handed her into her mouth. LRM/Somewhere funnily enough we have a similar pile of items to hand now for distraction - ikea washing up brush with sucker on handle, coaster with a frog floating in it, plastic spoon and a tea towel for playing peekaboo.

Hope you get some decent sleep soon LRM. DD sleeps through some nights but I hate going to bed with the fear/expectation that she might wake up at any point. As soon as I've been lulled into a false sense of security she spends the night awake!

Oh and now I hear crying upstairs...

<back now after feeding her>

Rosie grin at the idea of a dog - it would have a field day sat under DD's highchair!

BBD no idea if DS is responding to recent changes or if it's just a normal phase, but as with everything, this too shall pass, especially under your expert, caring eye!

Goat hope your MIL is better soon. Trying to imagine you playing your piano now!

knottyhair Tue 01-Oct-13 05:46:18

Hi everyone. Sorry I've been absent - just been a bit manic here with DP recovering from the snip. He's due back at work at the end of the week so he's starting to "help" around the house, i.e. cleaned all the windows and sugar soaped all the kitchen cupboards whilst ignoring the dishwasher, washing up, laundry to be hung out etc.. Bless him. I will try to catch up properly later but for BBD, not sure if you know but boys have a hormone surge at age 4. DS literally went from being a little darling to an angry, stroppy ball of tantrums at that age. It lasted a couple of weeks before it started improving and we found this book invaluable. But as you say, he's also got a lot going on. And everything passes... Scarecrow, hope your DD feels better soon, she sounds amazing smile.

blueblackdye Tue 01-Oct-13 09:40:58

Oh babies and sleep, we never know with these LO, one night can be so different to the other, I guess our body somehow copes with it for a short period of time, but yes it is so frustrating when we know our babies can sleep through but would not. DH has started again taking care of A when she wakes up during the night, Sunday was the first night and she did scream for 30 min, yesterday was better, just 15 min but woke up at 6 am, hope she will sleep a bit at nursery today. I weighed her yesterday, she has gained only 150g in the last 2 months, should I be worried ? On the other hand, she is absolutely fine, active, lively, cheeky, eats well...

Hope everyone is feeling better today, Scarecrow's DD, Goat's MIL.
Well done baby Eagle at nursery.
Rosie, hopefully I will get a chance to sort things today ! It has been a week and I have not had a second.
Knotty, thank you very much for the link, I will try to find it at the library. I have read How to talk so kids will listen & listen so kids will talk, some very good things and ideas in it, but I believe too that my (bad) anger management/arguments with DH had its impact and your book can probably help me.

somewherebecomingrain Tue 01-Oct-13 09:49:17

Hello running in and out to say

badly behaved 4-year-old boy starting school? check!

weds 9 is good for me between 10.30am and 2pm

blueblackdye Tue 01-Oct-13 10:18:26

grin Somewhere ! That is the pb, he is 90% well behaved but the other 10% drive me mad.

scarecrow22 Tue 01-Oct-13 13:07:16

dd much better. Now wondering if bad behaviour last week also in part start of this virus. Thanks for well wishes. Think T has mild version, but I do too, so hope bf will help him through. Both on eye drops. Putting eye drops in a 33mo is literally the hardest task known to man.

bbd slow weight gain, even stagnation, is, I've read, v normal, even desirable. I read that how they should develop though my dd grew hugely between 1 and 2. she appears ro have only gained almost nothing in the last five months though. Don't need to worry if she is healthy and fine in herself and developing normally.

scarecrow22 Tue 01-Oct-13 13:08:32

bbd my message referred to after 1yo

scarecrow22 Tue 01-Oct-13 14:24:13

bbd and somewhere, Denis also 90pc adorable and 10pc exasperating. Now what do they all have in common??

knotty that book looks just what I need to read at the.moment. Along with the listening book. Thank you

scarecrow22 Tue 01-Oct-13 14:24:43

DD, not Denis hmm

rosiedays Tue 01-Oct-13 14:55:07

hi everyone, been trying to write a post all day but keep getting distracted! flowers to all tired mummy's and poorly babies. i'm knackered, rosebud has turned her growth spurt/ feeding frenzy into a new norm and its exhausting. she is very happy in between times which is lovely. today she has learnt how to make a new noise... its like an 'in-breath squeal' or the whoop of a whooping cough and very loud. certainly gets my attention.
she also has a lot of little white blister like bubbles on the inside of her lips, am I right in thinking this is just from feeding?? its only on lips and I don't think it looks like thrush.

Scarecrow.... do you often argue with the radio? lol (I have a vision!!) do you, any one else, watch loose women at lunchtime? I'd never seen it before rosebud was born..... addicted now!!

what did you ladies do while you were feeding? I'm spending hours sitting on (slightly wonky) sofa feeding and my brain in going into overdrive..... I'm overthinking EVERYTHING! yesterday it was that rosedud will have separation issues because she is only with me all day every day. if we were in Egypt she would be passed around a lot and have the input of MIL/sil aunties etc. they really do community parent babies (yes to the point of BF each others babies!!!) the women will all get together most days in large family groups and children/ babies are just looked after by whoever is nearest them when they need something.
My Dgd has terrible separation problems (getting better slowly she's 2.4 now) I haven't been able to give her a cuddle since she was about rosebuds age, no one other than dd has, she will scream till she's sick if anyone gets close to her even if she is in dd arms. I would hate rosebud to be like that. its heartbreaking for everyone. I spent all day yesterday wasting headspace on nonsense and it's becoming a habit.

I've been thinking a lot about goals too... in lots of the management training i've done they say if you write your goals down or share them you are more likely to achieve them. do you want to share some goals? we can help and support each other to achieve them?
mine...
To make 6 bottles of sloe gin this month. (need to find sloe berries here or drive to Weymouth here I know where there are some great bushes)
To ebf rosebud till 6 months.
to be ready financially/ practically to leave UK this time next year. (lots of small goals needed to achieve this)

right, off to contemplate my navel some more. grin

Scarecrow isn't that putting eye drops in is the hardest task known to woman? Means it's MUCH harder!! grin

Sorry. Just spent a day at work running round after blokes who haven't done their job. Honestly, BG is much more organised about what he needs!

Oh and sbr. Yay for the 9th! Hope bbd and scare can come too. Anyone else?

EagleRay Tue 01-Oct-13 23:06:57

Evening all - would love to come along on the 9th but think it's going to be too far for us to come. Also its 3 days before the naming ceremony and imagine I'll be flat out sorting out that (partly because I'm the only person doing any organising but hey ho). Will be there in spirit though!

Last night was SHITEOUS. DD awake at 11, 2, 4, 5, 7 and 8, each waking requiring boob, rocking, calpol or me just pleading. It seems to be her cough that's waking her, and the cough is caused by the snot in her nose! And can hear her coughing again now, so will have to type bloody fast.

Was wrecked today and too tired to contemplate entertaining her at home so we drove to the zoo (and she slept on the way there and I rested even though I was driving as got to have coffee and listen to radio in peace). We walked around with her in the sling and I tried new tactics feeding her lunch - broke off pieces of food and held them just within reach of her. Temptation was too much so she grabbed the food and stuffed it into her mouth (with me discreetly helping). Saw a male silverback and was shocked at how bloody huge it was - the paternal pride was etched on his face when one of the youngsters was fooling around though smile

Rosie what do I do when feeding? To my utter shame I don't read all the bloody books that have been piling up. I scroll through MN threads and buy stuff on Ebay, and that is pretty much it. I guess it comes from hours of night feeds where reading a book wasn't possible - having a smartphone has been a lifesaver.

As for goals - they are good to have. I start each day with a list (boring/trivial/fun things - they all get written down) and do get some sort of sense of achievement from ticking off a few things. I also try to fast forward to when I'm back at work/DD is older and try to think about how I would have wanted to spend my time at home and that helps me keep some focus too. On the list are learning to crochet, getting some photos made into prints and put on the wall at bloody long last (I have many 10's of 1,000's to choose from!) and doing some long distance hikes/bike rides with DD, hopefully a couple of days at a time or longer. Longer term, would like to save enough money for either a property project or RTW trip (might need to run that by DP some time)

Sloe gin sounds fab - we will be watching!

Knotty hope your DP is fully recovered soon and better able to prioritise the household chores smile

EagleRay Tue 01-Oct-13 23:20:03

oh and re new thread - yes am pretty sure it will be the 4th. And good point Scarecrow about not having a title which emphasises the sequel-ness of it all.

Can't think of anything imaginative right now, but something mentioning a snug with cakes, 40+, members old and new welcome.

Or how about...

Grow old with me! The best is yet to be. Come and join the 40+ mums plus babies, toddlers etc in the snug where tea, cake and sympathy are being served.

The first bit is a Robert Browning quote by the way.

Other nice quotes are:

None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely
It's sad to grow old, but nice to ripen

somewherebecomingrain Wed 02-Oct-13 06:27:05

great title
put the quotes in your introductory post.

goals - yes. to do proper activities with my son that dont involve telly. first up, silk screen printing him his own customised t-shirts with his own mad designs (green sharp magical hands anyone?).

to do little things for the environment and keep track of biger things as they become possible (did you know the price of installing solar panels has fallen by half?)

bbd and scarecrow please please come on the 9th. goat glad we have a plan and will love to meet the legend that is BG.

eagle hope to meet you another time. tho as one of this thread's most prolific posters i feel i know you well.

knotty have bought your book.

oh yes - think my son may be dyslexic. seen signs before - he cant write his name quite - and came home yesterday with the following: DWOO.

knottyhair Wed 02-Oct-13 06:46:48

What time & where are you meeting on the 9th?? If I can managed it inbetween school runs, I'd love to come but it depends where in London you'll be - sorry if this has already been mentioned and I've missed it blush.

somewherebecomingrain Wed 02-Oct-13 06:52:44

up for discussion.

met scarecrow at royal festival hall on the southbank - couches, good indoor/outdoor options, but BG might need to be somewhere more cooped up, there would be lots of space for him to run around in.

i will put my thinking cap on.

im gonna start the new thread with eagles sugestions!

somewherebecomingrain Wed 02-Oct-13 07:02:41
blueblackdye Wed 02-Oct-13 07:57:44

Will meet you all on the other new thread ! Thanks Somewhere and Eagle

Argh just lost post! Oh well...
Yay and thanks for new thread sbr! Yes, it's the fourth. I was just reading our first thread yesterday actually, and I noticed that most posts were added between 2 and 3 in the morning! Lots of midnight food porn going on too... grin
As to place for meeting up on 9th. Southbank is possible, though I won't get much sitting still in a cafe! BG could run up and down outside RFH and if it gets too much I can chuck him in the river to swim home or maybe Kew Gardens, which has Lollipop club soft play next door in the rugby grounds? Or Coram Fields in Bloomsbury? www.coramsfields.org/
Sorry you won't make it eagle but sounds like you will indeed have your hands full with naming ceremony. Maybe we should think of a Christmas get together, perhaps in West London or a tiny bit further afield so it is more central for everyone?

Can't be doing with unfinished threads...

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