DD (5) lying - what to do about it?

[plipplops]

A few days ago DDs were eating breakfast, DD1 said "mummy look what DD2's just done" and pointed to the salt pot which had been knocked over and spilt a bit. DD2 (4) looked a bit surprised and said she hadn't knocked it. I questioned DD1 and she admitted she had knocked it over. I told her that lying was really really bad and she must never ever do it again. She looked suitably contrite.

Then yesterday DH saw her kick DD2 across the room. He went over and she said DD1 had asked her to kick her(!) Again DD2 looked a bit (genuinely) surprised and said she hadn't. He asked her again and she admitted she was lying.

It's never over anything very important (she's a good girl so doesn't really tend to do really bad things) but I'm worried she might make a habit of lying. I imagine she's going through a learning phase where she's realising that she can lie to us (or teachers probably) and we may not always find out.

I don't want to overreact as I kind of want her to think we always know the truth, and if we go mad every time we know, but then miss one she might think we don't know everything iyswim?! Any thoughts (or reassurance she'll stop soon) would be great, thanks :o)

[Parietal]

Tell her the story of the boy who cried wolf? I think cracking down hard just makes children learn to be better liars. It is more important to think of the consequences of each action - did someone get hurt? will my lie hurt someone else?

(some lies are good, like saying thank you for a horrible present).

[plipplops]

Thanks Parietal, I did wonder about getting some moralistic stories, anyone know any other ones than the Boy Who Cried Wolf? She's quite a sensitive child who generally likes rules and sticks to them, so I think we should be able to nip it in the bud by just telling her how wrong it is. It seems so out of character which is very odd, so I was wondering of there's some kind of developmental milestone or something that might be making her do it?

[cenicienta]

I think I would avoid calling it "lying" at this age. Instead maybe stress how important it is that we always tell the truth, then practise with her making it into a game. E.g. take turns to make up sentences that might be true or false, then the other has to say whether it is true or untrue.

Also stress that you would prefer her to tell the truth, even if the truth isn't very nice.

I think at this age there can be a blur between what is real and what is fantasy. Stay positive rather than accusing and she should move through this (hopefully).